Page 191 of Something Rad

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“Oh, hey, Robbie,” she grins.

I push my tongue into the side of my cheek, my fist tightening at my side.

“Whatcha got there?” Denise asks, glancing down towards the boombox, specifically at the tape on the back readingCheer Team.

“Nothing that concerns you,” I grit.

She lets out a musical laugh. “I think it concerns me if you’re using the cheer team’s property. How did you even–”

“In fact,” I cut her off, “nothingthat happens in my life concerns you anymore. Because, Denise, if you remember,youmade sure of that.”

She tilts her head at me, the corner of her mouth twitching. “What?” she questions me.

“Youbroke up with me. Remember that?”

She chuckles, shaking her head. “Robbie–”

“You decided I wasn’t good enough for you. That I didn’t have enough to offer. That I wasn’tserious.” She opens her mouth to try to argue, but I hold up a hand, not letting her. “And I fought you on it, because I wanted you. I wantedyoutowant me. But you didn’t, no matter what I said. No matter what I tried.No, you didn’t want me until you sawsomeone elsehave me. Until you saw someone that was a whole lot more serious than you claim to be wanting me. Even though you had already moved on, with one of myclosest friends, I might add. You still just…couldn’t stand that, could you? The thought of me being happy with someone else? Someone that wasn’t anything like you? Someone that actually cares about me and listens to me and fights for me? ”

Denise shakes her head. “I just…I didn’t know you and Sara were ever that serious…”

“So you decided to test that theory by embarrassing her in front of the entire school? After already making a show of her in front of everyone at your holiday party?”

“I…” Denise stammers. “I just didn’t think–”

“Yeah, clearly,” I start to move past her, but she stops me with a hand on my arm.

“Is it such a crime that I missed you?” she asks. “That I realized I made a mistake?”

“No,” I shake my head. “We all make mistakes, Denise. And one of mine is letting you pull me away from the girl that actually makes me feel like I’m worth something on the inside for another second.”

“Robbie–” Denise whines.

“Denise, I truly wish you the best,” I say, pulling my arm from her grasp. “But we have no reason to speak anymore. And I have another mistake I need to go fix.”

And, with that, I make a beeline for the courtyard.

I know that’s where she’ll be, and I know that if I let my feet stop moving, if I let myself question what I’m about to do, I might miss my chance.

Just do it.

It’ll work.

The lunch bell already rang over fifteen minutes ago. With the time it took to track down Lisa, convince her to help me, and wait for her to get the boombox, I’m sure there will be a pretty healthy crowd of students already settled in the courtyard eating lunch. I can’t decide if that’s better or worse. It’s not like I’ve ever shied away from a crowd before, but I can’t explain it. This feels different.

It’s not different. It’s going to be fine.

It’ll work.

I push open the door, sliding on my sunglasses with one hand the moment I’m outside. I don’t stop walking until I reach the most central table in the courtyard, which, surprisingly, is open.

It’s like it was waiting for me, I think.

This is gonna work.

I set the boombox on one of the seats and make quick work of transferring the tape from my Walkman into it, getting it to the place in the album where I need it and ready to play. I blow out one deep breath before I hop up on the table. I stand tall, telling myself I’m searching for her, but the truth is, I already know she’s here.

I was aware of her presence the moment I stepped into the courtyard, like a spark in the air or the smell of flowers in the breeze; you can’t see it, but you just know it’s there, invading your every sense. I stand tall, scanning the area around me, and it takes approximately three seconds before I spot the fiery head of hair I’m looking for.