Page 33 of Replay
After eating a quick dinner at home, I grab the bag of her favorite Blow-Pop suckers from my pantry and continue tying them together to make the perfect candy bouquet. I have one ready for every away game she has for her upcoming season. While Emmarys appreciates flowers, she doesn’t like to get them. That and she usually kills them by forgetting to water them. Candy bouquets are safer and she can enjoy them while on the road.
I need to do something to get back in her good graces after our time in the library. She’s pulled away again, avoiding me. I should give her space, except I don’t want her to think that she can get away from me. I’m in this with her, ready to play the long game.
By the time I’m ready to climb into bed for the night, my phone vibrates.
FALCON: Just so you know you’re trending on social media. The “Ruthless QB.”
RIGGS: Some of the team is adjusting to the new information.
ME: Can you two be helpful here? How do I shut it down?
RIGGS: I don’t think that's how it works. We’re not exactly able to shut down every person who is posting it.
FALCON: You’re better off just embracing the title, brother.
ME: Ruthless QB? Fuck that shit.
FALCON: I don’t know. It kind of suits you.
RIGGS: Please, no. That's the last thing we need here.
ME: I’m not embracing the stupid title. Is there a way you can spin it so that it doesn’t hurt Emmarys?
FALCON: The ladies in the comments are already calling it romantic. It's the guys who are second-guessing your playing ability because of her.
RIGGS: Our own kind is so stupid sometimes.
ME: Shut down anything negative toward her.
FALCON: Already on it. You should also consider maybe posting her or something about you two. Just saying.
RIGGS: Before the draft?
ME: The draft doesn’t matter when it comes to her. Just wait and see how the season plays out. People will shut up when they realize I can win a Natty and get the girl.
I turn my phone to silent and set it on my nightstand. I trust my brother to do his thing and I know they’ll both back me up. The one person I do not want anything negative to affect is Emmarys. I need her to trust me, to know she’s it for me and that I’m hers completely so that when the media fires off shit, we can both let it roll off of us. I’ve worked too hard to get her, some stupid social media posts aren’t going to tear her from my grasp. I might have to amp up my plans to keep her, to tie her to me forever. I just hope she’ll believe in our love enough not to hold it against me.
emma
. . .
The doorof the apartment slams shut behind me and I don’t even have it in me to care how loud it may be for anyone else. My hands are shaking as I set down the perfect burrito bowl and chips and queso from my favorite Mexican restaurant that showed up, hand delivered to me as I left my evening class. Hawke strikes again. His stalker behavior only seems to be ramping up. I should be running from him, reporting it even, but right now, looking at the delicious queso, all I can think about is how well he knows me. I’m not sure how he found out my favorite restaurant or what I ordered, but my stomach appreciates the meal I’m about to eat. And that's the biggest kicker of all. None of Hawke’s surprises and gifts have been meant to strong arm me into talking or to remind me of the past. It's my favorite foods, my favorite morning coffees, the afternoon smoothies I need but rarely have time for before practices. It’s the fact that my skates were removed from my bag without my knowing, my blades sharpened and new, bright pink laces put in. It's the way an extra stack of notecards were put in my bag and someone dropped off the first page of notesI missed in my morning class on Tuesday because I accidentally overslept.
Without Hawke interfering, I could have fixed all these things on my own like I have been doing since he disappeared two years ago, but with him doing it all silently for me, I feel like I’m being taken care of. And it's messing with my head. All he’s asked of me this week is the repeated date question. I keep turning him down, justifying that I need time. I just broke up with someone and deep inside I know a date with Hawke is more than just a date. My phone suddenly vibrates in my hand. I look down to see it’s our girl group chat.
RILEY: Make him take you out somewhere nice. :)
SAM: Don’t listen to her, she's a romantic now. Do what feels right for you.
I roll my eyes and drop the phone next to the burrito bowl. My stomach rumbles, knowing it's being neglected and exactly what I’m planning to put in it thanks to my nose. “Shit,” I mutter to myself and dive for the plastic fork in the bag and pop the top off. The first bite is heaven and the second gives me a mini orgasm. Hawke does not play fair. How can I ignore him when I get delicious meals like this after nights where my brain is screaming from class and my body is exhausted from practice. I have no idea how I survived last season without this care and attention. Looking back I realize I just did what I had to do. I didn’t have anyone caring if I ate between classes. Except I was dating Jax then, and not once did he do anything this considerate.
Frowning at my own thoughts, I sit up straighter in my chair. How long does this last? Until Hawke gets what he wants? Untilhe’s tired of trying? What happens when his time here is done and he’s drafted, do I just fade into the background again? My mind is on a warpath to keep me in limbo while my body just wants to relax and rest. It's beyond frustrating, and right as I’m about to spiral, a knock sounds at my door.
My head pops up and looking around, I notice for the first time how empty it is here. Biting my lip I walk over to the door, and there's another knock, strong, sure, and whoever it is is not going away. I open the door and come face to face with the man of my recent obsession.
Sighing, I lean against the door, my arms crossing in front of my chest. “What are you doing here, Hawke?”
His brow furrows, and he glares down at me. “Did you even look to see who it was or ask before opening the door?”
