Page 123 of Something Rad
Jesse lets out a sort of chuckle into the microphone as the cheers die down. “Well, well, well, here we are!” he says, and I resist the expression of annoyance that my face is trying to twist into. “You know, it feels natural to start this sort of thing out with the whole ‘For those of you who don’t know me’ thing, but let’s be real here. This is Bay View High, and I know you all know exactly who I am.”
More claps and cheers erupt, and my stomach twists further with every single one.
“I’m Jesse. But, more importantly than who I am, iswhatI am. And that’s a proven leader.” Hoots and hollers burst from the room, making Jesse’s smug smile only grow wider. “Throughout my three years here at Bay View, I’ve become a top honor student, an active community servant, a star debate team member, president of the Italian club, and the captain of the varsity basketball team.”
A roar of deep cheers sounds from one area of the bleachers, and I just know it’s the basketball team. I refuse to even glance that way, clenching my hands into fists to stop myself, because something tells me that if I see Robbie included in the mix, I may not make it on that stage.
“I’ve had my path set for as long as I can remember,” Jesse continues. “I’m going off to UC Berkeley in the fall, and then I’ll head to medical school to become a doctor. Being in this position is the perfect way to spend my senior year and the best way to cap off my high school experience. You all have known and trusted me to lead you these last three years. Let’s finish off strong. Vote me for your student body president.”
Jesse steps away from the podium, nodding and grinning towards the crowd as they burst into applause. I feel frozen in place as Principal Whileyman steps past me to get back on the stage. I barely register Jesse stepping down, other than the dirty look I know he threw in my direction. I don’t have the energy to spare for him anymore.
This is it.
“Thank you for that, Mr. Lamonte,” Principal Whileyman says into the microphone, clapping his hands. “And now, we have Ms. Sara Cooper.”
My teeth sink hard into my lower lip the minute my name is said.
Walk, Sara. Walk, I tell myself.
Keeping my eyes on the floor, I make my way onto the stage, and am surprised when I hear a decently loud applause as I do. I mean, it doesn’t have near the passion that Jesse’s welcome had, but considering that I was met with pure silence every time this scene played out in my nightmares this week, this is certainly an upgrade.
I make it to the podium, gripping onto it with shaky hands. I’m still keeping my gaze out of focus, not ready to face the crowd yet. Once the clapping fizzles out, however, I realize I’m out of time. I do my best to appear completely at ease, letting out a relaxed laugh. “Wow, great job, Jesse,” I say into the microphone as I pull my journal out of my back pocket. “I feel bad for whoever has to follow that up.”
A couple (and I meana couple) of chuckles rattle off at my lame joke, before full silence settles in the room. I roll my lips into my mouth as I open my journal on top of the podium, pulling out the folded up piece of notebook paper I shoved inside it containing my speech. I nearly rip it as I try to open it with my jittery fingers. After two failed attempts, I finally get the paper unfolded, but when I stare down at it, my vision blurs, all the letters and words jumbling together.
Panicking, feeling like I’ve been quiet for too long, I try to get some words out. “S–so, thank you all f–for being here. I–uh…”
I blink hard, trying to focus on the words of my written speech, but I can’t. It’s not working. My chest starts to become painfully tight, and I find myself clenching onto the side of the podium with my hand.
Breathe, Sara. Just breathe.
I listen to myself, closing my eyes and forcing myself to take a deep breath, letting it out slowly through my nose. Then I face my biggest fear of all. I open my eyes, looking out into the crowd.
And there he is.
I find Robbie instantly, our gazes snapping together like two magnets finding each other. He’s smack in the middle of the crowd, sitting at the front of the cluster of basketball boys, his entire attention fully focused on me. Even from here, I can see his eyes are sporting milk chocolate this afternoon, and something about that sends a wave of warm comfort through me.
I find myself snapping to attention, however, when I realize Robbie is trying to say something to me. I zero in on his lips, watching him mouth to me,You got this, Cooper.
My spine straightens, and when he realizes I’ve understood him, Robbie nods at me. I nod back.
I’ve got this.
“So, I must admit,” I say, leaning into the microphone with newfound confidence, “Jesse really beat me to it with the ‘For those who don’t know me’ schtick, but I’m going to do it anyway. Because, even though thisisBay View High, I know with certainty that there’s plenty of you whodon’tknow me. I mean, we are a small town and a small school, so of course you know me. But I know you don’t reallyknowme. You know?”
I expect a handful of laughs from the audience at the absurd amount ofknows I just uttered, but it stays completely silent. I swallow my remaining hesitation, carrying on.
“So, I’m Sara Cooper. Some of you might remember me as Sara Beth Cooper back in elementary school. There’s a story behind that, but I won’t burden you with it right now.” I let out a nervous chuckle, shaking my head. “You see, the truth is, I haven’t actually spoken to the majority of you here. Sure, we’ve had classes together over the years, but most of you have probably never given me a second thought. Until maybe these last few weeks at least.”
My eyes reflexively flick to Robbie, and I see his tongue pushing into the side of his cheek as he stifles a smirk. He nods at me again, and I know he’s urging me to continue.
“You see, I’ve always been on the outskirts of things. I’ve attended every pep rally these last three years, and countless other school events. But I’ve never truly beeninthem. I’ve always been off to the side, too focused on capturing the moment all of you were having rather than living in it myself. And, honestly, I’ve loved it that way. Before this year, I hadn’t been to a single school dance or sports game that I wasn’t taking photos at. Genuinely, I’m not sure I’ve spent a single lunch hour without working on homework or planning out a newspaper or yearbook spread. I’ve really been a silent bystander at this school…” I take a breath, my lips rolling into my mouth.
“But, when you really think about it…aren’t those the people that actually take the most in? Not the people that live in the scene, but those that observe it? I know every in and out of this school. I know who is who, what they’re involved in, where they’re going. I know what gets people excited, what bothers them, even what scares them.”
I decide to steal a glance at the crowd. I’m not sure if it was a mistake, because every person staring back at me is still, dead silent, and wearing an absolutely unreadable expression, including Robbie.
Well, there’s no turning back now.
