Page 19 of The Cowboy Takes a Nanny
What the—
Leo strode to Ella and reached for his daughter, he said nothing until, Mia clutched to his chest, he’d killed the music. Only then did he turn back to her. “What’s going on here?”
Unfortunately, Mia, reacting to his tone, dropped her lip, her arms reaching back to Ella. “Mama!”
Shaking her head at Leo, Ella pulled Benny close. “I don’t think this is a discussion we should have in front of these two, but I need to make it clear this is the first and only time she has ever done that, and given the opportunity, I would have corrected her.”
He said nothing, his thoughts whirling as an army of emotions stabbed at him from all sides—guilt that he had to find Mia a substitute mother. Anger that he hadn’t seen it coming; but more telling, was the frustration of admitting it had felt right! Ella was a mother to Mia in every other way except she hadn’t given birth to her.
And it hit hard.
Benny’s quavering little voice filled the loaded silence. “Mama?”
Of course, Mia adored the boy. She copied everything he did—the good and not so good. It was natural she would imitate his speech. It was how kids learned—by emulating. But had this really been the first time?
Did it matter?
Yes, it did! But only if Ella hadn’t corrected. He hugged his daughter closer, soothed her, silently begged forgiveness that she didn’t have a mama of her own. His anger ebbed as he took in Ella’s pallor, but also her straight back and determined stance. She wasn’t going to be cowed by his reaction.
“Leo, if you want to discuss this further, I suggest we do so after dinner. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Benny and I will go and begin the preparations.”
“Stop!”
Whirling to him her eyes were wide. “I beg your pardon?” Indignation frosted every word.
Leo swallowed; he deserved her tone. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bark at you. I apologize. I just …” he stalled, wishing like hell that he had furniture. That they could sit and discuss it. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I overreacted. It was stupid.” He hauled in air. “And I get it, it just took a minute. Or ten. But I get that Mia was only copying Benny.”
“You’d rather they weren’t together?” She didn’t try to hide her indignation.
“No! I mean, they’re great together and she seems to be developing more skills since they’ve been playing together. He’s good for her, and that’s great; a huge bonus. He provides kind of company that you and I can’t. I’m glad they’re together.”
“But?”
He sighed. “There is no but, really. It just hit hard, brought up a load of stuff. I’m sorry. I mean it, Ella. It was a dumb thing to get upset over.” He wasn’t sure if the guilt he felt about missing out on the first months of Mia’s life was what had him so afraid, but he wanted the best for his daughter, and he knew Ella was just that.
He watched some of the tension leave her. “It isn’t, and I wouldn’t be happy if Benny called some random man Daddy.” she said slowly, “I’m upset that you believe I would allow it to happen.”
He brushed his free hand through his already mussed hair. “You’re dead right. It was what I was thinking and I’m owning that. I apologize for that as well, because I do trust you, Ella. Trust you completely. And you gotta know, trust isn’t something I find easy. I’m a slow burn. But you’ve had it from the start if I’m truthful, and I should have listened when that part of me doing its best to remind me of that.” When she didn’t answer, he added cautiously, “So, are we good?”
The lump he watched her swallow must have been a stand-out because it sure hadn’t been easy, but she managed and his admiration for her slid up another notch. But it did nothing to ease the tension holding his body taut. And still he waited.
“Ella?”
“Oh Leo…” If anything, her crisp English accent was even crisper. “I’m always good. We British pride ourselves on it.”
He admired her attempt at levity, but it lacked her usual finesse, and it worried him. Still, he nodded, forced a smile. “Good to know.”
He was grateful when Benny pulled away from his mother and ran to his soft-filled soccer ball, running back to land it at Leo’s feet. “Kick the ball?”
The little guy was so cute with his hopeful expression, that there was no way Leo could refuse. And to Benny’s delight, Leo tapped the ball across the room.
Grabbing it again, Benny looked expectantly at his mother. “Play, Mama! All play! Pwease?”
Her eyes flicked to Leo, and he saw her agitation melt until only the love she had for these children remained.
In his arms Mia struggled to get down to join the fun. Keeping his eyes on Ella, he lowered Mia to the floor. Breath held he waited, his chest relaxing only as each of her words reached him.
“Play? Why not, gorgeous boy. Let’s show these mountain folk how real football is played.”
