Page 110 of Eternally Yours
I sit in the little nook by the window, looking out at our backyard. The backyard where we got married, where we promised to love each other forever… to never hurt one another. The yard where we talked and laughed, where we made love under the stars... now it just sits there, like me, void of any joy.
I haven’t cried since the call, either. I don’t want to cry anymore.I don’t want to feel anything.
I haven’t talked, that’s what scares them the most. They’re worried I’m shutting down. That I’m not coping and living the grief. I don’t want to live it, what good will it do? I’ll cry some more and feel the pain all over.
No, this is better.
Emma appears at my side, I see her from the corner of my eye, but I don’t look her way. I don’t acknowledge her. “Babe... you need to eat, this isn’t healthy,” she says softly while stroking my hair.
When I don’t answer, she sighs heavily and places a hand over mine. “We’re onlytrying to help, Cece. You don’t have to block us out like this. We’re here for you, don’t forget that. Okay?” She pats my hand, then stands and walks away.
Milo lifts his head from my lap and looks at me with a small whimper, then nudges my hand with his nose and lies back down.
In the distance, I hear doors slamming shut, then the beep of a car door locking. Another beep. They’re here.He’s here...
I see the girls stop whatever they were doing and turn to me, then look back at each other. Emma stands by the side door that leads to the garage, and Morgan goes to the front door where Clay is entering at that moment.
She rushes into his arms as he cradles her head and kisses her. Aubrey comes to my side and takes my hand. I don’t move. I don’t look, but my heart rate doubles in speed, and my body begins to tremble.
I’m not ready to see him... I’m not ready.
The side door finally opens, and the room’s energy instantly shifts. Silas drops his bag on the floor and takes a step in my direction. But Emma stops him, putting herself in his way.
From the angle I’m in, I can see them, but they probably think I’m staring off into space ahead of me. My mind is so lost and empty that it picks up on everything around me, even if I don’t stare directly at it.
“No. Leave her alone. You have some fucking nerve even showing up here,” Emma spits at him.
“This is my house,” he replies, seething through his teeth.
“Yeah! It is. And that right there”—she points back in my direction—“is your fucking wife. Yet, it didn’t stop you from sticking your dick in another woman,” she shouts in his face. “So if I want to stop you from coming into your own home to protect her, you bet your ass I will.”
Everything happens so quickly from there. Morgan leaves her husband’s arms and marches over to Silas before he has time to react. She pulls her hand back and smacks him hard across the face.
Emma’s eyes grow wide, and Clay’s jaw hangs open. Morgan gasps loudly and brings her hands to her mouth, like she can’t believe she did that. Then a small cry comes from her, and Clay takes her in his arms once more.
My husband’s eyes are red and watery, like he’s been crying for some time and is about to break down again. He doesn’t even touch his face where a red handprint is quickly forming, he just hangs his head in defeat.
“I know, okay? I know I fucked up. But I’m trying to fix this. It’s the only thing I can do. The only thing I want to do. So please, just let me seeher...” he says mournfully.
Emma looks my way, then back at Silas before sighing and stepping aside, giving him room to come to me. It dawns on me now that Milo hasn’t gotten up to greet his dad, like he knows he’s responsible for my state and is sticking by my side.
“How is she doing?” Clay asks in a hushed voice to his wife and Em, completely ignoring Sy’s presence.
“Not good. She hasn’t eaten or drank anything. She hasn’t left that spot since, only got up twice to use the bathroom, and she won’t talk to any of us... I’m worried, Clay. She seems completely gone...” Morg whispers, emotions lacing her voice.
Silas stares at me from where he stands, looking completely crushed. He finally starts to move in my direction slowly, as if he’s afraid if he goes any faster, he might scare me off. As if I’m a broken animal, filled with fear...
He’s right, it’s how I feel in this moment.
When he gets close enough, Milo lifts his head and looks at him but doesn’t make any further attempt to see his owner. Aubrey squeezes my hand one last time, then lets go and stands, stepping away but not going far. She’s been so quiet, I forgot she was even there.
That’s how numb I am, I couldn’t even feel her holding my hand.
He takes a final step and reaches his hand out toward me, to take my now abandoned one. “Minnie...”
I flinch when his hand gets too close, pulling mine closer to me. I flinch at the name he always calls me. I flinch at his voice, the voice I love so much that it hurts to hear.
He withdraws his hand quickly like I’ve just burned him and takes a step back. I can see his soul shattering through his eyes, I can feel it. I hate that I’m doing this to him. I don’t want to hurt him, even after everything that’s happened.
