Page 55 of Devil to Pay: Cutter

He bends in to kiss me, causing my eyes to close again, but for a very different reason. When he pulls back, he stays close to my face. “I don’t want you getting rid of the baby, Aj. I want us to be a family.”

“Afamily?” I’d laugh if it wouldn’t hurt so much. “You’re confusing your feelings for me with the pregnancy.”

“No. I fucked up—I know I did. But all I’ve been doing is thinking about getting to you and making sure you’re safe and that you know I want this with you in a way that Ineverthought I would.”

“Cut, you don’t—”

“Listen to me.”

I shake my head. “You want freedom and I’m just too–damaged–to raise a kid.”

“You’re not, babe. Are you gonna screw up sometimes? Hell yeah you are, but guess what? So am I.”

“And you think that’s a smart environment for a kid?”

“I think when you screw up, I’ll be there to get things back on track. When I screw up, you’ll be there to do the same. We both came from shit families, so we try our damnedest not to repeat their fuck-ups. The way I see it, there has to be a reason for this, right? Never knocked anyone up before and I’ve been fucking since I was fifteen. But I never fell in love before, either. Both those things happened in, what? Two months? Withyou.”

“Cut–”

“Not done, Aj. I’m not a praying man, but I figure the universe wants us together, wants us to raise our little family with my brothers and their old ladies.”

Ha! That’s a joke. “Your brothers? No, Cut. Vlad left me to them. Those men who took me. He left me.”

“Really? Then why are Vlad and Reaper sitting in the waiting room here waiting for updates on your condition?”

“Vlad ishere? And how did Reaper get here so fast?”

“The Lords know someone with a private plane. Vlad called Duke. Duke got it arranged. Half the lieutenants are in Lima with Rough, the other half are here. When I landed in Lima, I got a call from Reap telling me where to find you and I hauled ass.”

“Rough’salive?” Tears begin to roll down my cheeks. “I tried to help him–”

“Baby,” he whispers into my hair before bending in to kiss the side of my head.

“Why isn’t Vlad with Rough? That’s his brother. He should—”

“He said he’s here because he needs to be. Rough is in good hands, but you need protection.”

“He hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, babe. And it wouldn’t really matter at this point if he did. You’re my old lady. You’re carrying my kid. I’m a patched-in brother. As my old lady, you’re afforded all the same rights as the rest of ’em. I laid into him. Dusty called Reap and Reap laid into him. Then I guess she called Rae, Greer, and Nic. Nic went off on him the way only an old lady has the power to do, if you know what I mean.”

I actually laugh while visualizing that.

“Trust me when I say that he’s exactly where he needs to be.”

Sighing, I ask, “What if you freak again?”

“I won’t. It shook me. And I’m so damn sorry about that.” He presses his face to the side of my head again. I guess there aren’t many ways to show your vulnerability when one of you is in a hospital bed. “You got to remember the kind of club we were when I joined,” he said. “Old ladies, babies… they weren’t in our vocabulary. I didn’t know you were gonna take off by yourself. Hell, I didn’t mean to drink so much that I passed out. But I can be who you need me to be. I know I can. You just have to trust me enough to prove it.”

Can I trust him enough?

That’s the hundred-million-dollar question now, isn’t it?

I start to shiver. It could be from the pain, or the infection, or my emotional state. Who the hell knows at this point? “I’m cold,” I tell him.

He looks at me through eyes filled with concern as he pulls the thin blanket up around my shoulders to tuck me in. Then he presses the button for the nurse.

“How can I help you?” the man asks through the speaker.

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