Page 43 of Replay
My cheeks flame pink, and my lips tingle. Glancing at my friends I can tell they are absolutely no help to my cause. Sam and Isla are hugging each other and laughing, while Leif just shakes his head with a good-natured wink at me and drinks a sip of his water. I think I lost the bet. Even though I didn’t really participate by the rules, I still lost, and losing wasn’t so bad.
The rest of the game no one says one bad word to me or asks me any ridiculous questions. Yes, the kiss was caught on film and it’s already on social media in a TikTok video, but no one has said an unkind word or criticized Hawke’s ability to play and have a relationship. By the end of the fourth quarter, our team wins, 30-16, and none of the fans care about the kiss or the fact that I’m Hawke’s girlfriend.
After the game, I head home with Sam who drops me off at my apartment. The place is quiet and I realize how much I don’t like being by myself anymore. Hoping to add some background noise, I click on the TV and pull up ESPN, waiting for anything bad. Michigan’s win is highlighted but nothing else airs. The tension in my chest eases some and I feel more relaxed when I head into my room, taking off my jeans and shirt. The purple catches my eye as it peeks out of my closet and an idea forms. I finish stripping down before grabbing the jersey and sliding it over my naked body. Right as the material slides into place, there’s two strong, quick knocks at my door.
I bite my lip in anticipation while hurrying to the door and flipping the lock, knowing the sound of that knock in my heart by now. The door opens and Hawke is standing there, dressed in sweats, and his hair is still wet from his shower. It's his eyes,though, that heat and turn molten as they graze me from my head, over my body and down my bare legs to my toes.
“Fuck, sugar, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” he growls, kicking my door open with one foot while scooping me into his arms and carrying us into the living area. I laugh, my arms winding around his neck, my legs hitching up around his hips.
Hawke’s hands roam over my body and I see it in his eyes when it finally clicks. He groans. “Are you naked underneath my jersey, Emma?”
My cheeks blush and I bite my lip, nodding. “I wanted to pay up after being too scared to carry out the bet.”
Hawke’s gaze softens and he lowers me to the ground before cupping my face and placing a warm, slow, soft kiss on my lips. “You never have to be scared with me, Em. I will protect you from anyone, including myself and the attention that comes with being me.”
“I never want to be the thing that is bad for you, Hawke. It felt like high school all over again. I was scared that everyone would tear you apart for being with me, because of our differences. It brought me back to when you left and I felt like it was because I wasn’t good enough.” My body physically shudders in his hold.
Hawke drops his hands, pulling me into his chest. I can feel his heartbeat against my cheek. I let myself lean into him, absorb his warmth and breathe in his scent that calms me.
“I love you, Emmarys. I never left because I wanted to or because you were bad for me. I was forced to leave and to stay away. I spent years thinking about you and plotting ways to get back to you. If anything, you are the reason I am where I am at in my football career.” His arms tighten around me, and I feel his lips brush a kiss on the top of my head. His words warm my insides and I know without a doubt that Hawke has my heart again. I don't think I can tell him yet; we still have so manyobstacles to overcome, but I can feel it. Or maybe he just never gave it back and it’s always belonged to him. Either way, I’m in love with Hawke Sheppard.
“I want to be strong for you. Brave enough to face anything.” I shift out of his hold and meet his gaze.
Hawke watches me for a long time, his hands gently running up and down my arms. “You’re already the strongest woman I know, Em. I’ll wait forever for any part of you that you’ll give me.”
Gah, this man! My lips tremble, but I manage to lift on my tiptoes to kiss him. Hawke grins and his hands wrap around my waist.
“Now about this jersey…”
My brow cocks. “What about it?”
“I think it’s only fair that you wear it to the next game.” He crooks his finger into the top right by my collarbone and tugs on it, pulling me until we’re chest to chest again.
“Just the jersey? Exactly like this?” I tease him and watch as his eyes widen.
Hawke’s jaw clenches and he shakes his head. “No one but me gets to see this version.”
