Page 1 of High Notes & Hail Marys

Chapter One

SANDRO COVELLI TO STERLING GRAYSON: ENOUGH ABOUT FOOTBALL; THE TRAIN NEEDS A MAN!

“Can a team achieve dynasty status without a ring?” I ask, venturing a tough topic. “The Miami Cyclones have been riding an incredible reversal of fortunes. Thirty-seven years without a playoff appearance, and then you guys land five straight. Everything’s been coming up roses for the Cyclones since Coach Larry Beausoleil took over in 2016 and quickly made power moves regarding drafting and free agency. One of those power moves was drafting a Bama gunslinger named Sandro Covelli…”

Covelli shrugs self-effacingly at this juncture.

“Five playoff runs,” I continue. “Two divisional championships. And, last year, a Mega Bowl appearance. Not a win, though. What’s it going to take? A lot of people are talking about the 1990s Buffalo Blues.”

“I’m sick of discussing what happened in February,”Covelli says, flashing his stunning trademark grin. “Losses happen. That’s old news. We’ve beaten this subject to death. This summer’s a whole new ballgame. And the dynasty topic is a non-starter. It’s bad luck to go down that road when we still have so many goals to meet. In the meantime, let’s talk about something else.”

It’s only March. But when the biggest deal in the NFA suggests a subject change, I listen. WhatdoesCovelli want to talk about?

“I wanna play wingman for a second,” he says. “Let’s talk about The Train. I want to get him a boyfriend. You ever take a look at the dude? I’m a married man, but he’s a hottie. They’re sleeping on his steez, man. Do people still saysteez?”

Admittedly, I’m not sure.

“Just look at him!” he insists. “Six-four, 265 pounds of solid muscle. Brown eyes you could drown in. And the scruff? Come the f--k on! He’s dreamy. I’m secure in my heterosexuality, and Kai’s the total package. Chocolate thunder. Like I said… dreamy.”

I agree that Kaius Reinhart is ‘dreamy’ and ask Covelli if he has someone in mind.

He arches an eyebrow and leans in.

“Actually, he won’t shut up about Sterling Grayson. He told me the other day that Sterling’s a total babe. And my wife tells me that Sterling is single. I wasnever great at math, but that sounds like one and one adding up to two.”

I express surprise that Kaius Reinhart “won’t shut up” about anything, given the DE’s famous work ethic and tight-lipped avoidance of the press. In fact, everything about this alleged interaction strains credibility. Kai ‘The Train’ Reinhart does not seem like someone who would call anyone a ‘babe.’

“Okay-y-y, so maybe it was only a passing comment. Maybe two!” Covelli holds his hands up. “I’m just sayin’. Sterling, if you read this, call my bro! He’ll treat you so good.”

*Editorial note: This magazine assumes no responsibility for the love lives of professional football players.

***

How do you ask the biggest pop star in the Western world on a date?

As it turns out,youdon’t. He has people. You have people. It’s not a meet-cute for the ages so much as it is a complicated matchmaking dance between public relations camps. You weren’t privy to the conversation, but you imagine it went something like this:

NFA Suit Guy #1:Good morning! I am calling on behalf of Kaius Reinhart? Star defensive end for the Miami Cyclones? You might know him better as ‘Kai,’or perhaps ‘The Train.’ Perhaps you saw him recently in his Mega Bowl appearance? Yes, the one they lost in overtime. Oh, you’re a New York fan? I do apologize. Yes, I understand divisional rivalries. In any case, I’m calling regarding your client, Mister Sterling Grayson? Yes,theSterling Grayson. That’s the one I mean. In any case, our Mister Reinhart formally requests the pleasure of an introduction.

Music Label Suit Guy #1:Well met, NFASG! You may or may not know this, but Mister Grayson is currently involved in a record-breaking world tour spanning two years and five continents. His schedule is slightly difficult. Any chance Mister Reinhart would be free between the hours of 5:15 and 5:30 in the afternoon on May 13th of next year, Japan Standard Time?

Ultimately, it takes a few weeks between you shooting a text to your agent and getting a text from an unknown number. It’s eight at night after a long day of OTA drills, and you are sore and bored thumbing through TikTok reels and downing Liquid IV to try and stave off cramps.

629-555-0746:Hi, Kai! I’m Adalyn Ledbetter, and I work for Maeve Mukherjee, Sterling Grayson’s personal assistant. I wanted to get in touch to see if you liked sushi?

You think that’s a weird question, but no weirder than the fact that Sterling Grayson’s PA is so busy that she apparently has staff working under her.

You:sushi’s ok. not big on sashimi or raw seafood, but I can get down with a California roll

629-555-0746:I totally get that. LOL! Are you free on Sunday afternoon? Ster wants to meet you for a late lunch.

You squint at your phone. Cartoon Network is playing on mute across the room. There are clothes all over the floor, because it’s the night before the housekeeper comes and does laundry. It’s currently Tuesday. You have a charity event on Saturday, but Sunday is looking pretty open, minus a Zoom meeting first thing in the morning. Sterling Grayson is asking you to meet. Well, he’s asking you by proxy. But still. What the hell is going on?

You:sounds great, what should I wear?

629-555-0746:Oh gosh, don’t stress about it. Whatever makes you comfortable. Ster will be at home in Nashville. He’ll send his plane for noon; is that okay? A car will pick you up and take you to the airport. It’s just a 2.5 hour flight, and of course we’ll bring you back home after. Sound good? You can feel free to hit me back at this number if anything comes up.

It’s a little—okay, alotmore of a commitment than you’d been planning on. It involves out-of-state travel, for Christ’s sake. At the same time… it’s lunch. (With the most famous person in theworld!your mind unhelpfully adds.) How crazy can things get?

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