Page 2 of The Cowboy Takes a Nanny
There was something in her tone, a certain wariness. “There’s a problem with that, or am I reading more into what you just said?”
Her expression was wry, “Was I so obvious.” She sighed. “Yes and no. I love that he’s getting to experience family interaction like this—it was exactly what his father and I hoped for him—but I can’t help but worry about what will happen when we move on.”
“You’re planning on leaving?” That put a whole other slant on her potential employment. He didn’t want Mia to get attached to someone who had no plans to stick around.
“Eventually we’ll have to move on, Leo. Even if you decide I’m the right caregiver for Mia, you won’t need me forever.”
A painful twist tightened his gut. His brain, slow to keep up, floundered to fathom the reason. The woman had been in his home for approximately thirty minutes. Most of that time he’d been hoping for a reason to find her an unsuitable nanny for his daughter. Yet the moment she offered him even the scantest possibility, he’d near panicked? It was ridiculous.
This wasn’t going to work.
Then Mia bopped herself on the nose, dropped her lip and lifted her face to Ella who gently kissed the child’s nose, following with an equally gentle tweak that instantly had Mia’s smile back.
Then again—damn it—she could be the best idea ever. Mia was so comfortable with Ella, and he sensed those feelings were reciprocated. He was doomed. Though, actually accepting that fate wasn’t quite as hard to swallow as he’d thought. But there’d be ground rules. His, at least. If he secretly found the nanny attractive, then he’d ensure she never knew it.
Rule number one: no dallying with the nanny.
Rule number two: never forget rule number one.
But he was getting ahead of himself. He hadn’t exactly employed her yet. And as always, she both puzzled and intrigued him. Nothing about her hinted that she had been alone and almost destitute.
“I don’t want to pry too deep, but I guess I need to ask about Benny’s father.” He shrugged. “I’m not keen on the idea of strange men turning up when I’m not here with my daughter.”
“That won’t ever be a problem.”
Was that regret? No, it was a deep sadness clearly evident in her eyes. “My husband was killed in a boating accident when Benny was only a few months old.”
He’d guessed maybe a painful separation. Maybe even an abusive situation. This, however, hit him hard—and was eerily close to home.
“Shi—” He bit back the expletive, wishing for words even mildly profound, feeling inadequate when none came to mind. “I’m sorry. That must have been rough …” Embarrassed by his pathetic offering especially when he’d been the recipient of so many awkward platitudes himself, he avoided her eyes.
Fiddling with his now-empty coffee mug, he only relaxed when she reached out to stroke Benny’s head, and her smile returned when the boy excitedly held out his drawing to her.
Her response was exactly what he expected, gushing enthusiasm. Her bond with her son was what he had with Mia, unconditional love and pride. And her relationship with Mia possessed a similar special quality. Which was what he’d been looking for but had been missing in all the other applicants.
“I guess the other question is can you juggle two kids? Two very little kids.” He looked up toward the soaring cathedral ceilings. “And this house?”
“When we initially spoke, you mentioned a housekeeper? A cleaning lady?”
He nodded. “Yeah, Bea—Beatrice—comes out from town twice a week. I’ll be keeping her on. I guess I could get help with meals and laundry, especially when I might be gone for a few days, I have another property a few hours away. And there are times it’s particularly busy on the ranch.” He shrugged. “Harvesting, stuff like that.”
Her laugh took his breath. “Leo, mothers—and fathers for that matter—all over the world juggle way more than this. People have twins. Thanks to the generous support you’ve offered, I think we, me and my two little charges, can manage perfectly well. So, if this is a job offer, you can hold off on calling in extra troops.” He went to interrupt, but she held up one hand to cut him off. “If I need them, I’ll let you know, but for now, I think we’d be okay.”
He held her gaze, taking her point, bar one small detail. “I think the point of difference between you and those other harried mamas and papas out there doing it hard is that they’re doing it for their own children. That’s not going to be the case for you, though, is it?”
*
His question hit with a painful thud and Ella worked hard to maintain the confident smile she’d kept in place so far. Of course, he was referring to Mia not being her biological child, which was true. But it hit too near to the truth; the secret she held close, and she clamped down on the fear that surged every time hints regarding the truth surfaced. Facts that must be kept closely guarded.
Swallowing, she took the high road, “You think I’d prioritize Benny over Mia? That if I had to choose one or the other in a dire emergency, I’d choose him?”
“Wouldn’t any parent?”
“If we substituted the word parent for compassionate human being, would that question still hold? Wouldn’t any caring person endeavor to make whatever optimal choices were available to them? Do everything to save both?”
He looked uneasy. Good.
“No, course not—all I’m saying is that the parental bond is like this nonnegotiable deal you make with your kid; that instinct, subconscious instincts, would come to the fore. Any parent would act without thought and grab their own child.”