Giggling at his caveman attitude, I wrap my arms around his neck and lean into him. His hands automatically wrap around me and he leans down, letting me kiss him again. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
Hawke scoffs, “You know we don’t sleep apart anymore, Emmarys. Are you ready for bed now?”
I don’t even get to nod before my mouth stretches with a yawn. The day has been long and eventful. I’m ready to slide into bed and cuddle with his big body next to mine. I start to yawn again when Hawke laughs and scoops me up bridal style, carrying me to my room. “I guess that's a yes.”
hawke
. . .
The bus hitsanother pothole and Riggs groans next to me in the window seat. He’s still sleeping, his ear pods in and mostly unconscious to the world. I shift in my seat, glancing out the window, around my sleeping friend, again, anxious to be back. It was our first away game since last week's home game where I publicly claimed Emmarys in front of everybody, and I just want to be close to her.
All week she’s made huge strides in being more comfortable with me touching her in public, to the point she even reached for my hand first when I brought her breakfast the other morning. She also hasn’t been glancing around to see if anyone is watching us when I’ve kissed her between practices or when I meet her at the end of our days before going home to sleep. It’s been perfect; the life I could have been having for the last two years if I hadn’t fucked up the night of her prom and left without being able to clarify with her what I wanted. I could have been cuddling her around campus for years. There’s been so much wasted time, and even though I can’t get it back, I’m determined to make the most of where we are now that I finally have her next to me. Partof me thinks she keeps expecting me to quit taking care of her or to be gone one day, but I make sure I’m there. I’m always there no matter what.
With her own schedule and the height of her hockey season picking up, she can’t make it to my away games and I’m okay with it. After the big win against our conference rival, we’re all riding high from the game, and for once it's hitting me. I have a lot of extra adrenaline and energy to spend and I know exactly who I want to spend it on.
No one on the team will sway my opinion not to go out partying tonight. For once I don’t have to put on the obligatory mask and mingle. I just want Emma. I’ll even stay at her small, shitty apartment if she wants to as long as I get to hold her in my arms and sleep. With the away game today, the team spent last night in a hotel room, and it drove me crazy knowing I wasn’t with her. We talked before bed but nothing could stop the angry, twisted, obsession in my soul about having to see her, to feel her next to me. I can’t be away from her. I almost ordered an Uber to drive me back, but Riggs stopped me on time, reminding me of the bigger picture, the long-term goal. I want a future with Emmarys; I want to give her everything and live out my NFL dream with her by my side. She’ll wear the diamond ring I buy her and when she’s ready to be done playing hockey, I’ll give her babies and the house with the pool, a garden and animals that she’s always wanted. Just thinking of her glowing and growing our babies makes my dick twitch. I muffle my groan and shift in my seat. It’s far off in the future because I know my girl has her own dreams to chase too, but when it does happen, when she’s begging me to give her a baby…I can’t wait. I don’t know many twenty-two-year-olds who think this way, but I don’t give a fuck. I’ve been gone for this girl for years and now I have the chance to indulge in my little obsession.
It's close to seven by the time our bus rolls back into the parking lot on campus. I help the team haul our equipment to the locker rooms and throw my jersey in the wash pile. Coach sits us all down for a pep-talk and lets us know that tomorrow's practice will be just conditioning, no scrimmaging. There's a few grunts and cheers from the team and my lips twitch. When he goes on about our team effort in the victory, I feel multiple sets of eyes on me. The last three years, this team hasn’t won once against the team we played today. This win today is because of what myself and Riggs are bringing to the table. They know it. The coaches know it. The talent may have always been here, but now it's being tapped into and developed. Someone who knows how to use that talent is helping shape the team. I refuse to fail and the team is finally starting to understand how Texas won so many games the last few years. By the time the meeting is over, I grab my keys, say goodbye to Riggs, and head for my truck still parked in the lot.
I just want to get to Emmarys. I want to eat, sleep and fuck and maybe not even in that order. The need to just see her is above all else. I round the corner and head down the stadium steps when I see him. Jax Kellan is leaning against a bench, watching my approach. My jaw clenches. Not since their break up have I seen the guy, not that I’ve cared. Emmarys is mine just like she always has been.
