Page 125 of Doesn't Count

Suddenly, I can’t breathe anymore.

“I’m so sorry.”

Oliver’s apology echoes through my mind, whispered in earnest, desperation coating his tongue. A dangerous glint flashing across his amber eyes, so wide, so delirious. I was utterly petrified as I watched the blade of the knife in his hands dance wildly above me, threatening my life. Except, the life taken wasn’t mine. The next few moments felt like being dunked beneath the surface of an ocean. The lack of air shocked my lungs, a salty, tangy fluid filling my nose.

“Ash!” My name rings in my ears, muffled, like I’m still drowning in someone’s life force.

My shoulders are jostled, my name louder this time.

As if I’m finally being dragged up from beneath the water, I take a large gulp of precious air. My lungs inflate with relief, and I can feel myself begin to breathe again.

“Ash, are you okay?” Sam urges next to me.

I nod, panting, wondering if this is how it’s going to be now.Often dragged back into a memory carved so deeply inside of me that it leaves a scar, protruding and jagged.

“I’m good. I’m okay.”

Concerned gazes surround me and the need to be alone starts to make my skin itch, but there’s still one thing that’s growing like a tumor on my brain; Oliver.

“Have you guys visited with Oliver yet?”

“Nah, family only at this time.” Koke grumbles.

I nod, swallowing the bitter taste of disappointment.

“Hey, um, I’m going to grab a shower. Feeling a little gross.” I gesture to the blood now smeared onto my hands.

“Okay, Ash.” Sam smiles softly, understanding. “Oh, I brought you a few things from home. Toiletries and a change of clothes for when you’re ready to leave.”

She points to a bag on the counter near a sink. I thank her, giving her a long hug, then wave goodbye to the guys. As much as I craved the quiet, the loneliness starts to sink in and bites harder than I thought it would. It took three tries to convince a nurse to remove my IV and let me wash myself. They wear their heartbreak all over their face like egg yolk; sticky and impossible to remove. It’s starting to make me uncomfortable.

As I finally stand under the stream of hot water in the hospital shower, the only company I keep are the demons that plague me.

I watch as pink tinted water swirls near the drain, fading away. I don’t get out until the pink is gone and even after that, it’s another century before I’m drying off. My movements are slow as if I’m on autopilot. The signal from my brain to my limbs dragging through my body like they’re going on strike.

When I step out of the bathroom, I notice a blonde outside my window. She’s carrying a little boy, with another at her side, talking to a nurse behind the desk. The woman looks familiarand when the nurse points directly at me, she turns, our gazes clashing.

I know her.

It’s the pregnant woman from the church.

Shit, shit, shit!

I back up as she makes her way for my room. My mind reels with questions and fears. What is she doing here? The thought that she’s here to threaten me and Oliver to return crosses my mind. Perhaps they never caught the ringleader and she’s here on his behalf.

Then I remind myself she’s with her children, how much harm is she willing to do with them present? In public, no less.

A knock sounds on the door. My heart pulses inside my throat, nearly choking me.

“Ash?” Her voice is light and feminine without a trace of malice.

I don’t respond even though she knows I’m in here, she saw me behind the window.

“I’m sorry.” She says behind the wood. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

I respond with silence. I can hear one of the children whine and she shushes them.

“I just wanted to come by to make sure you were okay. I mean, I’m sure you’re not, but you’re safe now.”

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