Page 70 of Dev

“Dev,” I hear her voice calling out to me, screaming for me to help. But I can’t get to her. I can’t save her. It always ends the same. All I can do is end her. It’s the only way to make her pain go away.

“Dev!” My breath holds when I’m shaken awake, and when I see Millie looking all freaked out and scared, my hands automatically lift to her face so I can check it’s still intact.

She’s not hot, she’s not burning. Her skin is still smooth and perfect.

“You're okay?” I sigh in relief and throw my head back against the pillow.

“Of course, I’m okay. You're the one sweating and thrashing in your sleep. Were you dreaming?” Millie asks, passing me a glass of water from her nightstand.

“I must have been.” I swallow it down and remind myself to breathe. It’s been a while since my mind took me back to that place, and this time, seeing Millie’s face locked in my version of hell, made it so much worse than the times before.

“You’re okay, whatever it was is over now,” she assures me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing my headagainst her chest, and it’s not until I hear her heart thumping in my ear that I let my body relax.

“You wanna talk about it?” she asks after a few minutes of silence.

“Never.” I grip around her waist and hold her tight.

Dev’s hiding something from me. That dream he had last night proves it. He looked so tortured while he was trapped in that nightmare, and I know whatever it is that's troubling him is something he wants to protect me from.

“You look pretty today,” he tells me, putting on a brave face when I join him in the kitchen. I swear, as soon as I get this meeting with my father out of the way, I’m going to get to the bottom of all this, even if it means going back to that bar and speaking to Jodie again.

“What time do you gotta be at your dad's place? he asks, placing his mug in the sink and coming straight for me. He lifts me up onto the kitchen counter effortlessly, placing himself between my legs and gripping under my chin with his thumb and finger.

“I said I’d get there for eleven.” I focus on his lips, willing them to kiss me. I seem to forget all the complications surrounding us when he does.

“You know I’m taking you there, right?” he warns

“I know, and I don’t care if he sees us together. He’s finding out the truth today, anyway.” I’m nervous as hell, but I know I’ll feel better when everything's out in the open. I’m sure Mom not being there is going to make everything a lot easier.

All night, I’ve been reminding myself of the stories Gran would tell me when she was alive. Stories from when Dad was young that I’m sure he never wanted me to hear. From the way they sounded, he was a free spirit. I’m relying on that side of him to come through for me today because if he makes me choose between my family and Dev, my family will lose.

“I wish you’d let me come with ya, I could talk to him and–”

“You’ll have the chance to do that, but not today. Me and my dad have a special bond. He loves me, and when I explain, I know he’ll want me to be happy,” I assure him. He ws under the influence of Mom the other day when he booked that plane ticket to New York. Today, I’m going to convince him to start standing up for himself.

“And what if he convinces you not to come back to me?” Dev furrows his brow.

“That's never gonna happen. I’m right where I wanna be, Dev.” I get fed up of waiting for him to kiss me, and I press my lips against his.

“You know there's nothing I wouldn’t stop at if he tries to take you from me.” He pulls back to warn me, his eyes dark, and his body tense. I can’t help but wonder if he’s saying what I think he is. Surely he must know that I could never forgive him for that.

“It would never come to that.” I stroke his face and wonder why this man doesn’t scare me. I’ve seen for myself how brutal he can be, but I’ve also felt how soft his touch can be. I don’t doubt Dev’s warnings, I just have faith that I can get my father on board with this.

“Come on, the sooner I get you there, the sooner I get you back where you belong.” He kisses me hard and possessively before picking up his keys and leading me out to his bike.

“I remember a time when you told me I didn’t belong with you or the club.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes I get things wrong.” He lifts me onto his saddle and kisses me scandalously, causing his neighbour to shake her head and storm inside the house.

“You call the second you need me,” Dev tells me once I hop off the back of his saddle. I can see he’s uneasy about leaving me, but he’s respecting that I need to do this alone, and for that I’m grateful. If my father is going to accept us, it’s going to require some time and understanding. Dev storming in and telling him how it’s going to be from now on would never work, and I don’t want to risk the consequences of my father disagreeing with him.

“You're not gonna hang around out here, are you?” I ask him nervously, the last thing I need is the worry of him barging through the gates because I’m taking too long.

“No, I’m gonna stop by at the club and pick up a cage so we can take some of your stuff when I pick you up. I’ll be back in an hour.”

I can’t help smiling at his change of attitude toward us. I never thought I‘d see the day that Dev would want me living with him. He really is all in on this. We’ve got a lot to overcome, but at least we have that.

“Don’t take no shit.” Dev smiles, looking up at the camera on the gate as he leans in to kiss me. “If you ain’t waitin’ out here for me in an hour, I’m coming in,” he warns, dragging himself away so he can start up his engine.

---