Page 234 of Ignite

It feels like I did.

What if I’ve fucked up?

I hurt him. I know I did. I felt him flinch. I felt his heart crack.

How far can I push him away before he really doesn’t come back?

“I think I’ve made a mistake, Lily. He wasn’t just a hate fuck.”

I run my hands through my hair.

“Let’s get you home, cleaned up, and fed. Then we’ll make some coffee and talk it out. All of it.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Lily.”

She smiles.

“Well, for starters, you’d be walking home.”

Chapter 88

CONAN

“Go away!” I shout at whoever is behind my cabin door.

The knocks get louder.

I toss back my whiskey and turn up the music, trying to drown it out.

It’s not just the knocking I want to drown.

It’s the ache in my chest. That burning feeling. The sadness hollowing out my heart.

I’m miserable.

The door slams open, and in stride Finn and Declan.

“What part of ‘fuck off’ don’t you understand?” I spit.

They share a worried look before approaching me.

Like I’m some rabid animal in a cage they’re about to tranquilize.

Shit.

Maybe Finn really might put my useless ass down.

“Conan. You okay, bud?” Declan asks calmly.

“Fine. Whatever gave you the impression of anything otherwise?”

I throw my arms wide to gesture at the state of my cabin.

Three days’ worth of boozing. Not leaving the place. The occasional break to throw axes in the shed.

This is my life now.

Pointless.