Page 25 of Doesn't Count

“Thanks?”

“Are you admitting I’m right?” He challenges.

“I’m not admitting to anything.”

“Oh, come on! How do you expect us to open up to you if we know nothing about you?” Kokytos reasons.

I nod, understanding where they're coming from. I didn’t anticipate having to open up like this, the whole reason I’mhere is to get them to confide in me and not the other way around.

“Answer the question.” Khaos orders.

I feel backed into a corner, my palms clamming up. I rub them down my yellow sundress and clear my throat, unsure how to respond. Do I lie or do I just tell them the embarrassing truth?

They can see how uneasy I am, but all it does is make them press even harder. They’re all chanting “tell us,” everyone except Khaos. He’s just burning a hole through my head with his angsty glare.

“Okay!” I shout, my voice cracking slightly. “I’ve actually never had a boyfriend.”

The chanting stops and it’s dead silent until Hypnos speaks, “No way. I don’t believe it.”

I bite my thumb nail, not ready for this conversation again. I have it every single time I tell people this. They don’t believe me, or they tell me that I’ll eventually find the right person. It’s always the same.

“Believe it.” I clip.

“But you’ve at least had sex.” He states as if it’s the truth.

I steal a glance at Khaos, and his eyes haven’t moved from my face since this conversation began. I’m not sure if he’s trying to decipher if I’m lying or telling the truth, but it causes an itch under my skin. I squirm in my seat, all eyes on me, waiting for my response.

When one doesn’t come, Khaos answers for me. “She hasn’t.”

“No way, man. Look at her!” Hypnos deposes.

“Exactly, look at her. No one is this uncomfortable talking about sex unless they’ve never had it or they’re a prude. In this case, I’m guessing it’s both.” He jabs.

“Okay first of all, whether I’ve had sex or not isnone of anyone’s business. Second of all, I’m comfortable talking about sex, but not about if I’ve had it or not!” My voice rises in slight hysteria.

“Definitely never had sex. Definitely a prude.” Khaos provokes.

“Definitely none of your damn business!” I shout.

“Woah, chill. It’s not that serious.” Than chuckles, awkwardly looking between me and Khaos.

I’m just as confused as to how this topic became heated, but I’m ready for it to be over. Before anyone else can say anything, the driver peers out from behind the front to let us know we’ve arrived at the venue.

Khaos storms out of the bus immediately before anyone can even say another word.

“What’s his deal?” I grumble.

“There’s a lot going on inside that head of his.” Than answers my rhetorical question.

I hate to admit it, but I know exactly how that can be. We’ve all been through things that others might not understand and sometimes it has a bigger impact on who we are than we would like to admit. With Khaos, I can see that there is something inside of him that’s eating him alive, but he’s too much of a coward to say it out loud. He would rather deny his demons than deal with them. Though, I’d be a hypocrite if I say I didn’t do the same.

Than and Kokytos follow after Khaos while I grab my computer bag and camcorder. Hypnos waits by the kitchen table for me, and we walk out together.

“Just between us, have you had sex?” He presses one last time.

I contemplate telling him. He’s been nothing but nice to me so far, but he’s also best friends with the devil.

“Everyone has, right?” I smile up at him reassuringly, or at least that’s what I’m going for.

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