Page 44 of The Cowboy Takes a Nanny
Fear threatened to cut off her air supply, her heart was pumping too fast. Turning back to her father she struggled to get out her words, wanting to swallow them back, wanting to stop time.
“Dadd … Father, what have you done?” Her whispered question carried all the fear and dread surging through her.
Her father smiled. “Don’t look so panicked, darling, it’s all going to be all right now. Emile had started proceedings, and we’ve located Benjamin’s mother and she’s signed the papers. It’s all been taken care of. No one can take him away.”
“What the—? Benjamin’s mother?”
Leo. At first, she couldn’t bear the incredulity in his voice. Terrified of what she might see in his face, but that had never really been her way.
She sensed he’d risen to his feet and bracing herself she turned, for the first time feeling dwarfed by his towering presence. “Leo, I was going to t—” Her words died. “I can expl—”
But he was shaking his head, his eyes bleak. “Save it, Lady Gabriella.” Tilting his head back, he scanned the ceiling, huffed out a self-deprecating laugh that broke her heart. Finally, he returned her gaze. “Just one question. Was anything true? What we had? You and me? Was any of that true? Or have you just been playing a role this whole time? Mia? Was she a pawn in some game you’re playing too? Are we just a stopgap until your inheritance came through, and then you’d cut out?” Once more he shook his head. “Well done. I almost feel like I should applaud you. You sure had me suckered.”
He didn’t give her a chance to respond, just turned and strode toward the mud room, where she knew he’d grab his coat and boots. And that hat.
In the silence that followed she wanted to run after him, but Alicia snagged her arm. “Let him cool down, sweetheart.”
“Oh my dear daughter … When you said there were no secrets, I—we, assumed he knew it all. Darling, we’re so sorry. I had no idea you and he—”
Taking charge, Alicia cut him off. “Time for that later, Nicolas. Right now, we have a mission to complete, so go let the lawyer into the house before she freezes—and hopefully something can be salvaged from all this.”
*
Only one thing could take Leo back to the house that night—his daughter. If not for her, he wasn’t sure where he’d have gone, but it wouldn’t have been back to the place that had finally started to feel like a home. He could not put himself through even more torture. Looking into Ella Staunton Hewes’s face would only reopen the wound of her duplicity all over again. He wouldn’t do it to himself if he’d had a choice.
The sucker punch to that resolve was that he didn’t have a choice. He had responsibilities—but even knowing he was only delaying the inevitable, he’d checked if Evie could give them some extra time. He’d then saddled up and ridden as hard, and fast as was possible on tricky, partially frozen terrain. Not outrunning all that pent-up emotion; burning it up.
But it appeared that nothing was going to blow the last hour out of his head. What had happened?
It almost felt like he’d fallen butt-first into an alternate universe. Ella was not Benny’s mother. The truth burned so deep and hot he swore he could taste the ash of her lies on his tongue. The knot in his gut tightened. Visions of Ella’s face swam before his eyes and he shut them tight, grateful that horses, smarter than their riders, knew where to go.
Dammit all! He didn’t want her in his head; didn’t want to care, hating that her betrayal cut so deep. Hating more the questions that lined up, taunted him. How could she have lied like that? And been so convincing? And how did something like that even happen? How does someone just assume parenthood? Had Ella abducted Benny?
The thought started a sick churning that threatened to empty his stomach, and he slowed Boomer to a trot.
He’d thought he knew her. Hell, just the day before he’d been questioning his hard-held resolve to not allow any woman into his life. Even wondered if they could make a life together. Him and Ella. She, Gabriella Staunton Hawes, had broken through his shields as if they were made of nothing more than gossamer. Though maybe that said more about himself than about her. Maybe he wasn’t as strong-willed as he’d believed he was.
No. As quickly as it appeared he doused the thought.
This wasn’t about him, it was about her.
He’d trusted her. Put his daughter in her care! Shared things he hadn’t shared with anybody.
Thoughts of his daughter brought yet another swift kick to his gut. Mia adored Ella and Benny. How was she supposed to cope with them gone from their lives? His head went to the recent struggle he’d had when Mia had kept refusing to allow him to put on her outside boots, insisting on the fairy slippers Ella had bought her. Hell, she wasn’t even one! The kid couldn’t even differentiate between the right and wrong shoes, how was she supposed to cope with the emotional loss of Ella and Benny not being there every day with her?
Because that’s where this was heading, to Ella and Benny leaving.
He’d been patient; he’d tried to understand—rationalized her fear of revealing Benny’s status; her fear of losing him. Tried to understand her decision not to share her own station in life.
But where did he draw the line?
When was enough, enough?
What else had she lied about?
He swiped a hand over his face, felt the moisture and glanced up. Snow. It had been clear for days, and it wouldn’t be much, but it was enough to make him turn back. Funnily enough he hadn’t for one moment expected that Ella would be gone when he returned, and he didn’t want to examine that too closely because it almost smacked of trust. But the truth was, he knew in his gut that even if she’d decided to leave without his input, she wouldn’t go without saying good-bye.
And that in itself didn’t gel with what he’d learned about Ella. From the beginning he’d known she was strong, not in a pushy or manipulative way … So, in what way? Morally? He’d have definitely said that before today, but now he didn’t know what to think. She certainly wasn’t a woman to be pushed around and maybe that’s why he knew she’d be there when he returned.
