Page 132 of Eternally Yours
I want to climb out my door and yank hers open. I want to take her into my arms and smell her and kiss her.I just want her.
But I can’t, I need to give her space. So instead, I look away, closing my eyes for a moment at how painful it is. Then I open them, put the car in drive, and leave.
I don’t look back. I don’t wave goodbye. I can’t, because if I do and see those sad eyes, I’ll lose it.
I just hope she’ll soon understand why I had to leave.
Chapter thirty-seven
Cecilia
Can we just admit that Amy and Sheldon are the best couple in Big Bang Theory?
I watch Silas drive away and feel my heart breaking a little more. I know I’m the one who left, but I would have thought that seeing each other close up like that after so long meant he would have said something. Or at least said hi... but no, he seemed sad, then looked away and left without saying bye.
“Sweetie... you okay?” Morgan places her hand on my arm with an expression of concern on her face.
I turn to her with tear-filled eyes. “I don’t understand... I thought he’d... he just left... he didn’t even try to talk to me...” My voice wobbles as I try to contain the sob desperately fighting to escape.
“I’m sure it’s just too hard for him. He misses you a lot. Talking to you but not being able to be with you might make it harder...” She smiles sadly, squeezing my arm a little.
All I can do is nod, not trusting my voice in this moment. I take a deep breath and step out of my car, locking it up and heading inside behind Morgan.
Clay stands by the island, hip leaned against the side. “How are my girls?” he asks with a side smirk, eyeing me, then his wife. He probably knows we ran into Silas on our way in.
“Good, we had a great time at the spa, and now I feel five years younger,” Morgan tells him, walking up and giving him a chaste kiss.
He knits his brows, watching her head to the fridge. “You’re only twenty-seven.”
“Exactly. The big 3-0 is coming up, and I don’t want to feel it,” she replies, taking out ingredients to make lunch.
Clay turns back to me with a little shake of his head. “Is it just me, or has she gotten more dramatic over the last year?”
I giggle because he’s totally right, I’ve noticed it, too. But I know exactly where it comes from. “You can thank Emma for that.”
He puts his palm to his face and mutters, “I knew those two hanging out was a bad idea.” He sighs like it’s the end of the world, then brings up his other hand and takes a step toward me. It’s only then I notice him holding a black envelope.
“He asked me to give you this.” Clay’s voice is quiet as he watches for my reaction.
My heart stops in my chest. I stare at the envelope, unable to give my arm the strength to lift and take it. I feel my hands grow sweaty and shaky.
Why would he write me a letter when he leaves me messages daily? What could be so important he’d need to handwrite it rather than leave me another message? What if his reaction in the driveway wasn’t because seeing me was too much? What if this letter is him saying goodbye...
My throat bobs while I swallow down my emotions and I look up to Clay with big teary eyes.
“No, C. He loves you. If I thought for a second that’s what was in that letter, I wouldn’t have agreed to give it to you.” It’s as if he can read my mind, he always knows what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, even when I won’t say it.
I finally manage to raise my arm and grab the envelope. Once in my hand, I trace the letters of my name on the top, written in Silas’s handwriting. I’ve always been fascinated with how elegant his handwriting is for a man.It’s beautiful. I miss seeing it every day.
“You should read it alone. He didn’t say what it contained, but with how desperate he was to get it to you, I think it will be something you’ll want to read privately.”
“Okay.” It comes out as a whisper.
I get up from the stool I was sitting on and look from Clay to Morgan, then turn and head to my temporary room. When I’ve made it in, I close the door behind me and sit in the armchair by the window. It’s where I listen to all of Silas’s messages.
I hold the envelope between my fingers and simply stare at it for a while.I’m afraid to open it.After what feels like a lifetime, I inhale deeply and swipe my finger beneath the flap.
Inside holds a white sheet of paper folded in three. I pull it out and delicately unfold it. My eyes instantly gloss over with just having read the first two words.
