Page 97 of Once upon a Summer Night

She watched Gwen head down the hall, a few guards trailing after her, and turned to Colin. “Where to?”

“Are you hungry?” At her nod, he announced, “The kitchens.” He placed her hand on his arm and steered her in the opposite direction of Gwen. He gave a command in Gaelicto the guards, who immediately fell back, then followed at a distance.

The kitchen was in a building separate from the main keep. Colin explained to her that if there was a fire, it could be better contained in a smaller building.

They walked in silence until they reached the gardens directly behind the kitchen. Lovely, well-tended rows of plants, vegetables, herbs, and flowers drank in the warmth of the summer afternoon. Stone benches were placed around the rows, offering places to rest or read.

Or talk.

“Colin,” Ellie began. She halted, unsure of her next words. She stopped walking and faced him. She searched his dark eyes, which were as serious as her own. “I don’t know how to even start.Thank yousimply doesn’t seem adequate.”

“It’s more than enough,” he replied. His face darkened. “I got you into that situation. I sure as hell was going to get you out of it.”

She continued to search his eyes, as though the mahogany depths would reveal something. She wasn’t sure what she was even looking for, until the words tumbled out of her mouth. “Last night, when you said that seeing me at the altar almost killed you…was it because I was being forced to marry?”

His nostrils flared as he drew a sharp breath. “Partly.”

They sat on one of the benches, and he closed his eyes, but not before she saw the longing in them. Hope flared in her chest. What was the point in trying to deny it? She knew, all the way to her soul, that Colin O’Rourke was the man for her. He was the one she was supposed to be with, forever. Perhaps longer. She wanted to talk with him and laugh with him, cry with him and comfort him, love him and be with him, no matter the cost. No matter what.

She couldn’t explain why; she justknew.

And just then, she knewheknew it, too.

She needed to say it, to say everything that she felt, and everything that she didn’t know she’d been holding in.

He shifted so that they were once again facing each other, and his eyes held such intensity, Ellie was momentarily overwhelmed. No one had ever looked at her like that, as though he were a starving man, and she was his favorite meal.

“Colin, I—”

“El, there’s—”

They both laughed, a little uncomfortably. Another second of awkward silence, and Colin took her hand in his.

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Me, too.”

His gaze bore into hers, and she opened her mouth to tell him exactly how she felt, but he placed a finger over her lips.

“Let me go first.” He hesitated, and Ellie experienced a flash of unease. She wasn’t sure shewantedhim to go first.

He was going to try to let her down easy, even though they were meant to be together.

She couldn’t allow him to, not before she had a chance to tell him her heart. “I’ve been in love with you since before we met. I think we were meant to be, Colin. Soul mates—”

“No!” he shouted, his eyes widening in panic, and he jumped up. “No, Ellie, no!” He paced quickly back and forth. “She didn’t mean it!” he yelled to no one in particular. “She’s suffered a shock!She didn’t mean it!”

“I most certainly did!” she exclaimed, insulted. “I’m so tired of this, Colin! Why can’t you simply open up to me? Admit that we have something?”

He shocked her again by dropping to his knees and grasping her hands. “Please say you didn’t mean it, Eleanor.Please.”

“Why?” she half whispered, sure she didn’t want to hear the answer.

“Because love isn’t enough for us. For me. There’s so much at stake here. So much more than just us!”

Ellie frowned. “I don’t understand your fear. I know your heart, Colin, because it’s a part of mine! I accept who and what you are! Your dedication to your family is part of what makes you, well, you.”

He rejoined her on the bench, simultaneously agitated and defeated. He rested his forearms on his knees and dropped his head. Ellie noticed all that, of course. But what she focused on was his hands.

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