Page 71 of Something Rad
My hand pauses right as I grip the door handle, however, Robbie’s wordless but firm shake of his head freezing me in place. I count to three while we stay in this position and before he finally shuts off the car, effectively silencing Pat Benatar.
It’s not until I’m met with deafening silence that I realize every move Robbie just made was calculated. Calculated to draw as much attention to this car as possible. All it takes is one glance around to realize just how successful he was. Every head in the parking lot is turned in our direction. My heart rate instantly spikes, pounding in my ears and bringing a flush to my cheeks. I force my eyes to shut and breathe deeply, counting to three once again.
There’s no going back. Everything will be different now.
I hear the door open to my side and let my eyes peel open. I square my shoulders, raising my chin as I turn my head to find Robbie standing in the doorway, his hand outstretched. I tilt my head back to meet his sunglasses-covered eyes. He drops his chin just slightly in a subtle nod that says nothing, but also everything.
Once I step out of this car, once everyone sees us, there’s no going back. Things will be different.
I flick my head down in just as subtle of a nod. One that nobody but Robbie would even be able to register. I start to count to three again, but decide,screw it. I reach for his hand, wrapping my fingers around his and allowing him to pull me to my feet. I feel the heat of everyone’s gazes all around us, but I don’t allow myself to indulge them.
Robbie wouldn’t.
I follow his lead, looking only at him. A few seconds go by as I try to keep my breathing under control.No one else exists. Only him.I feel myself start to wince at the thought, but force my expression to stay straight.
Suddenly, Robbie leans sharply forward, and a light gasp escapes me as I try to keep my posture firm. He ends up moving right past me, grazing my shoulder with his as he leans down to retrieve my backpack from under my seat.
“Oh,” I quietly mutter. “I guess I probably need that, huh?”
Robbie holds my backpack up by one strap so that I can easily slip it onto my shoulder. I move to reach for the other strap, but he’s already there, grabbing my wrist and threading it through the opening. “It might help,” he replies quietly with a nod when he’s in front of me again.
I automatically reach to grip my backpack straps at my shoulder as I always do out of an uncomfortable habit, but stop myself, forcing my arms to hang confidently at my sides. Robbie closes the car door, then lingers at my side for a moment, lowering his head just slightly to whisper in my ear. “I’m going to do something. Try not to slap me when I do.”
“What are you–” I start to question him through my teeth, but am immediately cut off by the shock of Robbie’s hand encircling the side of my neck, the warmth of it sending a shiver down my spine. Before I have a moment to think about what is happening, Robbie is pulling me forward and pressing his lips to my forehead. He keeps us in the position for what feels like forever, but what I know is a few seconds at most, before he somewhat abruptly pulls us apart.
Our faces are only separated by a few inches when our gazes meet once again. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, and a brick instantly feels like it settles in my stomach. Feeling like I’ll crawl out of my skin if this silence doesn’t get broken, I whisper, “I didn’t slap you.”
“Gold star or a cookie?” Robbie whispers back, mocking me.
“I still could though,” I grit.
“Good thing I’m in the perfect position to choke you.”
Blood rushes my face, heat gathering at where I now realize Robbie’s hand is still resting on my neck. He seems to glide his thumb down to the side just slightly, creating more of a gripping hold and proving his point.
“Hilarious,honey,” I mouth, a humorless grin coming to my face.
“Anything for you,baby,” Robbie replies.
We stare-off for another moment before Robbie lets out a chuckle that could even fool me. “Don’t make direct eye contact with anyone,” he mutters before turning out, exposing me–exposing us– to the world. He slings an arm over my shoulder, pulling me closer to his side. “Let the games begin,” he whispers against my ear.
And we start walking.
sixteen
ROBBIE
I find the flash of blue I’m looking for floating around in my backpack and fish the cassette out.
Journey’sFrontiers.
I open the plastic container, quickly slipping the tape into my Walkman as I make my way down the hallway. I snap the player shut and hit the play button, a grin immediately coming to my face asSeparate Waysstarts flowing through the speakers of my headphones.
Musicon, worldoff.
I reach the lockers across the hall from the entrance to the library and lean up against them, my head falling back and my smile spreading. I just keep replaying it.
My and Cooper’s performance today.
