I chew on the inside of my mouth.
“It’s 6 p.m.? Seems late to start working?” I tap Bertie, and he jumps off me so I can stand.
Ben's arms hook around my waist and pull me close.
“Business dinner. Anyway, you know it’s our six-month anniversary this weekend,” he whispers, brushing his lips along my cheek.
Interesting deflection there. That’s just one of many lately.
Late-night dinners, work calls, emergency appointments. I’m surprised he even stayed over last night.
“I do,” I lie. I had no clue. Who celebrates six-month anniversaries?
“Dinner? Hotel? How does that sound?”
I should have butterflies. Shouldn’t I?
“Perfect.”
He presses his lips against mine, and I close my eyes. Nothing. I feel nothing.
Maybe it’s because the anniversary of my dad’s death is coming up. I’ve felt pretty numb since I lost him.
Maybe once I get my spark back, I’ll feel something more for Ben.
He pulls away and assesses me with his blue eyes.
“You don’t seem excited. In fact, nothing I do excites you. When’s the last time I even had my dick in you?”
I cringe at his words and take a step back.
The only time I feel any kind of life is when I’m behind the wheel of my Shelby.
My best friend, Lily, keeps telling me it’s not me, it’s just that I don’t like Ben. Maybe she’s right.
“I just have a lot going on.” I tap my head, and his face softens.
“Always so busy in that head.”
I nod. He has no idea what it’s like to live inside my brain. It’s like a squirrel on crack lives in there—every hour of every day—frantically running from one idea to another. It’s exhausting.
“So, dinner Saturday?” I ask, switching the conversation.
“My treat.”
There’s an awkward silence as he adjusts his tie.
“Good. Well, I need to get going. Shall I come here after and wait for you to get back? What time would it be?”
I nod and offer him a smile.
Something isn’t right between us, and the longer it goes on, the more I’m starting to think it isn’t me. But I suppose he’s making an effort to see me more.
“Sounds nice. Probably about two am. Take my spare key by the front door and let yourself in.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and go up on my tiptoes, pressing my lips to his, trying to quiet my racing thoughts.
Nope.