Page 58 of The Winter Laird
“Oh, it cools,” she replied matter-of-factly. “For most couples, it cools even before the wedding.”
“How tragic for them, then.”
“Nioclas, do you ever want to find love for yourself?” Brianagh asked. “After I’m gone.”
He froze. She saw it start in his jaw, and then it was as if his entire body developed a crust of ice.
“Nay.”
The vehemence in that word surprised a quick “Why?” from her lips.
“Love will destroy the clan.”
It was said so flatly, she didn’t doubt he meant what he said. But it didn’t make sense to her—how could love destroy anything?
“I don’t understand,” she finally replied after a few beats of silence.
He let out a sigh, then noticed her blue lips. “By the saints, Brianagh, how coldareyou?” He quickly moved to her side and opened the blanket, then wrapped them together. “You’re shaking! We should go back.”
“If you want to,” she said, a vague sense of disappointment clouding her. “But I am getting warmer.” It was true—the man was better than a furnace. She had no idea how he generated that kind of heat, but she didn’t want him to move just yet. She hadn’t been this warm since she got out of Reilly’s car.
And also, the comfort she felt just by being near him was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She felt safe.
This is just a game. But I can be warm while we play it, she told herself, snuggling a little closer.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the waves break on the small strand of sand immediately at the water’s edge. The sand was quickly replaced by progressively larger rocks, making the shoreline trickier to get to than she’d thought when Nioclas took her to the battlements and she had her first clear view of the water.
“My father will destroy anything he can,” Nioclas said suddenly. “He would kill the woman I love without so much as blinking first.”
Brianagh’s mouth formed a silent O.
“My clan wants me to marry to produce an heir. But Aidan will ensure the line lives on, whether he marries or not. He has many women in the village who desire him, and he can get any one of them with child if he so chooses. That child would inherit the lairdship by blood.”
“Wouldn’t Burke go after the child?”
“Aye, if he knew about it. The plan is to send the child away with his mother until he’s old enough to come back, or my sire dies, whichever comes first.”
“You Irish certainly love to send your kids away,” she murmured.
“It’s for protection of the clan, Brianagh. Hundreds of people depend on me to protect them in times of war and settle their disputes in times of peace. I have pledged my life for theirs, and they have done the same. In our clan, we’ve decided that the lairdship will be passed by relation instead of staging a battle between those who desire it. I have no love for bloodshed.” Nioclas paused, weighing his next words. “My sire murdered my mother and, I suspect, her entire clan.”
Brianagh’s heart lodged in her throat.
Nioclas continued. “He thought them to be weak, and therefore, unworthy. When he killed her, something inside me snapped.” He stared out at the waves for a moment. “A laird should be a fearsome creature to his enemies and a source of safety to his clan. My sire ruled us for too long as if we were his enemies.” He closed his eyes briefly. “I swore that I would be different. ’Tis why we changed the name of this clan from Burke to MacWilliam. And I cannot be married, then send my wife and child off—he’d find and kill them. Any child I have would be considered an heir and in serious danger, moreso than most lairds’ children. But if Aidan had a child… Well, it isn’t unheard of for an unmarried pregnant lass to leave the clan.”
At Brianagh’s gasp, his gaze trapped hers. “If it were Aidan’s child, she would be more than taken care of, Brianagh. We would never send her somewhere without protection, coin, and comforts as best we can provide.”
Brianagh was quickly getting the picture. He would never love because of the danger posed to the woman, and he would never put a woman in that kind of danger.
“It will not be a surprise to my clans folk when you return to your home, and I claim your death. They will be saddened, of course. But a laird’s wife must be protected. She carries the future of the clan in her womb. So when you leave, I will not need to worry about another woman or an heir. I can simply return all of my focus to the clan.”
“I guess I came along at the perfect time,” she said softly.
He smiled sadly at her. “The Kildare lass—I didn’t even know her name, but I knew I’d be the death of her if I wed her. Eventually, he’d find her alone, or worse, with a child… It’s best she returned home. Aside from the danger, she’s just a child. I have no stomach for that.”
“As you’ve mentioned,” Bri replied with a nod. “I can see now why you were so upset when I went to the village with such inadequate protection. Thank you for explaining it to me.”
“I can keep you safe, Brianagh.”
