Page 65 of When Fate Breaks
Blake blows out a steady breath, his thumbs stroking across both of my cheeks. His eyes trail down as he closes the distance between us painfully slowly, just barely brushing my lips with his. I hear myself gasp; though it’s barely audible, Blake senses it, pausing for a moment to make sure I’m okay. My head nods of its own volition, giving Blake all the confirmation he needs. His lips come back down on mine, this time with more force, and I instantly feel myself melt and mold against him.
A warmth I’ve never known spreads from where we touch throughout my entire body. His touch is rough yet so gentle all at the same time. He kisses me like he’s starving and I’m the first source of food he’s seen in weeks; there’s an obvious excited hunger to him, but it’s as if he doesn’t know when or if he’ll see food again, causing him to hesitantly savor every last morsel.
My heart skips several beats as Blake pulls back just slightly, my eyes fluttering open to see him looking at me. I feel my walls melting away, my brain turning to goo. I’m putty in his hands, at his will, ready to take anything he’s willing to give me. His lips pull into a smirk, my chest aching between the flood of emotions and the rate of my heart, as he leans back in. I’m ready for it, the rest of the world not existing in this moment.
Until…
I feel the gears turning, my mind racing, thoughts piling up, scenarios playing out, my plans for the future no longer entirely clear. My eyes snap open just as Blake’s lips are about to meet mine again.
“Wait.”
Blake freezes, confusion in his eyes when they open to look at me. “What’s wrong?” he asks. “Are you okay?”
“We– We can’t,” my voice quavers.
Blake’s eyes dart between mine, his brows pinching. “Why not?” he whispers.
“Because–” I grab his wrists, pulling them from my face and blowing out a shaky breath. “Because it’sus, Blake.”
Blake tilts his head. “Exactly, Evangeline. It’s us. So what’s the problem?”
“You can’t just kiss me.”
“Why not?”
“Because!” I throw my hands into the air, exasperated. “This.Us,” I wave my finger back and forth between us. “This isn’t just anything.” He tilts his head further to the side, obviously confused. “You’renot justanyone. You can’t be.”
“I don’t have to be,” Blake whispers.
I swallow against the gravel in my throat. “But it’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“Because it isn’t!” I cry. “And please stop asking why not.” I run my hands through my hair.
“I just don’t understand,” he shakes his head.
“Blake, I start college in a few weeks. And you have another year of high school. And you don’t even know what you’re doing after that yet.”
“Okay?” he blinks.
“And I’m not even sure exactly what I want to do when I graduate. I mean, I know I want to do marketing, but I’m not sure what sector I want to go into. Or what field. And I haven’t decided between applying for jobs in New York City or Boston after graduation and–”
“Evangeline.”
“What?” I look up at Blake, exasperated.
“I asked you why I can’t kiss you and your reasoning is not knowing the city you might want to apply for jobs in four years from now.”
“Well, it’s important!”
“Tonight? Right now?”
My teeth worry at my bottom lip. “But that’s what I mean. You’re not just aright now. If you and I do this, we have to do it full out.”
“So, let’s do it.”
“No.”
