Page 185 of Between the Blue
“Come on, man,” Rhett begs. “Just admit it. I get it. I do. But I can’t help you through it unless you fucking admit it.”
“What?” Ben demands.
Rhett’s lips press together, and when he speaks again, his voice is much quieter.
“She looks like her.”
All of the air seems to be sucked out of the locker room at once, the silence so intense that I’m convinced you could hear a pin drop.
Ben doesn’t say anything in response to Rhett, seeming to be frozen in place.
Her?I question in my head.
What could he mean by that?
Who isher?
“Julia,” Rhett breathes, answering my question as if he heard it aloud.
Julia?
Who the hell is–
My spine straightens, and something suddenly comes back to me.
A vivid memory of Ben tossing and turning in our bed.
Muttering the wordjewels.
Except it wasn’t that.
Jules.
Julia.
Ben shakes his head. Slowly at first, but then faster, like the movement isn’t in his control.
Rhett starts to reach out for him. “Bennett–”
Ben slaps his hand away, jolting backwards. “Don’t.” He runs a hand down his face, continuing to shake his head.
“You know that I’m right,” Rhett attempts.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Ben fumes through the words, yet he still shrinks back against the locker as he utters them.
Rhett holds both of his hands up, seeming to show that he means no harm as he steps closer. “Jamesy, it’s okay. It’s been a long time. You’re allowed to move on–”
“No,” Ben insists. “I can’t.I won’t.I don’t deserve– It’s not–She’snot– I’m too–”
His words break off, and it takes me a moment to register that it’s not anger that’s making him stumble over his words, but the fact that he’s now crying.
Rhett closes the distance between them, placing his hands on Ben’s shoulders. Ben tries to resist him at first, but then appears to give up the fight. “You don’t understand, Sutty,” he cries.
“And I never fully will,” he agrees. “I can’t. But, man, you don’t deserve to live like this. Don’t let her do this to you.”
“I did this to me,” Ben mutters.
“It doesn’t have to be like this. You can be happy again. I’ve seen it. You’re still in there. When you’re with her–”
