Page 39 of Dev

“Right, you came here to check in with him.” Peyton shakes her head and gets us back to the reason I’m here. “You might as well stick around and wait it out with us. I’m sure he’ll be fine. They all will.” Peyton looks around the table to assure everyone.

“Right, has anyone else here gone down with that pregnancy thing that's going around before I pour these out?” Quinn asks, after locating the tequila. I notice the way Eden looks at Peyton and smiles awkwardly.

“I’m not, but I have this one to watch.” Lettie gets up to strap her little boy in his buggy. “You girls go at it, though. I agree with Quinn. Having some fun will make the time pass faster.”

“Perfect.” Quinn carries a tray of shots over to the table and hands one to me.

“You're brand new.” She looks me up and down as if I’m some kind of impostor. “Which one of them do you belong to?”

“None of them, actually.” I smile awkwardly before necking the shot right back. It burns, but I need something to take the edge off.

“Amen to that girl.” She clinks her full glass against my empty one. “Here's to hoping persistence pays off.” I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I smile anyway.

“What are you doing over here by yourself?” Freya comes to join me where I’m sitting on the sand. Peyton and Lettie had enough swimsuits for us all to borrow. While Lettie and Alicia are dipping Rory’s toes in the water, Eden, Peyton, Polly, and Anita all watch and clap their hands each time a wave breaks around his little chubby feet.

“I’m just thinking,” I admit, staring out at the ocean and hoping that Dev is okay.

“Wanna talk about it?” she asks, leaning back and lifting up her face toward the sun.

“I wouldn’t know where to start.” I laugh at how pathetic my life is. What am I even doing here? When Dev gets back, he’s not going to be pleased to see me; he’ll be furious. I don’t even think using the excuse of returning the money to him is an excuse. I touch the bag beside me, hating the burden of carrying around so much cash.

“You could start by telling me how long you’ve been crushing on Dev.” Freya looks at me knowingly, and I feel my cheeks instantly heat up.

“Is it that obvious?” I decide not to even attempt to deny it. I need someone to talk to about this, and although we’ve only met once, I feel comfortable enough around Freya to bare my soul.

“I don’t know, a year, maybe?” I shrug my shoulders and bite my lip, waiting to be judged for crushing on my boyfriend's older brother while we were together. “I didn't realize what it was at first, and I tried to ignore it. Really, I did. But I can’t stop thinking about him. Even at times when I shouldn’t. I know it’s wrong, it’s the whole reason I broke things off with Corey, but–”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. The heart wants what it wants.”

“Yeah, and Dev doesn’t want mine.” I sigh, looking back out to the ocean and feeling sorry for myself.

“Look, Millie, I don’t know Dev all that well, but I don’t think relationships have ever been up there with his priorities. You have to be a certain kinda person to do what he does for the club.” She tries to skirt around it without causing alarm.

“I know what he does, I also know your brother does it, too,” I point out, reminding her that it’s possible for someone to be that dark-minded and still capable of love. Corey used to spend hours talking about the club; he always boasted that he’d make a good enforcer himself, though I wasn’t very convinced.

“I’m not stupid, Freya, I get that me and Dev will never be a thing. He knows how I feel, and he’s made it very clear how much it disgusts him. But it still doesn’t stop me from caring about him. He even gave me this to get rid of me.” I lift the heavy bag up from the sand and dump it between us. “Apparently, he’d been saving up for Corey to go to college, and he wanted me to have it so I could get out of town.”

“Millie, there are thousands in here!” Freya looks gobsmacked when she unzips the bag and sees what's inside.

“I know, right? I brought it here to return it.”

“You know, this suggests to me that Dev cares about you, too.” Freya zips it back up and smiles.

“I don’t think so. He made it clear that he wants me as far away from him as he can get me.” I give her the more realistic scenario.

“These Soul men are very complex creatures; you can never guess what’s going on inside their heads.” She nudges my shoulder and laughs.

“Here we go, ladies, this is a little one I call the Bone Rattler.” Quinn carefully makes her way down the stairs from the balcony, carrying a tray of cocktails. She hands one to me and Freya before moving on to the others. “ I made mocktail versions for you two,” she assures Alicia and Eden. handing them one that's a slightly different color from the rest.

“Are you sure we should be doing this? I feel kinda bad,” Freya admits, though her eyes light up as she takes a sip from her straw.

“Come on, are you telling me that your men don’t enjoy what they’re doing right now? They’re out there getting their kicks, and this is how we get ours,” she assures us.

“Is that the last of ’em?” Raze asks, lighting himself a smoke while Rocoo and a member from Nevada, Flex, drag another corpse over to the pile of dead men. I look around at all my brothers, all of them look shattered. Most of them are covered in blood, some of it theirs, some of it Irish, but what matters is, we’re all still standing.

“I’ll call Burlusconi and tell him Quinnell ain’t here.” Raze nods proudly at us before taking his phone out of his cut and turning his back.

Despite the fact we killed every one of them, he looks disappointed. But not nearly as much as I am.

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