Page 36 of The Cowboy Takes a Nanny
“Yeah, right. You take care and take care of that lady and those kids. She’s pretty special.”
As JD drove away, Leo stood and watched until the truck turned out of sight. Yep, Ella Staunton Hawes, was special. One in a million. And special in more ways than his family could even guess. Lady Gabriella Staunton Hawes. The revelation was still trying to work its way into his psyche. But just maybe after that nebulous chat with his brother, it wasn’t as hard to negotiate.
JD was right. Ella was special, and she was special in all the same ways she was special before he learned about her name. The title meant nothing to her; he was beginning to get that. But he was man enough to realize what had thrown him so far off kilter. Was she completely out of his league? That he’d never fit into a life like she’d experienced? He could give her a comfortable life, more than comfortable, but living like that in that lofty echelon? It would never be for him and the thought of her going back to that life, to the life Benny’s heritage promised—living without him? That burned and he felt the sour taste of loss.
But why?
They’d both committed to a cooperative friendship. No more … So, why the all the beetles in his belly over the chasm between their social statuses?
And the other issue? Keeping her child safe, having that threat hang over her? It was something he couldn’t contemplate. If it had been Mia? Rage began to bubble at even the thought of it, a rage he’d struggle to control if he was in her position.
That was what he should be focusing on; not some breach of trust in a relationship that was so difficult to define even a judge would be hard-pressed to decipher what had actually been breached.
Which begged the question, what were he and Ella, really? Friends? Employer and employee? Partners in the sense they shared the same goal: to see that the children were safe and cared for? Two people who should have met at another time and place? Or just plainly two people hot for each other but who could never act on it?
The thought incited a surge of white heat of a different kind, and he returned to the firewood. Needed or not, he was going to smash his way through this whole pile. Decimate it.
And he did. Though by the time he’d stacked the last chunk of ashwood, and covered the pile, his right shoulder was screaming. Possibly cussing as well. He’d overdone it, but pain aside, the physical exertion had calmed him and allowed him to view the situation more clearly.
Back at the house, both kids were awake, sitting in their highchairs with a fruit snack, and he fussed with them for a few minutes, warmed by their innocent, exuberant responses before finally meeting Ella’s gaze. As always, she appeared to be in control, but her usual softly golden complexion was now a much paler version, and those beguiling eyes were clouded—and guilt rocked through him.
None of her situation was of her own making. She’d responded as best she could when forced to make some tough decisions, and only time would tell if they’d been the correct ones. But for the moment she was doing what she thought best, and it was hardly his place to judge her. Or make life any more difficult than it was.
He wished the circumstances had allowed her to tell him, but really, what difference did it make? It wasn’t like they were planning a future together. But if they were? The notion immediately obliterated all else in his head, replacing it with images of them all as a family. Ella, in his life, in his bed, alongside him as a real partner. Benny growing up as his son, as a brother to Mia whom he already clearly adored. The four of them together. Maybe more? The realization had his heart plummeting, was that scenario the one he secretly longed for?
“Leo? Are you okay? You look—” She appeared to be unable to complete the sentence and he understood—because he too would be hard-pressed to name the flood of emotion that had washed through him; stunned him. So many mixed feelings; all suddenly churning inside him …
Would it work? Could they work as a family?
Definitely.
But only in some fantasy world where he was free to make those decisions. And Ella?
Yeah … If Ella wasn’t Lady Gabriella whose other life was so different to his own; a life that had the potential to lure her back.
And if her son wasn’t heir to a fortune.
Even if he hadn’t had his own issues to contend with those were enough curveballs he’d never have expected to see coming at him. As gamechangers went, they were doozies.
Pulling himself together, he offered a grim smile. “Yeah, fine—just overdid it with the firewood. You okay here if I go have a shower?”
Minutes later, the hot water pummeling his sore muscles offered temporary relief, but it alone wouldn’t be enough for any lasting effect, and after holding out until he started to prune, he stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his lower half and reached for the liniment, a brand he’d used through all his rodeo days.
Back then though, there’d mostly been someone, female usually, happy to help him apply it, and it took only a few attempts to realize he was going to have problems reaching the sorest part of his back and shoulder. An image of Ella flicked into his head, but even if things hadn’t been strained between them, he doubted he could have handled her soft hands on his naked flesh, not and keep any kind of control.
Especially knowing she felt the same way.
Huffing back an expletive, he stretched again as far as he could manage, assuming he was imagining things when her voice, soft and pretty—almost a whisper—reached him. Cocking an ear toward his bedroom, he listened again.
“Mia? Are you in here, baby? Benny? Are you pair playing cheeky games?” A low chuckle accompanied the last words, negating any irritation. “I’m coming to find you …”
Swinging the door open, liniment still in his hand, he smiled at her. “You’ve lost my daughter?”
Her little gasp was cute, and her eyes widened, and continued to grow wider as, whether intended or not, they quickly effected a complete vertical inspection of what stood before her. Him. And she certainly wasn’t unaffected. If he’d doubted it, he only had to look at the pink flush staining her cheeks.
“Oh … I… I’m sorry. I thought you’d still be showering. I—”
He grinned, a partial response to the flash of desire he’d seen in her eyes, and held up his empty hand, the work-hardened palm uncharacteristically wrinkled. “Figured I’d been there long enough. But Mia? You’ve, um lost her?”
