Page 153 of Something Rad
She’s looking at Robbie.
I look at Robbie.
Now he’s looking at me.
He looks between Denise and me, settling finally on me.
The expression on his face is unreadable. His brows are pinched, his lips rolling into his mouth.
The circle lets out a chorus ofOoos, and heat rushes to my face, my hand gripping the neck of the bottle in my hands.
“Oh my goodness!” Denise squeals. “Well, isn’t this just hilarious?”
Robbie’s eyes are still on me. I notice the tiniest flick of his head, as if he’s about to start shaking it, but Denise distracts me, bringing my eyes back to her face. “Well, I suppose this is just how the game is played,” she says. “You don’t mind, do you, Sara?” She’s asking, but she’s already inching towards Robbie, crawling towards him like an evil lioness.
Maybe that’s why I suddenly have the urge to claw her eyes out.
No. I stop my thoughts in their tracks, gritting my teeth together.
This is perfect, actually.
Isn’t this the whole point of what we’re doing? Isn’t this what Robbie wants? I swallow against the lump in my throat.
Yeah, this is exactly what he wants.
I got what I wanted. I'm the student body president. I’m the yearbook editor. My scholarship application is as strong as it can be. I got my end of the bargain.
It’s time Robbie gets his.
I glance up at him, seeing his tongue dart out to wet his bottom lip.
Have at it, Summers.
“No,” I say. Robbie’s spine steels. Denise pauses her stalking, looking in my direction. “Of course I don’t mind,” I finish. “It’s only fair.”
A huge grin spreads across Denise’s face. I take another long drink, watching Robbie’s eyes narrow on me. His lips pull up at one side, and I hear him scoff out the quietest of laughs.
This is fine.
I can watch this happen. I may have realized sometime in the near past that I may not hate Robbie as much as I thought I did, but that should mean that I should want him to be happy. That I should want him to have fun. This is good. This is fine.
Denise closes in, grabbing Robbie by the front of his shirt and pulling him forward to her. Their lips crash together. Robbie’s eyes fall shut.
And my heart drops straight into my stomach.
I can see Denise smiling against Robbie’s mouth, loving every second of this. Though Robbie seems stiffer than usual, he eventually shifts his head to the side, allowing her slightly better access to him.
It feels like somebody has dumped boiling water straight over the top of my head, every inch of my skin sizzling and itching with an emotion I can only compare to rage.
This isn’t good.
This isn’t fine.
Why isn’t it fine?
I see the fingers of Robbie’s left hand flexing, reaching up and grappling for something to hold. But when they graze Denise’s waist, his eyes open just enough to meet mine over Denise’s shoulder, and his hand drops back to his side. I look away, biting into the side of my cheek and trying my absolute best to seem completely unfazed. Luckily, all eyes are on Denise and Robbie.
Of course they are. This is how it’s always been. How it’s always going to be.
