Page 28 of Doesn't Count

I toss the camera to the couch, unable to stop my fingers from wrapping around her neck, my thumb increasing the pressure on her esophagus. She’s choking, gasping for air and the guys start screaming at me. I can’t hear them, I’m trapped in her wide, fear filled eyes.

“Stop! What the fuck are you doing?” Kokytos shoves the side of my head to get my attention.

Ash is turning blue, probably wondering if I’m capable of really ending her. What’s unfortunate for her is I’m wondering the same thing. How far am I willing to go to keep my past hidden?

“Put your fucking mask back on, Koke.” Than growls, tossing him his mask.

“How am I being yelled at? This fucker is literally choking a girl out!” He argues, but quickly slips his bandana over his face.

I drop my hands, allowing Ash to breathe. She falls to her knees in front of me, coughing hysterically. I watch withapathetic eyes, my mind on one thing only; survive and in this moment, I’m forced between choosing her or me.

Granted, it wasn’t even my face she caught, but I can’t risk being found out by association.

Hypnos rushes over with a glass of water, allowing her relief from her aching throat. The fact that they don’t realize the magnitude of the situation is alarming. Except I can’t blame them because I’ve never told them.

“Put this on.” I dangle a bandana in front of her face.

She stares up at me with fury in her eyes, her hand holding her throat. “Screw you.”

“Put it on, now!” I order.

For some reason, she snatches it from my hands and follows my demand. There’s a fight inside of her that screams out, even if her actions depict that she’s giving in. Slowly, she wraps the bandana across her eyes, tying it in back.

Once she’s blind, I yank her by the elbow and escort her out of the venue. I shove her onto the bus, planting her on the couch roughly, searching the cabinets above her for duct tape. At the sound of it unraveling, she starts to panic.

“Khaos stop!” She rushes to yank on the bandana, but before she can, her wrists are in my hands.

I flip her to her stomach, using my weight to hold her down and binding her wrists behind her back.

“What are you doing?” Her cries are muffled by the cold leather.

“I don’t trust you.” I seethe, ready to punish her for something she had no control over.

“Please, stop! I can show you the footage. I didn’t get his face, I swear!” She squirms beneath me.

The door swings open, Hypnos and Than barreling through. They each grab one of my arms and bulldoze me into the back room.

“Seriously! What is wrong with you?” Hypnos growls, his grip on my bicep tightening.

I yank myself free, but it just gives him a reason to shove me back onto the bed. I’m riled up, feeling like a caged animal on this bus and I want to scream at them. To beat them until their bloody, but I don’t because I realize they're all I have in this life.

“You need to calm down. You realize you just physically assaulted the journalist we agreed to have on our tour, right? I’m honestly shocked the cops aren’t lining up outside this bus.” Than reasons.

I hate that he’s the logical one in this group. “Koke should know that we don’t take our masks off in front of strangers. He’s jeopardizing all of this! Once we’re made out, it’s over.”

“That’s so dramatic. It doesn’t have to be like that. It certainly didn’t warrant you choking Ash out.” Hypnos barks.

“We can’t trust her!” I reiterate for the millionth time.

“You are so closed off, dude! Just fucking live for five minutes. Take a breath and relax. Life isn’t that serious.” Hypnos swipes his palms down his face in frustration, his mask slipping.

Out of habit, he pulls it back up over his nose.

“Look, Khaos, you need to figure out what is going on inside of that fucked up head of yours and sort it all out before you get hauled off to jail. You need to end this distrust Ash campaign because it’s a party of one and we all know one ain’t a party.” Than grips my shoulder roughly, studying the look in my eyes.

I take a deep breath and realize he’s right. I’m driving myself insane and that can’t be a good look for us. I nod, agreeing to let it go.

“Good. Now untie Ash and let’s get a room at the Hilton down the street. We need to get off this bus.” Than slaps my back.

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