Page 91 of High Notes & Hail Marys

Eventually, this, too, frustrates him. He disengages from kissing you, and pulls back. You can’t help swiping your thumb through the generous slick of pre-cum he’s exuded and popping it in your mouth. Sterling looks at you, eyes glassy.

“I need you inside me,” he says.

You groan. Behind Sterling, the TV has gone to the screensaver, a glowing blue light. You hold onto his hips. He bounces on your lap, mindlessly generating friction. Just a horny ball of need running on fumes.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea,” you grimace. It’s a fucking great idea, actually. Maybe the best all year. “Sterling,” you say gravely, “you can’t consent to this shit.”

“I consent,” he breathes. He looks straight intoyour eyes, and it’s like he’s just broken a window and crawled into your brain like a cat burglar. They’re so blue. “I consent to everything and anything you wanna do with me. To me. Just… stop. Stop overthinking this.”

Your hand finds its way back to his dick, jacking it slowly. Your body is a goddamn traitor. Sterling closes his eyes and tosses his hair back, moaning in a way that should be illegal. His hands run over his own throat, his chest.

“We could do it without the condom,” he continues. “You could fuck me raw.”

You are positive that you misheard him, so you ask him to repeat himself.

“You could…” He looks down, and his cheeks flush. “Breed me.”

The words hit you with blowtorch efficiency. Your cock, already painfully erect, actuallythrobs.Who the fuck is this man? You’ve known him for a year, and he’s been hiding this freaky side? For a moment, you lose yourself in the thought: nothing between you two, pumping his tight asshole full of seed. It’s a heady, intoxicating thought: Sterling was maybe a secret cum slut this whole time. Fuck your actuallife.

It’s a step too far.

He’s eroded your standards, but you won’t crossthis line. Before Sterling can say anything else with that persuasive, filthy mouth of his, you reach into the bedside drawer. There are condoms and lube in there, and almost you have to laugh at the thought of Sterling’s housekeeper stocking them in every bedroom.

You toss him the lube. “Finger yourself,” you tell him.

He listens, lying back on the bed and making a sloppy mess with the lube, but immediately filling himself with two fingers. It’s impressive, even considering the fact that you guys have been having sex almost daily, and you topped him just two days ago. While he’s occupied, you shove the covers off and finally—finally—get a hand on yourself. You have to restrain yourself from jerking yourself too much, because your arousal is a runaway train and you’re pretty sure you’ll finish yourself off before you deal with Sterling’s little problem.

Sterling’s teasing a third finger around the ring of his asshole, thrashing his head, his hair hanging over the foot of the bed. You consider the foil strip of condoms in your hand. Once again, you are in the deep end of a pool of desire and unsure if your next step is going to put the water over your head. Honestly, it’s more than a little ridiculous that you guys have been in a closed relationship for this long and are still using protection, but you alwayschalked it up to another of Sterling’s foibles, maybe some more mild hypochondria. You’ve been tested, and you would bet a lot of money that he has, too. The conversation aboutnotusing latex never came up, and you didn’t push it.

This is not the moment, you tell yourself. Soon. But not now.

You sheath up and crawl over Sterling. Grab his face, and sink your fingers into the soft meat of his cheeks. He looks up at you, open and trusting and more gorgeous than any human has the right to be.

“You want me to fuck you?” you ask him. “You’ve only been begging for it like a little whore for over an hour.”

It’s a risk, but it pays off richly. Sterling moans, and his mouth drops wide open. His eyes just about roll back. You move your hand slowly down his neck, splaying your big fingers over his breastbone. He’s still scissoring his fingers inside himself, nearly drooling for it.

“You gonna move your hand?” you ask. “Sooner you do, the sooner I can get inside you and fill you up.”

He gets with the program real quick, extending his arms at his sides. His wingspan is almost as wide as the bed, and he’s as open as Jesus on the cross, his knees drawn toward his chest. You position yourself between his thighs. Unwilling to makeeither him or yourself wait any longer, you slide in.

The heat of Sterling’s insides is nuclear. He keens when you bottom out inside him, balls against his ass, hands on his ankles.

“You like that?” you say, starting to move. “That what you need?”

“Oh god,” he whimpers. “Oh Jesus. God. Kai.”

You fucking wish you’d been enough of an asshole to skip the condom. To feel him raw around you, no barriers, just his body and your cock. As you thrust, your vision starts to shimmer a little.

“Couldn’t get off, poor thing,” you say. It’s like the words are being pulled from your guts with fishing line, the filth just spilling out of you. “Needed my big cock. Had to get fucked. Wasn’t going to accept anything less, were you?”

Sterling’s quickly gone post-verbal. He’s in a place beyond logic and dirty talk right now, an evidently wonderful dimension of feeling. His long lashes flutter. His hands clench the duvet.

With every stroke, his cock slaps his stomach. You wonder if he needs to be touched, but something makes you hold off. Hold off even as you thunder closer to an expansive crimson peak, a fullness radiating through your lower back.

“You done whining?” you grit out. “Now thatyou’re so fucking full? You shoulda just told me, Ster. Just said that you’re so hungry for this dick that nothing can fix you anymore. Say it. Say that my cock’s the only thing that can get you off.”

“Kai…” he breathes. Between his lids, his eyes are hazy. You’re not even sure what he’s looking at. Around you, he’s tensing rhythmically.

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