Page 79 of The Winter Laird
“Absolutely.” Nioclas chuckled. Turning serious, he added, “Do you ever wonder why men battle?”
“Well,” Bri replied, thinking. “I’ve always thought it was for power. Then gold, then land.”
“Perhaps those are the reasons men attack. But why do men who have none of those fight?” Nioclas asked. Before Bri could respond, he answered his own question. “Donovan believes it’s for a man’s own home and a good woman to share it with. And I think…I think I fight to protect my clan’s right to that. But lately, Brianagh, I’ve been wanting more. I’ve been wanting that for myself.” He paused, then gently touched her cheek. “I am not a man who wants what others have. I’ve worked for everything because of my clan, because they trusted in me when I was very young, and to repay them, I’ve dedicated my life to their happiness, their peace.”
Brianagh closed her eyes against the prick of tears.
“But I’ve found that their happiness doesn’t lead me to a full life,” he whispered. “I watch Erin and Donovan—he isn’t less of a laird because of her. He’s more. He’s better because he has an even stronger reason to protect what’s his.”
Brianagh nodded. “I think you’re right.”
“Aye. It took me my entire life to realize what that means.” Nioclas paused, gently brushing her cheek with the back of his scarred hand. “I think you might be my more, Brianagh.” He gently kissed away the tears on her cheeks and whispered, “End this game, Brianagh. It’s become too real. Consider staying here, with me. Don’t answer me now. I know I ask a lot, perhaps I ask more than I even understand. Just let me show you…”
And then his lips were on hers, and she was kissing him back. He responded, pulling her closer, his hands tightening on her waist, then removing the pins from her hair. He combed it with his fingers, his mouth never leaving hers. He deepened the kiss, tangling their tongues. Breathless moments later, he pulled his head back and silently searched her eyes, imploring wordlessly.
She closed her own again and kissed him with every ounce of passion in her soul.
Nioclas swept Brianagh into his arms and carried her to the bed, where he followed her down onto the feather mattress. As they helped each other out of their clothes, there was no need for words. They explored each other by firelight, with small sighs and intense kisses.
And when Nioclas finally entered into her and made her his, and he hers, he knew he would give up everything for her. He could only hope she would be willing to give up everything for him.
Chapter 23
Late the next afternoon, Brianagh found herself on the battlements again. It was the most private place she could go to think. Not many people liked the dizzying heights, and the guards stayed clear of her. She’d been dogged all morning by her personal guard, and while she understood Nioclas wanted to protect her, she wasn’t able to go more than a few steps without everyone following her.
It was frustrating. She needed some time to process what happened.
She’d slept with Nioclas.
The realization was sobering in the light of day. But, she readily admitted to herself, she wouldn’t take it back. It was the most amazing night of her life, but it was also the most complicated. She loved him—it physically hurt her chest to think of leaving. But it hurt to think of staying, too. She’d have to give up everything. Losing her family would be the hardest. Being forced to fully give up her family in order to gain her love was more than unfair.
But the hard truth was that Brianagh knew if she lost Nioclas, she would lose herself too. He was a part of her soul. She knew it all the way to her bones.
It was a lot to digest.
“My lady, I’m so glad I found you! One of the women in the village needs you immediately!”
Bri jolted out of her revelations and found one of the guardsmen making his way up the battlement steps. “What’s the matter, Odhran?”
“A childbirth is not going well. Lady Maguire is in the village with the woman now, but has asked for you.”
“Lady Maguire?” Bri asked, standing carefully. “What’s she doing there?”
Odhran shrugged, helping her down the narrow stairs. “I’m not certain, my lady. But Lady Maguire did say it was urgent that you join her immediately.”
“Laird MacWilliam said I’m not to leave the castle without the rest of the guard.”
“No time, my lady!” Odhran said sharply, then quickly bowed his head. “Forgive me. The villagers are superstitious. If the babe dies and Lady Maguire is thought to have cursed it, she’ll be drowned before the laird is any wiser. If you are there, you can dispute any claims, and your word is law.”
Brianagh’s eyes nearly popped out of her head and she urged him forward. “Let’s go, Odhran,” she replied firmly. “Erin will not be accused of anything if I have anything to say about it.”
They hurried through the bailey, and when they reached the outer gate, the guardsman refused to let them out. “Strict orders not to let Lady MacWilliam out without the entire personal guard!” he shouted down apologetically.
Brianagh threw her hands on her hips. “I command you to open this gate at once!” she called back. “This is an emergency, and I need to get to the village immediately!”
The man looked skeptical.
Brianagh almost stamped her foot in frustration. Erin was probably with the poor woman now, comforting her in her last moments and worrying about being burned to a crisp if someone claims she killed the woman.
