Page 11 of Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

4.

Gage a.k.a. Chaos

She’s goddamn killing me. Calling. Texting. Telling me how much she loves me—but she refuses to do the one thing that will bring us back together, tell me where the fuck she is. I know I should hang up on her, get her to miss me to the point she can’t stay away any longer. But Liv and I both know I could never do that. Not when she needs me. Livvy asks me not to hang up, I don’t hang up.

We stay on the line while I clean the splooge from my gut. While I change into some sleep shorts. And while I stretch out on my side of the bed, but I do it tucking Liv’s pillow next to my body so I can smell her while I talk with her, after putting her on speaker phone.

“Alright, I’m settled. So tell me what you’ve been doing with yourself?” I ask. And I’ll admit, partly because I’m curious, but partly because I hold on to the hope that she’ll give some little detail away that Blood can run with and we can bring her home.

“Gage, you know I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I didn’t ask for names or locations. Just tell me how you’ve been spending your time.”

“Well, I suppose that couldn’t hurt. I—uh—got a job.”

“A job? So no more phone sex? That’s great, baby.”

“It’s just a gas station. But the little old man who owns the place is a hoot. Everyone knows everyone here, so when they come in to pay for gas or get a coffee or soda, they end up staying for at least another ten minutes gabbing. Even when they didn’t know me, Smitty hired me, so they treated me like they had known me from the beginning.”

“Smitty?” Finally. Something. Maybe.

She sucks in a breath. “I shouldn’t have told you that. I better go.”

“No.” I shout into the speaker, my hand thrown out, palm out like an idiot. As if she can see my hand begging her to stop. Embarrassed, I run my raised hand through my hair and chuckle, then quickly charge on. “What can I do with the name Smitty, Liv? Think about it. I have no last name, and it’s probably not even his real first name. You’re safe.”

“Well, okay then. I—uh—didn’t really want to go anyway.”

“Good. So what do you do when you aren’t at work?” I prod.

“Well, I mostly spend my time fixing up my, well, the place I’m staying. It was kind of a dump no one had lived in for years.” She stops talking to laugh. “So far I’ve gone through two cans of WD-40 to try and turn knobs or open some door. The grass is so overgrown, Gage, that I haven’t spent a lick of time tending to it because it’s such a daunting task. No lie.”

“Livvy Baxter, my city girl, doing yard work? Seriously, I can’t even picture it. You never wanted to live anywhere but the big city when we were younger.”

“Things change. I will tell you, you’d like it here. I’ve thought that so many times since arriving.”

“I’m gonna be honest, Liv. I’d enjoy a prison camp so long as you were with me. Though,” I stop and I can hear her swallow. “I’d be conflicted because I wouldn’t want you anywhere near a prison camp.”

That earns me a Livvy laugh. High-pitched and like chipmunk chatter. Her laugh trails off into a yawn.

“Hey, Liv?”

“Yeah?” she answers, but she sounds so sleepy.

“Do you remember that day when your brother went out of town with your dad, and I took you out on Lake Michigan in that little rowboat?”

“That was a good day.”

“It sure was, baby. I hope we have the chance to do something like that again.”

“Me, too,” she says, but from the sound of it, she’s drifting.

“Night, Liv. Love you.”

“Night, Gage. I love you, too.”

After a few deep breaths in, Livvy’s shampoo and perfume mix helps calm me. They’re the only way I’ve gotten to sleep since she left. And they do their job now. I close my eyes, hoping that I can turn the tide of my dream to that day on the lake.

It worked. I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face. The dream, so real I could have sworn Livvy’s body warmed my bed and not the memory of her. Until I come to my senses. Then the hurt and sadness rush back in. Lugging my body from the bed turns into a true feat of strength. But once I’m showered, shaved and dressed for the day, the sluggish feeling has abated, at least for the moment.

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