Page 128 of When Fate Breaks
“I was going to say that I don’t understand how you couldn’t have told me,” I say.
“I was going to,” Evangeline whispers, her head shaking. “But I needed time to process it all, and I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. And once we finally were going to be together again… It was the anniversary of your dad’s death, Blake. I knew how much pain you were in already. I didn’t want to add my own crap to the load.”
I let out an incredulous scoff, running a hand through my hair. “Evangeline, this is yourlife. That’s never crap. Especially not to me.”
Evangeline’s eyes look like they’re threatening to water again. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip in response, but she instantly releases it when my gaze flicks down to it. I don’t realize how close we were standing until she takes an unsteady step back, letting herself breathe for a moment before speaking again. “I was going to tell you,” she insists. “In New York. I knew it would come up eventually. But as I’m sure you remember, that trip and its itinerary didn’t exactly go as planned.”
I don’t have to be reminded. That day is permanently burned into my memory. I’ve never felt as stupid or humiliated as I did sitting at Angelo’s Pizza for an hour and a half, bouquet of baby’s breath in hand, on a day I was once dreading but now thrilled over, waiting for the girl of my dreams to never walk through the door. I’ve never felt as crushed or defeated as I had realizing that I would never be enough for her. I had never felt more confused or conflicted as I had hearing that knock on my hotel room door after several drinks in and opening it to see a soaking wet Evangeline, attempting to explain herself and put my heart right back on the leash she’d unknowingly had it on for about fifteen years at that point. No, I’d never been more confused or conflicted than in that moment…
Except for maybe when her voice came through my phone line for the first time in six years a few weeks ago.
I swallow hard. “You should have told me.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry, Blake,” Evangeline mutters. “I was young and I was stupid and I was a little busy having the rug of everything I knew in life being ripped out from under me.”
Yeah, I know the feeling.Except Evangeline knew it. She could see what I was going through and didn’t let me go through it alone.
She turns away from me, lacing her fingers together and raising her arms to rest them above her head. Conflict swims in my chest. I feel frustration at Evangeline for not telling me, irritation with myself for acting so rashly, regret for assuming her life was perfect and throwing that in her face, anger at the both of us for letting miscommunication keep us from one another for the last six years, longing for a chance to do it all over again, and resentment at the fact that I know that will never be possible.
I watch Evangeline’s hair blowing in the wind and the steady rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathes. So many pieces of a puzzle I didn’t even know existed until tonight have clicked into place, but there’s one that’s still staring me square in the face. The one that still makes absolutely no sense for so many reasons. There’s a million things I could say in regards to what we just discussed, but, selfishly or not, I need to know this. I won’t last another minute if I don’t.
“Evangeline?” I breathe.
She pauses, turning slightly to look over her shoulder at me.
“Why are you marrying this guy?”
Evangeline drops her arms, spinning slowly to face me, an exasperated look on her face. “Seriously, Blake?”
“Yes, seriously.”
Her mouth opens like she’s about to retort, but she pauses, as if the words are caught in her throat. I take the opportunity to take a step closer to her.
“You had so many dreams. You wanted a career that you were passionate about. One that was always changing and put you in front of new people. One where you commanded the attention you damn well know you deserve.” The eye contact she had been avoiding with me falters, her gaze shifting to mine, her face unreadable. “You wanted to work hard and play harder,” I continue. “You wanted a life of adventure and dancing under the city lights. You wanted out of this town. You wanted to see the world.”
I stop then, refusing to speak until she says something. Seconds pass by before she shifts uncomfortably, her jaw set but eyes watering.
“Yeah, well, sometimes things change, Blake.”
She might have had me there for a second if it were still a few weeks ago, but now, I don’t believe that for a second. “Do they?” I question.
“Obviously,” she responds, an edge of ice to her voice.
I shake my head, exasperated by whatever it is she’s keeping from me. “I don’t understand, Evangeline. You so badly wanted out of this town and away from all the same people you grew up with and went to school with. But, instead, you’re marrying the one you hated most and settling down here for good?
“You don’t even know him,” she falters.
“But I knowyou,” I insist. “And this isn’t you.”
Evangeline rears back, looking up at me with a fire in her eyes I have yet to see. “You don’t get to say that to me. You have no idea what’s happened in the last six years. You don’t have any idea whoIam anymore.”
I know that’s not true, but, even though it hurts like hell, I don’t fight her on it. She’s finally talking to me. So I let her.
“Things were so rough after my parents split. Mom left the week after Steph and I found out, taking Ronnie with her. Suddenly, my dad had a store to run all on his own. Mom left him with nothing and took half of their money in the process. He didn’t know any of the business side of things; that was always Mom’s job. He knew the tools and he knew how to help the people. They had been a team for twenty-five years and now he was suddenly left to fend for himself at the same time he was nursing a newly shattered heart. He needed help.”
I swallow hard, not understanding how anything of this could have happened. Not understanding how a world exists where I wouldn’t have known this. Where Evangeline wouldn’t have come to me. There’s no way I could have gone through something like that without her. I want to admire her strength for it, but a voice in the back of my head keeps screaming that it’s just a reminder that I’ll most likely always need her more than she needs me.
“After New York–” Evangeline breaks off, clearing her throat. “After I completely infuriated and embarrassed my boss by storming out of my meeting with her and the executive from the New York branch that was most likely about to hire me because…because I was over an hour late to see you…”
