Page 84 of Doesn't Count

Bordeaux grips my shoulders and maneuvers me in front ofFather, facing him. I’d much rather lose my attention to the vine-like branches that sway high in the sky, but instead I’m forced to meet black eyes resembling a rat. Now that I think about it, everything about this man is like a skinny rat. His coarse, grey hair, his long, pointy noise, those whiskers...

“Son, you are brought here tonight to prove your worth to Satan. You’ve accepted his way, now it’s time to prove to him that you will be a devout follower.” He explains.

“And what if I don’t?” The question slips before I can stop it.

His lips twist in disdain, but he answers. “Then you will be just another gift to our Master.”

“I don’t-”

“You’ll be sacrificed.” He clarifies.

I swallow the information like a pill turned sideways.

“What do I have to do?”

Father’s hand reaches inside his robe, pulling something out. A glint catches my eyes, silver shining with the reflection of the surrounding flames. My gaze travels up the six-inch blade to a golden handle carved with stacked skulls.

A knife.

I trip over my own feet, retreating as if being repelled by the item itself.

“See that girl there?” He nudges his head behind me, and I twist, looking at the girl clad in a white dress. I nod. “She’s offering herself to you. She’s allowing you to take her life in exchange for your own. A life lead by Satan.”

My mind comes to a screeching halt, the words leaving his mouth unfathomable.

“No.” Is all I can think to say.

Bordeaux’s fingers wrap around the back of my neck, turning me to faceFatheragain.

“Your choice, son. Will it be your life or hers?” He asks, smiling as if he already knows the answer.

Khaos

Present

“What did you do?” Blue eyes glisten before me.

“What I had to.” I choke out, the memories like bombs detonating inside my mind. “My parents were never abusive.” A slight smile touches my lips as I silently reminisce about my mother just like I did time and time again to get me through my nightmare of a life.

She bites her thumbnail, mulling over my story, my sins. “Your parent must have been relieved they finally found you.”

I bite my lower lip, guilt gnawing at my insides. “When I turned eighteen, I escaped. It was a freak accident; I was never left alone. Not even to piss, but for some unknown reason, I found myself without a keeper and bolted. Except, I never went home. My parents don’t know I’m alive.”

She sits up, her brows dipped in confusion. “Why wouldn’t you go home? Your parents were probably heartbroken, devastated and you just let them continue to believe that you’re gone?”

I mirror Ash, pulling myself up, tucking my knees into mychest. After years of contemplating what it would be like to go home, I could never figure out what would be worse; my parents mourning their son for life or getting him back to realize that he’s not their son anymore?

“I couldn’t face them, still can’t. Not after everything that’s happened to me. Not after everything I’ve done. I’m a monster, Ash. Deep down, I’m rotten, decayed, so passed gone that I can never be brought back.”

She shakes her head, “You did what you had to do to survive. No one can blame you for that, but what they can blame you for is not coming back. Do you know what I would give to have my best friend come home? Even after all these years, even after the torment of losing him, of burying him!”

I should tell her...

Now would be the time to finally confess that I’m the best friend she’s desperate to have back.

Except, I can’t.

“Doubt that.” I scoff. “If you only had a clue to the things I’ve had to do to get by, you’d be eating your own words.”

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