Page 50 of Doesn't Count

He grips my wrists, spinning me around and holding myback against his chest. “So what? Take your little pill and get over it.”

He shoves me away from him and I stumble forward. Than jumping up to catch me from falling. He pulls me into him as I fight more tears, this jerk doesn’t deserve them.

“Jesus, man. Have a little respect.” He shakes his head at Khaos.

“You know what?” I pick the box up, slamming it into his chest. “I think I’ll pass on these. You can deal with whatever consequences come your way.”

“That’s so stupid, you do realize that my consequences will be your consequences, right?” He reasons.

“I can live with that.” I lie, grabbing my bags and storming out the door.

I needed space away from all of them, even if it means being stuck back on the bus longer than I want to. Khaos causes me to make all the wrong choices and as I sit here in silence, I realize that he is right. I am being stupid. Ever since I joined this tour, I’ve been stupid.

Well, how’s that for risks, Blane?

I just hope he brings the box back with him.

With my mind still reeling, I decide it’s not the best idea to pump out another piece for the blog, especially the way I’m feeling about the lead singer. It’s best that I don’t throw my personal life and career away in one day, so I FaceTime Sam instead. I need a friendly face to calm all my nerves.

I don’t have the courage to tell her anything that happened last night, seeing as she would only be disappointed with me, but it feels good to talk to her. We catch up for an hour before the guys start trickling back onto the bus.

Khaos is the last to enter and all I want to do is ask for the Plan B, but a part of me is too angry to even bring myself to speak to him. I flush every braincell I can find just to hang ontoany shred of hope that this war between us isn’t over because I intend to win. Last night was a one off, drugs and all, so I can confidently say it doesn’t count. It was a mistake. Now I just need to pick myself back up, brush off my knees, and keep on fighting.

He’ll be the first to fold since he has more to lose, so I’ll count down the minutes until he does.

Khaos

I let her squirm for the next few days, the both of us playing a dangerous game of chicken. There’s something about Ash that lights a fire inside of me in all the worst ways. It’s not a slow burn or a comfortable warmth, but an untamed wildfire that incinerates everything in its path. It’s intense and destructive and everything that’s wrong in this world, yet I sit here and hang onto the magical pill that will make all our problems disappear just to see if she’ll make the first move. To see if she’ll come to me for once.

This whole situation has robbed me of any decent sleep, so I lay here in my bed – alone – at six in the morning thinking about the little blonde she-devil. As all my thoughts melt together like a box of crayons left outside in one-hundred-and-ten-degree weather, I decide I’ve had enough of this shit. Without thinking, since my mind is an utter mess, I rip myself from my bed, slip into some clothes, and bulldoze my way through the bus.

Ash jolts up from the couch, her eyes widening as I trample forward, ripping her from the leather with a tug of her wrist. Itoss her over my shoulder before storming out the door into the brisk morning air.

“Put me down, asshole!” She growls into my back.

I drop her to her feet, her naked arms prickling with goosebumps, her nipples poking through her thin tank top. She crosses her arms, rubbing at her skin, trying to warm herself.

“What do you want?” Ash snips, her lips pinched angrily.

“I want you to admit this isn’t all my fault.” I narrow my eyes, begging her to lessen this guilt I've felt for days.

“It is all your fault!” She shoves me.

Her eyes are bright against the darkness that surrounds them. She looks like she’s slept as much as I have.

“You didn’t tell me no. You didn’t say anything! Actually, if I remember correctly, you were screaming my name and begging for more!” I argue, a cloud of condensation expels from my mouth on a curt laugh.

“Fine! Yeah, I made another mistake!”

Now I’m really laughing. “Seriously?”

“I warned you,” she drops her tone. “Any kiss you ever give me, won’t count, so what makes this any different?”

I stare at her bewildered, my hands on my hips. I don’t know what I expected when I dragged her out here. A truce? Clearly that’s never going to happen. She’s living on another planet if she thinks I’m going to just let this go.

I step into her, the muscles in her body twitch at my closeness. I run the back of my finger down the side of her face before digging my hand into the hair at the nape of her neck.

Yanking, I force her to look up at me. “The other night, you gave me something you’ve never given to anyone else in this entire world. You let me take you, pleasure you, and I had you begging for more.” I dip my face to her ear. “I came inside of you, Eris. That’s the difference.”

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