The smooth burn of that first drink calms me down a bit.
“Another,” I call over to him and Horace is right there pouring another double shot for me. This one, I don’t shoot, taking measured drinks until it’s gone.
The front door swings open to Aja walking in. I stand to go to her because the look on her face puts me on alert. Something bad happened. Like I said, her face gives it away, but if that didn’t clue me in, the way she’s dragging her feet, like a death row inmate on the way to the electric chair, would do it.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask.
“Cut, can we talk in the room?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
She lets me take her hand to lead us back to the room. Inside, with the door shut, she drops onto the edge of the bed. Her demeanor is freaking me out.
“What? Just tell me,” I demand.
“Cut…” She sucks in a breath. “I’m pregnant.”
I stare at her blankly for a second, her words not really registering at first. But then, once they do, my heart begins to race like it’s trying to escape the room. This can’t be happening. A kid? How did she… How did I… How didwelet this happen?
This seriously can’t be happening.I rub the back of my neck as I pace the floor in front of her. “Aj, I’m not prepared to be someone’s dad. I like my life the way it is now. Going on runs, you and me taking off on my bike for a weekend, fucking whenever, wherever we want to.”
“So you want me to get rid of it?”
“You want it?” That stops me in my tracks. She wants a kid, that changes the whole trajectory of our lives. I won’t be whipped and tied down like my brothers.Goddammit. Things were going so well for us.
“Shit—I don’t know what I want, Cutter. I’m twenty-two years old and this is the first time I’ve ever been in this situation.”
“Kids ruin everything. So if you keep it—fuck….” I rub my hands over my face. “I love you, but I don’t want a kid. So how does that work for us?”
“Then we’ll get rid of it,” she says in a tone void of any emotion.
“Not legal here and I’m not taking you to some back-alley asshole to carve you up.” I step closer to the bed, picking up my laptop from the side table, then drop down next to Aja. I search up where we can go to take care of this. I find a doctor in Michigan. “Let’s try to set up an appointment.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything. Fuck if I know if I’m doing the right thing here, but neither of us is in a mindset to have a kid.Kids ruin everything.Like I didn’t hear that my entire life growing up.
Since it’s Sunday, Aja will have to wait until tomorrow to call. I want to hold her, tell her we’ll get past this bump in the road, but by the look of her, I can’t tell if she wants me touching her right now or not.
Pregnant.
I thought Danni was the last complication we needed.Thisis the last complicationIneed, especially now that we’ve voted to take on Danni and actively go after a serial killer. Reap, Rough, and I are the only ones not tethered to Bentley by babies.
Could anyone imagine me as a role model for a tiny human? What would I have to offer a kid besides teaching them to say, “Fuck” and how to ride a Harley?
Dammit.I need to clear my head. “I’m going out for a while. Need to ride, need to clear my head. You should lie down or some shit.”
The face she throws my way—she’s completely broken. I pull her head closer to kiss the top of it and get the hell out of there. Why did this have to happen to us?
The music’s going when I hit the hallway, which means the pussies must have started to arrive. I walk through the party unnoticed, hit my bike outside, and take off for parts unknown. This sucks. Aja should be on the back of my bike. No, I should be in that bed fucking her brains out. Right now, I don’t know if I’ll ever get hard again. After turning off my phone, I spend the rest of the day riding. It’s dark by the time I cross over into Asheville, North Carolina. Emotionally beat, the first hotel I come to gets my money.
Once I’m checked into my room, I head down to the restaurant inside the hotel. It has a bar and I plan to get shit-faced tonight.
My eyes peek open way too early for the state of my head. Last night must have put a dent in my wallet because I don’t get hungover and this morning I’m hungover as fuck. I pick up my phone to see the time and shit—I forgot to turn it back on last night. When I power it up, there are missed calls from Rough, Vlad, and Reaper, and four missed calls from Aja. One new voicemail.
I press the speaker button and hitplay:I called first thing this morning. Since there’s always a time issue with these things, they said they can see me as early as tomorrow. You didn’t call, so I don’t know if you’re even close enough to go with me, but I made the appointment. I hope you’re being safe as you clear your head. I’m heading up to Michigan now.
She’s going by herself? I press thecall backbutton. It goes to voicemail. “Woman, where are you? Call me back.” I’m freaking out. She can’t go off by herself. It’s not safe. I dial Dusty’s number. She’d be at the office by now.
“Cut?” she answers. “Aja okay?”