Page 43 of Between the Lines

“What?”

Footsteps approached, crunching across gravel, Don’s mellow tone rumbling away beneath the sound, and, over it, drowning everything out, a grating south London bark.

“Theodore,” his father said, filling the doorway, his arms folded across his chest. “You look shagged out, son. Good night, was it?”

* * *

Luca watched uneasily as Theo and his father followed Don outside for the grand tour. Eddie Wishart was a short, hard-nosed man with a frank, assessing gaze very different to his son’s, and with the look of a man who meant business.

Luca was tempted to go with them, but Theo’s urgent headshake had suggested that would be a Bad Idea. Why, Luca wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like the tense lines appearing around Theo’s eyes. It provoked a protective instinct in him that might have made him overrule Theo’s warning, had that same protective instinct not scared the crap out of him. After last night, Luca was all over the place emotionally and a little time away from Theo might help him get some damn perspective. Besides, he wanted to check on his mom.

So, instead of trailing after Theo like a lovesick puppy, he headed into the cozy family apartment where he’d grown up. He found Jude on the sofa in the living room, propped up on pillows. Her eyes were closed and a magazine lay open on her lap, one hand resting on it. She looked frailer than usual and his stomach twisted in concern.

But then she opened her eyes and smiled, looking more like herself as she held out her hand. “Luca... This is a nice surprise.”

“Don said you’re still not feeling good. How are you?”

“Oh, alright.” She sighed, pushing herself up higher on the pillows. “Don makes such a fuss. I’m tired and a bit frazzled, that’s all.”

She did look pallid, now he looked closely. “Have you seen a doctor?”

“I don’t need a doctor, Luca. I need a vacation.”

“But still...” He took a seat in the nearest armchair, taking her hand in his. “Maybe a checkup? You could have an iron deficiency or something.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “And when did you get your medical degree, Dr. Moretti?”

“C’mon,” he chided, squeezing her hand. “It wouldn’t hurt.”

“Good heavens, you’re fussing as bad as Don. I’m just tired, Luca.”

Jude had always been stubborn, so he let it go, knowing a lost cause when it slapped him in the face. “At least let me get you something. Green tea? That’s supposed to be good for you, right?”

“I’mfine,” she said and then, more hesitantly, “but...will you tell me about the wedding? Dee’s already texted a dozen pictures. It looks beautiful.”

Dropping her hand, Luca sat back in his chair, uncertain. Last night had been special, and bewildering, and he still felt emotionally raw. He wasn’t certain he wanted to share his memories with anyone, least of all his mom. Because when he remembered the wedding all he saw were Theo’s bright eyes shining in the twinkling lights, the utter yearning with which he’d watched Josh and Finn perform together, and how right he’d felt in Luca’s arms when they’d danced—and later, when they’d made love with such passion. His heart still felt tender, and he needed to protect it from anyone’s disapproval.

“I did want to go, Luca,” Jude said softly. “I would have gone without Don, but I just wasn’t feeling right...”

He nodded because he couldn’t get into Don’s toxic beliefs right now. It hurt at the best of times and today, with his emotions so enflamed, he didn’t trust himself anywhere near the subject. So instead, reluctantly, he said, “I’m not such a fan of weddings, but I guess it was good. They had a bunch of live bands and all these different kinds of food—like food stands, I guess?—and, uh, Josh and Finn got up and played. I don’t think I knew how good Josh was on the piano.”

“Well, he’s a professional pianist now, Dee says. He plays on records and things.”

Luca smiled atrecords. “They, uh, looked very happy together,” he said, edging toward what mattered most. “Very in love.”

Jude fell silent. He could feel her awkwardness and turned to look out the window. Coming here had been a mistake. Talking to her about any of this was impossible when her marriage to Don cast everything in the shadow of his abhorrent opinions. But, Christ, what he’d felt for Theo last night turned him inside out. That anyone could think it wrong made him want to scream. Taking a deep breath, he watched the wind ruffle through the leaves, mottling the sunlight filtering into the room, and tried to put a lid on his feelings.

“You know I want that for you, too, don’t you?” Jude’s quiet voice blew through his attempt at composure. “Love like that. A marriage.”

Luca couldn’t reply, overwhelmed by memories of last night: the fluting ecstasy he’d felt as Theo came apart, and the undertow of terror at his own vulnerability. A terror that still lingered. His heart raced, mouth dry, fingertips tingling.Is this love?It broke his heart that he dared not ask his mom, that he didn’t trust her with the question.

Jude misinterpreted his silence. “Even if it’s with a man, Luca, I—”

“Evenif?” Fuck that. “Mom, it wouldonlybe with a man.”

Her mouth tightened. “I know. I didn’t mean—”

“I’m not going to magically turn straight!”

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