Page 181 of Between the Blue
I don’t say anything back, because there’s nothing to say.
I don’t ask her to go.
She doesn’t ask me to stay.
She stays.
I go.
And it was the biggest mistake I ever made.
forty-eight
HER
He left.
I didn’t follow him.
He didn’t call.
I avoided him for two weeks.
He didn’t seem to care.
And now we’re here. In whatever state this is.
And I’m trying to act like it doesn’t matter to me.
Because, clearly, it never mattered to him.
Or maybe it did. But I’ll never know. Because, for whatever reason, he won’t tell me.
He won’t tell me anything. And that doesn’t work for me.
Ben was right when he said I deserve better. But it doesn’t make me want him any less. And it doesn’t prevent me from missing him.
And how weird it is to miss someone that’s so close to you.
I’ve seen him everyday since. He’s been so near that I could reach out and touch him dozens of times. But I can’t. And that makes it all so much worse.
But I have to stay strong. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Because Ben didn’t.
Whatever that means.
I’ve thrown myself into my work, because, honestly, I haven’t known what else to do. And it’s what I do best.
I’ve been taking so many photos and posting more content than ever. I’ve pushed myself into graphic design and high-level editing in the way I’ve always wanted to, constantly using the excuse in the past that I’m too busy and will do it when things slow down. And my hard work has paid off. I’m producing great content and even better results. Rick even mentioned to me in our meeting last week that our social engagement is up by 400%.
That made me happy. It reminded me why I’m here. Why I came here in the first place.
So, today, just like the past week, I walked into the arena with blinders on, laser focused on what I’m here to do. It’s a home game. One of the last of the regular season before playoffs begin. The place will be packed and the crowd will be crazy. And I’m ready for it.
I’m waiting inside the tunnel, ready for the announcer to welcome the players out for warm ups any second now. By the time I adjust the settings on my camera and take a few test shots, the familiar voice fills the arena.
“Storm fans, get on your feet!”
