Page 188 of Something Rad
Denise kisses Robbie.
And everything goes black.
Luckily I’m wearing my camera strapped around my neck, because it nearly slips right from my fingers. I don’t think I’d even care if I wasn’t though. If it fell to the ground and smashed to a million pieces, that might actually make me feel better. Because it would mean that my heart isn’t the only thing in this room that’s absolutely shattered and destroyed.
I don’t know why she did it.
But after what Alice told me Robbie had to say–very loudly, in the middle of the hallway, where the entire school could hear him– something tells me that I don’t know much of anything anymore.
Robbie looks surprised by Denise kissing him, but that doesn’t really mean anything. Not really. It just means that he’s not completely heartless. Not enough to smear the fact that he doesn’t really need me right in front of my face.No, he’d wait to do it behind my back. But Denise doesn’t need to do that.
Because she felt confident enough to do it. Right here on this stage. In front of everyone. In front ofme.
Because she’s that kinda girl.
No wonder she does things for Robbie.
It feels like there’s gravel in my throat as I swallow.
“Okay, kids, whoa there,” Principal Whileyman chuckles uncomfortably. I can see his gaze swinging between me and Robbie, and I don’t have the heart to look at him and address the confusion he’s clearly feeling.
Denise pulls away from Robbie, flashing him a grin before she spins and walks off the stage. I don’t stick around any longer to see what Robbie does. Alice tries to call my name, but I ignore her, heading straight for the door.
“Alright, settle down everyone,” Principal Whileyman says over the roaring crowd of students. “You’re about to be dismissed to go to your second period classes–”
I don’t hear anymore as the gym door swings closed behind me, muffling the sound.
I force myself to keep moving, because the ache in my knees tells me that, if I stop, I’ll collapse. I breathe deeply, forcing air into my lungs, but it’s useless. I can’t get enough. I’m feeling so many emotions that I don’t even know which one to focus on. There’s so many voices in my head shouting over one another to make their thoughts known that they’re all blurring together. My chest and head feel like a jumbled mess, but the one thing I feel above it all is stupidity.
Absolute utterstupidity.
I reach my locker, robotically spinning the dial as fast as I can and entering the code to unlock it. I throw the door open, setting my camera inside and grabbing my things for my next few classes. I start to close the door, but have to pause, gripping the side of it as I take a deep, shuddering breath.
I can’t believe I let myself fall for it. Fall forhim.
I always knew. I knew what he was,whohe was. And I also knew whoIwas. And that the two of us just don’twork. We’ll never work. I always knew. But I guess, if I was going to find out for sure, it’s nice that I know now.
God, it feels like there is a gaping hole in my chest.
“Cooper!”
My spine snaps straight, my head shaking.
No.
Robbie’s hand lands on my shoulder, spinning me around.
“Cooper–”
I slap his hand away, taking a step back.
His brows pull together, his mouth opening to speak again.
“No,” I practically growl.
“Cooper, please just let me–”
“Robbie, I can’t even look at you right now, much less let you do anything.”
