Here she was, her heart so entwined with this man, and Aidan had all but admitted he only needed her to fulfill some obligation to his cousin.
She had to untangle herself, and fast.
Aidan spun her suddenly, then drew her even closer to him.
“Stop thinking so hard,” he murmured. “Let me help you separate the men from the boys, Emma. Men stand by their vows.”
“And boys don’t?” she replied, leaning back slightly.
“I think you know the answer to that.”
He spun her again, bringing her flush against his chest. “Sometimes, when your soul finds its mate, it lets out a great sigh, and with it, you fall.”
“When you fall, you get hurt,” Emma replied curtly.
He placed his lips against her ear. “I’ll catch you, Emmaline. I vow it. Let yourself fall.”
The music stopped, and the people around them clapped for the musicians. Aidan bowed slightly. “When you’re ready, I’ll be here. Arms open.” He winked. “You just have to trust me.”
“Easier said than done.”
“I am truly sorry for my words at supper. I was jealous. I saw Monaghan flirting with you, and you looked so smitten.”
“Smitten?” she echoed.
“Aye. Your face flushed a lovely pink, your eyes sparkled, and you smiled at him. As selfish as it is, I want all your smiles.”
She frowned. “You know, someone else wanted all my smiles, too. And now he wants me dead. I won’t be a fool twice.”
His eyes flashed. “I’m not MacDermott.”
“Well, you sure acted like him tonight,” she shot back.
Immediately contrite, he inclined his head. “I deserved that. I can only vow that it will never happen again, and if you were to grace me with one more chance, I’d like to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I am the man who will protect you with his life.” He gave a swift bow before taking his leave.
I don’t want protection, she thought morosely as she watched his retreating back. She caught sight of Brianagh andNioclas together, and she swallowed thickly. Whatdidshe want?
Safety. Peace. Happiness.
But above all, she admitted as she thought back to Brianagh’s words, she wanted to be on love’s side, too.
Chapter 17
Emma strolled along slowly, marveling at the order of the garden outside the kitchen. The rows stretched out neatly, twenty or more plants in full glory in each row. They were all labeled—garlic, onion, leeks, cabbage, celery, spinach, carrots. The rows were extensive, and held a surprising amount of variety.
“Reilly sends seeds back here with the various travelers he comes across.”
Emma nearly jumped out of her skin. She spun around. “Lady Brianagh! I thought I was alone.”
Bri’s expression was faraway as she gazed at the bounty. “It’s quite amazing what grows in the soil here. I was never much of a gardener growing up, but here, we have to grow or raise everything. And it’s not just us we have to feed,” she went on, bending down to check one of the plants. “It’s an entire clan.”
“This doesn’t seem like enough to feed a clan,” Emma said dubiously. It was a great garden for a family of four, but a family of five hundred or more? She couldn’t see it.
“We’ve cultivated it so these can be grown in the fields adjacent to the castle.” She added in a whisper, “Though Ichose to live in the Middle Ages, I insert a bit of the twenty-first century whenever I can.” She straightened and brushed her hands on her skirt. “Of course, only when it won’t impact history. If it’s not elsewhere in Ireland, we don’t trade it.”
The sun broke free of the clouds, and a ray of sunshine lit up the garden. Emma raised her face to the sun, enjoying the warmth. After a moment, she whispered, “Was it worth it?”
Brianagh didn’t have to ask what she meant. “Absolutely.”