Page 9 of Dev

“No, I don’t find that strange at all. You're a nice girl, Millie, a decent girl. You’re saving that moment for when the time's right for us, and I want that, too. I want you to have everythin’ you want.” I feel the pressure of Dev’s fingers pressing around my throat, along with the heavy weight of guilt. “I’d wait forever for you, you know that.”

“Corey,” I sigh.

“No, don’t look at me like that. I want to know why you're throwing all this away.” His grip on my arm tightens as his voice gets more desperate.

All I can hear is Dev's voice in my head, and it forces out the words that come next.

“I don’t want to be a biker’s whore,” I speak out, already hating myself for doing this to him, and the way he stares back at me, confused, has me feeling even worse.

“A…A what…? Millie, you wouldn’t be a fuckin’ whore, you’d be my old lady.”

“Come on, Corey, look at this place. Look at me, do I look like someone's old lady?” I hate myself for what I’m doing, but I have to save Corey from himself. Maybe I should try harder to love him the way I should. I’m never gonna find a guy that treats me better and loves me as hard as he does. I can’t let the way I feel for his mean, older brother ruin my chance to be happy. What I have for Dev is just a crush. A stupid, ridiculous crush!

“So what are ya sayin’, Millie?” I hear the pain in Corey’s voice.

“I’m saying that I don’t want to marry a biker.”

“You wanna marry a doctor?” He shakes his head as that pain makes it all the way to his eyes. He’s disappointed because he thought I was different.

“Take that however you want it, Corey.” I pull my hands away from his so I can step away. Lying to him feels so awful.

“Youknowhow much becoming a member of the club means to me. You’ve always known. You’ve always supported it.” I refuse to turn around and see any more of his hurt.

“People change,” I whisper, closing my eyes and trying not to cry.

“So what you're sayin’ is that it’s you or the club?” he questions, and I slowly nod my head.

“You know, I never thought you would make me choose between the two things in the world that matter most to me.” He steps up behind me, and I freeze when his hand rests on my waist. “I love you, Millie Dawson. I love you with every single part of me, but I’m destined to be a Soul. I need it. Don’t you understand that?” He spins me round to face him. “Are you really asking me to make the choice?” he checks again, and I find the nerve to look up into his eyes and nod.

“Then I guess I have some serious thinkin’ to do.” He drops his head so he can kiss my forehead, before he turns and walks away.

“Where’s my brother?” I nearly knock Trinity off her heels when I barge into the club.

“Hey, handsome, what's got you all tense?” She places her hand on my bicep and squeezes, “Look at you, growing up all big and strong.” She runs her tongue along her top lip.

“Shoo.” Peyton comes over to my rescue, seeing her off like a dog, and Trinity scowls as she walks over to join Saint and Sasquatch.

“Are you looking for Dev?” Peyton asks with a warm, friendly smile.

“Yeah, is he here?” I scan the room looking for any signs of him and trying to control my rage, showing any aggression in front of Raze’s old lady isn’t gonna make a good impression, and it’s a surefire way to get my ass kicked.

“Not tonight, he’s on the graveyard shift with Vike,” Alicia calls over from where she’s sitting with the rest of the girls.

“Graveyard shift? What graveyard shift? There wasn’t anyone at the gate.” I’ve offered to do gatewatch as a more permanent position so many times, but I’ve only ever been called up when they are desperate.

“The club managed to get an address for that mob who ambushed their run yesterday. Raze is still real touchy about it.”She looks over to the bar where Raze is sitting by himself. He’s got a scary look in his eyes and enough tension in his jaw to warn everyone to stay the fuck away.

“Maybe you should wait for him back at your place,” she suggests.

“I don’t wanna wait at home, Pey. Don’t people get it? I wanna be part of this.” I look around the room. “Let's be honest, this is Dev’s real family. I’m just his kid brother, a fuckin’ burden to him.” I raise my tone higher than I should at her, but all the frustration of Millie’s ultimatum is eating away at me. I don’t understand why we can’t be like Raze and Peyton, or Wrath and Eden. Even Ruckus has an old lady now. Millie has never had an issue with me wanting to be a member of the club before. She always got so excited if I snuck her into one of the club’s beach parties.

None of how she’s been acting lately makes any sense.

“Corey, you know that's not true. Dev’s just trying to protect you. The club has lost a lot of people recently. He doesn’t want to lose you, too.”

“Shouldn’t that be my decision to make?” I question her. “How would you have felt if someone told you you couldn’t be with Raze?” I try to get her to see my point because Peyton would be a good person to have on side. I understand that Millie and Dev are trying to protect me. They think I’m weak, but they’re wrong.

“I get your frustration,” Peyton continues. “What you really need to do is sit down and speak to your brother. Explain to him how you feel.”

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