Page 135 of When Fate Breaks
My mouth hangs silently open. How could I have told him in New York? We both know what happened that night. Was I supposed to tell him while he was crying angry tears over being left alone on his least favorite day of the year? Left alone byme? Or should I have told him as he was practically pushing me out of his hotel room door? No, I shouldn’t have, and I wouldn’t have. I didn’t deserve his sympathy after what I did to him and frankly he seemed to be in no position to give it to me.
“Words, Evangeline.”
Goddammit, Blake.“I wanted to tell you about it, okay?” I cry, throwing my hands in the air. “Among so many other things I wanted to tell you. But you told me to leave, Blake. You said that being with me was painful. You…you told me you were done.” I shrug my shoulders, defeated. “I listened to you.”
Blake’s tongue pushes into the side of his cheek as he looks away from me, blowing a breath out of his nose before facing me again. “You never really didlistenthough, did you?” he asks, taking a step closer. “Evangeline,” he breathes, shaking his head. “I’d fought an uphill battle with you for so long. Our timing was just never right. A lot of it was due to life, but so much of it was just…you pushing me away…you holding back. Whatever the reason was, I still don’t know. But I didn’t lie when I said it was painful.”
He removes his hands from his pockets, one of them raising to rub his chest. My own chest instantly pinches in response.
“I was desperate,” he continues. “I was angry. I needed some space that night to clear my head, but I also knew somewhere deep inside of me that the only way I may ever have you…was to let you go.”
Painful realization washes over me like a tidal wave.What?
“So, yes,” Blake says, “I told you to leave. But, somewhere deep down, I always thought you’d come back. Ihadto believe you would or I never would have said it. And when I said I was done… I know you know damn well that I could never be done. Not with you.”
What was moments ago a cold empty sadness sitting within my chest is now an angry fluid heat rushing through my entire body.How could he not have told me?How could he have let me go on without knowinganyof this? I push off the table I’ve been leaning against, stomping the few steps into the middle of the greenhouse that it takes until I no longer feel like I might spontaneously combust.
“Well, that’s just great, Blake,” I grit. “For a guy so obsessed with words, you can be seriously crappy at using them.” I push my hair back from my face, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. Several long seconds of silence pass.
“Why does it matter?” he asks coolly.
I open my eyes, turning to face him. “What?”
He takes a step in my direction. “Why does it matter now, Evangeline?”
I shake my head, confused.
“Why am I here?” he asks, walking even closer as he repeats his question from earlier.
Without my heels on, his height towers me. I stand my ground, however, swallowing hard. “What do you want me to say, Blake?”
“The truth,” he replies instantly.
“Because I needed someone to fix the greenhouse,” I mutter, grinding my teeth.
He takes another step. “And?”
We stand off with one another, the tension thickening the longer I leave his question unanswered. I don’t know what he wants from me, and I don’t know why he’s doing this now. But is there any use in lying? Blake’s determined to get something out of me, so I’ll give it to him.
“And,” I grit, “maybe I didn’t hate the idea of that somebody being you.”
Blake’s expression remains unchanged as he stares down at me. His gaze burns into mine for several seconds before his shoulders fall just slightly. “Huh,” he says simply, turning away.
I let out a scoff, my neck hurting from the whiplash of this conversation. “Well, are you happy now?” I fume.
Blake turns back, a humorless chuckle escaping him. “Happy? Evangeline,” he exhales, rubbing a hand through his hair and down his face before he once more closes the distance between us. “In what world could I ever be happy when you have another man’s ring on your finger?”
I rear back, my jaw unhinging. I raise my left hand to rest on my pounding chest, but Blake’s eyes snapping straight to it (and my ring) cause me to drop it. I take a breath, trying desperately to gather my thoughts. “Blake, I… That’s not fair.”
“Whatisn’t fair?”
“You saying that to me right now. I didn’t know that you’d care. It’s been so long, and you never called. I thought by now you would have–”
“What?” Blake questions. “Gotten over you?” He shakes his head as his gaze traces my figure. “Like it’s so easy?”
I go silent once more, my fists clenching at my sides as I look away from him.
“If you don’t use your words, I’m gonna lose my mind.”
