Page 46 of The Cowboy Takes a Nanny
He wasn’t going to make this easy. Strangely, that didn’t daunt her as much as it strengthened her resolve. “Precisely. And do feel free to ask questions; it may make this ordeal less painful for us both.”
She noted that one eyebrow rose, acknowledging her hit, and she drew in air, settled back. “You already know how Emile and I met, and that we were best friends. To be clear, in an answer to a question you once asked if I loved him. I did, and I still do. However, I was never in love with him nor he with me.”
“But you married him?”
“Leo, you were also prepared to make a life with Hope had she lived, and yet you have admitted you weren’t really in love with her.”
His eyes narrowed. “The circumstances were slightly different.”
“Were they? Wasn’t your own motivation made for the sake of a child? My decision was not all that different, as I hope you’ll see. Admittedly, it was slightly more bizarre. Unconventional. It was the terms of succession that drove us, Emile and me, to do what we did.”
He frowned but he was still with her, still listening.
“Often times in large wealthy families, antiquated conditions placed on inheritance issues are passed down and can’t be broken. Without going into the legalities, if Emile had acknowledged Benny as his illegitimate son, both he and Benny would have been disinherited. And to his credit, from the first, Emile had no intention of abandoning his child. It’s complicated, but his grandfather’s lawyers insisted he marry immediately.”
“Surely they meant that he was to marry the mother?”
“Obviously, but she wasn’t interested in either the child nor marrying. She was trying to make it in the music industry and at that time a husband and a child weren’t part of the wild image she was perpetrating. If Emile wasn’t prepared to take the child she threatened to dump it in a home. Her words. She was paid exorbitantly by Emile and that satisfied her.” Ella shrugged. “Of course there were other solutions, solutions Emile couldn’t condone, but fortunately for all of us, despite her lifestyle Vivianne had been raised with strict religious beliefs and continued with the pregnancy. Anyway, to answer your question, the lawyers had found a way to circumvent the conditions of the will, but only if Emile was married prior to the birth.”
He was shaking his head. “But why you and why did you agree?”
Her head rocked back at the ill-timed irony of what she was about to say. “Trust. We knew each other so well. Emile knew he could trust me with the truth, and I’d never hold it against Benny. Emile and I had bonded over our having lost mothers and being raised in dysfunctional family situations. We’d both decreed that if ever we had children, their upbringing would be so different. He also knew that one of the things I longed for was a child, children of my own—one day—knew I regularly volunteered for charitable groups who cared for abandoned children. He had me the minute he told me about the mother’s threat. I’d never really ever been able to say no to Emile, and on top of tapping into something so close to my heart, he’d also caught me at a very vulnerable time. My relationship with my father had broken down, my only remaining family member, and yes, I was feeling very alone. The thought of building a family with Emile, my best friend, felt like a lifeline at the time.”
“So …?”
“Emile and I married, quickly and quietly. What might have been a society wedding of the year was the best kept secret of the year. Not that it concerned me. We went on an extended honeymoon to cover the fact that I wasn’t pregnant as Emile was determined that Benny never be afforded the term bastard; and we hoped we’d be able to pull it off. Not easy when you’re the heir to a huge fortune, but amazingly there are still some places in the world that the rest of the population hasn’t yet bothered with. Vivianne, Benny’s birth mother, came with us. I was the one who helped her navigate her pregnancy, helped her keep it quiet, organized press releases about her going into seclusion to finish her latest album to cover for her public absence in the last months.”
His face muscles worked in accord, eyebrows up, mouth down, as he considered her revelations. “Emile helped? He was—involved?”
It was her turn to offer a wry smile. “I had no delusions nor expectations where Emile was concerned, though I did have hope that with time and maturity he’d become the man I knew he could be. He was spoiled, as was Alphie. Don’t get me wrong, they were both lovely men, kind and gentle—generous. But basically selfish, a selfishness born out of thoughtlessness rather than anything nasty.”
“Feels like you’re giving him a pass, Ella.”
She felt a tiny bit like that herself at that moment. It was the first time he’d called her by name since this had begun earlier that day, and it felt like a crack of sunshine had squeezed its way through a solid bank of clouds.
“Probably. But this is really about Benny now,” she continued, “and my need for you to know how I feel about him, and maybe why…” She sighed, continued. “From the very beginning I thought of him as my child. I was in the birthing suite with Vivianne. Emile said it wasn’t his scene, couldn’t handle it.” She ignored the irritated shuffle across from her; she knew Leo would have been at Hope’s side without hesitation. “And I was the first one to ever hold Benny.” Her voice broke as those memories flooded back. His little eyes, so dark and searching, screwed up and not overly impressed with his new environment. The fierce surge of protection that flooded her heart. The gratitude. And the stabbing pain for this tiny vulnerable being who, at that moment, had only one person who truly cared for him.
“It was the most amazing feeling,” she continued, not hiding the tears rolling freely down her face. She stopped fighting the well of emotion that needed to be set free, felt the tight band across her chest loosen its grip. Clearing her throat, she added, “I made Benny a promise that day; I promised that no matter what, I would be with him always, I would keep him safe, love him … Give him all the love he deserved and more. And I’ve k-kept that promise.” She eyed him directly, not allowing him to pull away. “And no matter what it takes, I’ll continue to do that, Leo.” She held his gaze. “I may have regrets about how I have handled the situation here with you, but make no mistake, I have no regrets about what I have done, or what I will continue to do, with regards to Benny’s welfare.”
Maybe his organs were being difficult as well, because an obviously pent-up breath arrived on a noisy whoosh. “So, let me get this straight. You have no legal claim to Benny? Yet you just took him? I’m not even going to ask how you got him into a foreign country—”
“There may have been a sleight of hand involved. Emile’s lawyers—now Benny’s—stand to lose a considerable fortune if they lost the right to stand trust over his affairs until he is twenty-five. They know I have no interest or claim to the money and are very squarely on our side.”
He shook his head. “Emile didn’t make any move to have you appointed Benny’s guardian or—?”
“He did, as a matter of fact. Had the lawyers draw up adoption papers, but Emile being Emile, I thought he didn’t get around to signing them. There was always tomorrow with Emile.” Her voice dropped. “Until there wasn’t. Quite literally.”
“You thought?”
“My father came to share that Emile had signed them. For some reason, he used different lawyers, who knows why.”
“Sounds like a bit of an idiot.”
“Emile was far from an idiot.” She saw Leo building to argue the point and got in first. “Emile loved life and hated missing a moment of it. Alphie was the same and together they were the other’s worst enemy when it came to taking responsibility. Businesswise they were fine, it was the things they considered to be the minutiae that suffered. They both shunned responsibility unless it was work related. That’s why I was surprised and thrilled when he stepped up to claim Benny.”
“I figure I could probably fill in the next bit, and I’m not going to like it, but I need you to tell me the rest anyway.”
“I won’t speak badly of him, Leo, and I know deep down he would have eventually settled down and been a proper father—and he was always gentle with Benny when he was around, and he was very proud.”
