Page 179 of Between the Blue

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She stands up from my porch. Walks down the couple of steps. Slips her hands in her back pockets. “I need you to do something for me.”

“Anything,” I say.

And I mean it.

She blows a breath out of her nose. Looks up at me with her hazel eyes. And then she whispers, “Ask me again.”

I tilt my head at her. Blink.

She doesn’t elaborate.

But, somehow, I know.

I close the distance to her.

And then, I don’t ask her.

Instead, I tell her.

“Come to Texas with me.”

She presses her lips together. Tries to smile at me.

But it doesn’t work.

“Jules…”

“Ben.”

“Jules.”

I reach up. Hold her face in my hands. Like that’ll somehow keep her tethered to me. Like it’ll change everything. Like it will do something to keep the next words from coming out of her mouth.

She tries to smile again, but it wavers. Her eyes look glossy, mirroring the dark circles beneath them. The ones that seem to show this is putting her through just as much as it’s putting me through. Which makes me understand it all even less.

“You know I can’t,” she mutters.

“Why?”

Her eyes close. They stay that way for one long second. She takes a deep breath. Opens them again. All traces of a smile are gone as she says, “Because I don’t want to.”

My hands slowly slide down her face, falling away. “What?”

“I don’t want to go with you,” Jules repeats.

It only feels like a blade slicing straight through my heart.

“But… I… You…” I stammer. Shake my head. My thoughts are suddenly a churning sea covered by black clouds.

“You’ve always known this,” she says.

I look up at her. My vision’s blurry.

I know I’m about to cry.

I don’t care.

“I told you from the beginning,” she says. “From just after we became friends.”

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