Page 14 of Replay
“Emma, what he did to get here is unheard of. He’s here for you,” Sam adds, tapping her stick with mine. “Plus, the man looks hot as hell.”
We all start laughing at the way she says it and dramatically pinches her jersey, pretending to cool herself off. She is right though, Hawke has grown and changed since we were last together. He was wearing a hoodie, but I saw the edges of tattoos on his neck and on his knuckles. He was taller than me before, but he towers over me now, and he’s even more filled out than he was as a teenager. The only thing about him that is the same is his piercing green eyes and the shaggy dark blond hair he still wears. I wasn’t the only one to notice either. I’ve heard the talk since he arrived and even some of the girls on our team talked about it in the locker room the other day. I rushed to get dressed and immediately left the space when I started to recognize what I was feeling was jealousy. That they were talking about him and wanting to give him a private tour of the campus. I felt sick, thinking of any of them having him like I had. It wasn’t even fair to them for me to be upset. I had no hold on Hawke. I have a boyfriend.
“He wants to talk. At some point I’m going to hear him out and hopefully then we can coexist here on campus,” I tell them, my eyes darting from Sam’s to Riley’s. “After I tell Jax. I don’t think it's a big deal, but he deserves to know.”
They're both silent, watching me. No one else gets a chance to speak again though as our coach appears on the bench and starts shouting directions for our warm-up drills. A few of the girls groan, but I’m thankful. I need the distraction I get from the sport I love. I want my legs to hurt and my mind to be solely focused on winning our upcoming pre-season game. Hawke is just going to have to learn that I don’t operate on his timelines.
As if she can smell the turmoil in all of us girls tonight, our coach is brutal in practice. She skates us until my chest is burning and my legs feel rubbery. We’re all breathing hard by the time we get to the shooting drills. My arms feel so stiff, I can barely lift the puck, and when we end with a friendly scrimmage, my eyes hardly focus. My mind is silent though. I almost forget about all my worries and the tatted football player who cornered me. At least until I step out of the arena, my hair dripping wet from the showers, and wearing Jax’s team hoodie. Hawke’s eyes instantly fall on me. He fucking waited. I have two choices, I can tuck my tail and run in the opposite direction, or I can control the situation and put all of our history to bed once and for all. Taking a deep breath in and out, I head over to him. I’ll listen to what he has to say, but I refuse to let prying eyes and gossiping mouths near our business. I tap his shoulder and nod my head over to the walking trail.
“Follow me.”
emma
. . .
Hawke followsme down the path and away from the arena. He doesn’t ask questions, just stalks behind me, quiet, brooding, so much tension rolling off him that it’s almost suffocating. Once I’m satisfied that no one can witness our conversation, I turn to him, my arms crossed over my chest.
“You wanted to talk, now is your chance,” I tell him, raising my brow, refusing to budge. Even as my heart races, I keep myself calm on the outside. I can feel water from my hair dripping down my neck and into the collar of my shirt, the path creating shivers all over my skin, but I hold it together.
“Can we go to the coffee shop or something? I can take you to dinner. You have to be hungry after practice.” Hawke’s eyes travel all over me, taking in my disheveled appearance. When he mentions food, my stomach growls lightly, but enough to fill the silence between us.
“I’ll eat when I get back.” I lift my shoulders and the aggravating man chuckles.
“Still stubborn as always.” His words hold a hint of humor, but I’m more focused on his drawl and the way it makes my stomach flutter.
“Still avoiding what I want,” I retort.
Hawke leans back a little, his smirk falling back into place on his lips. He looks like the cocky version of himself that hangs outside the stadium. “What is it you want, sugar?”
Ugh, his stupid smile irritates me and I almost stomp my foot. “You’re the one who said you wanted to talk, Hawke. Now is your chance.”
He sighs before running his hands through his hair. “I want to talk to you about your prom night, Emmarys, and what happened the next morning. We need to clear up the misunderstanding you clearly have, so we can move on.”
“Move on?” I ask, my mind blanking and anger simmering through my body.
“Yes,” he practically growls and steps toward me. “Move on from you being mad at me. Or be mad at me, I don’t care. Make me explain, make me get on my knees and grovel at your feet. I’ll do whatever I have to do as long as we move on together”
My hands come up to my face before I run them through my hair, making my messy bun even crazier. This man makes me absolutely unhinged with how nonchalantly he talks about that night and how he left the next morning as if I should just get over it.
“I listened to you and your explanations then, Hawke. I gaveeverythingto you because I loved you. And you said nothing to me about our future. I told you my plans changed and you walked out of the room without talking more about it.”
His eyes flash and his jaw ticks. “I had to leave. That call from Falcon was that my grandfather had ordered a family brunch. I thought it was a trap to catch me where I wasn’t supposed to be. He used the meal to remind us all that he owned us and to stayin line. I didn’t want to leave like that. I thought we had more time to talk, to cuddle, to fucking get continental breakfast or something and plan our next steps. Running out was not what I wanted, Emmarys.”
My heart squeezes painfully in my chest. I know he’s being truthful, but it doesn’t stop the pain I went through or the worry of what could have happened to him, or to my family if anyone found out. There had been so much uncertainty. “I waited for you this time. I gave you time to contact me, to reach out, to give me a smoke signal about what I should do but again there was nothing.”
“I couldn’t risk it. If anything happened to your family, I knew you’d never forgive me. I’d rather you be angry at me for leaving. When you got to campus that fall, I had every intention of making it up to you. But you lied about wanting to be with me in Texas. You came here,” he accuses and that band of anger inside me snaps.
“Because I didn’t know that’s what was happening! You broke up with me, Hawke. You left. You didn’t promise me you’d see me again. Graduation was coming up and what was I supposed to do? Follow my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me in a phone call, to Texas and hope you’d be happy to see me? Show up like a fucking stalker? I made a choice that was best for me.” I step closer to him, letting him feel the way red hot fury rolls off of me. My hands are shaking and tears spring to my eyes.
Hawke is on me in the next moment, his arms wrapping around my body, pulling me into him. I hadn’t even realized I was trembling everywhere. How long had I been holding this in? I tense in his hold, but he just squeezes me tighter, pressing his lips to the top of my head, my temples, my forehead.
“Shh, sweets, it's okay,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t tell you. I wanted to tell you then, I wanted to call you on my birthday, but I couldn’t risk it. I neededto get revenge for everything he’d done to me. As soon as it could be announced, I hopped on a plane here. I don’t give a fuck if we’re in Texas or Michigan, Em, I just need to be wherever you are.”
His words comfort me even when they shouldn’t. Having his body pressed next to mine this way shouldn’t make my heart race either. He isn’t mine anymore. Gasping I pull back, out of his arms and put distance between us. Shame floods my veins and my face flushes.
“I have a boyfriend.”
“Repeat that,” Hawke demands, stepping closer to me again. Our eyes clash and I can see his body tense. He takes another step, his body coiled like a predator.
