Page 47 of Doesn't Count

“Oh Khaos, Oh my God! Yes Daddy!” Hypnos teases in a porn star voice.

My eyes widen, shooting him a dangerous glare.

“Can we get a second?” I urge, looking over to find Ash frozen with shock.

He looks at both of us, then sighs. “Fine.”

I wait until the door closes behind him before turning toward Ash. From the looks of it, she’s not exactly smitten and in love. Actually, far from it. Her face is buried in her hands and she’s shaking her head.

“What did we do?” She groans. “Fuck!”

The word sounds foreign on her tongue and completely unwarranted.

“Woah, look, it’s not a big deal.” I try to calm her down, but it has the opposite effect.

“Not a big deal? I barely even remember last night!” She laughs, mostly to herself.

“At all?” I wonder because I won’t ever forget the way she screamed my name like she was praying to her God.

She pauses to think, her eyes glowering, using me to kickstart her memory.

“Pieces.” She groans.

“I don’t mind doing it again to help you remember.”

Her eyes widen, “Jesus! No! I mean, I don’t even know what you look like!”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“Yes!” She rips the blackened hotel duvet off of her and stalks to the bathroom.

Rejection stabs me straight through the chest, an unfamiliar feeling when it comes to women. They pine after me, not the other way around, yet here’s the only woman in years to break my will power and she’s... mortified?

I grip the blanket with a tight fist, shoving it away when something catches my eye. A travesty in the form of blood streaks the white linen, proof that I am exactly what she thinks I am... an asshole.

I knew, deep down I knew that she was a virgin, but part of me refused to believe she was really that perfect, that untainted. Why didn’t she say anything? Why didn’t she stop me?

Because of the drugs you idiot.

“Ugh!” I growl loudly.

I storm into the bathroom, throwing the door open. My mind a city of devastation, complete ruin. Towers built from the ideas of what I once thought of Ashton Crawford now crumbled to the ground in a heap of debris. Utter chaos swarms my mind at the very thought that I stole a piece of her innocence, something she can never get back. I always meant to dim her light just a little, darken her soul, leave her blemished andimperfect, but never in my mind did I think that this was how it would happen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I question through a tight jaw.

Ash paces the small space, arms crossed over her chest, hiding what’s already been so freely given. She doesn’t say anything, just runs her hands through her hair. Millions of thoughts racing inside her head, transparent through her eyes. I can see the panic taking hold, so I move towards her.

“Why?!” I urge, forcing her to stop by gripping her shoulders.

“I don’t know!” She cries. “I didn’t think it would go that far. I didn’t think we would...” Her voice is soft with disbelief.

“What did you think was going to happen when you took the molly, huh? It was just going to be a fun little trip?” I snap.

“I don’t know! I’ve never done molly!” She yells right back, her blue eyes nearing black.

“Yeah, and you’ve never had sex before! Tell me I'm right!” I demand.

She looks away, shame choking her, keeping her from answering.

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