Page 23 of Pity the Living, Not the Dead

I came to a stop beside the island. She was unloading the dishwasher with her back to me. I’d entered so quietly she wasn’t aware I was there.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

It bounced around inside my head like a pinball against the paddles.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

I crept up behind her, wrapping my forearm around her chest, cocking her head to the side, and sank my fangs in.

In the distance, I heard Elijah’s voice cry out, “Liam, NO!” I was too far gone. Her blood rushed through my veins like liquid magma. Hot, yet smooth like a fine wine.

Thump, thump. Thump…

I was thrust aside, and my back slammed against the wall, jarring my brain. I stared in stunned silence as Elijah licked her neck to seal her wounds, then spoke clearly and concisely to her. “Rose, you came here tonight to fulfill the duties for which I employ you. You completed the last task. It’s time to leave. Pick up your purse and drive home,” he calmly directed her. She followed his directions, collecting her purse before leaving. I heard the car start, then drive away. Elijah’s furious face turned to me.

“I warned you, Liam! You showed no sign of restraint, it was as though you never even tried.”

Chagrined, I stood with my head hung low. The drywall was damaged where my body had landed against it.Humiliated. Horrified. Disgusted.Hate.Hate for the demon I was becoming. This wasn’t me or who I tried to be. I always strove to help, not hurt, and needed to be reminded of those roots. Those emotions were only a handful of what I felt at my less-than-stellar behavior. I nearly took a life. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself until her heart stopped beating. The sound cried out to me, leading me in a trancelike state to the source of its energy. I’d forgotten Elijah’s teachings as the firstthumpof her heart hit my ears. I was nowhere near ready to be near my family.

“Again, Liam,” I directed him as he practiced restraint with the giggling bunch of drunken bachelorettes I’d specifically chosen for this exercise. I tried to recount my earlier years when I was first changed, but I didn’t remember struggling to control myself as hard as Liam was having to. We had more than a dozen damsels lined up in the back room of the bar. I’d entranced each of them after paying the manager a handsome sum to keep others from entering. Humans will do anything for money, placing others in peril such as this was proof of that. While I promised there’d be no deaths, he didn’t know me from Adam, but his eyes sure as hell lit up when I put that fat wad of cash in his greasy hands.Bloody humans.We’d been at it for a couple of hours already, and each time I’d had to stop Liam before he drained them dry. “And stop.” I sighed, fearing he’d never conquer this objective.

“Elijah, I can’t consume another drop,” Liam protested.

“Thank whatever deity there is for that,” I said. “Lick her wounds and help me compel them.” Thankfully, compelling came naturally to him. Knowing when to stop drinking—not so much. The limo driver I hired took the blissed-out females back to the hotel where they were staying while Liam and I headed home.

“My mother called again today, asking when we were returning from Switzerland. I didn’t know what to say,” Liam informed me. We had been at this for weeks now, but still I feared that, even on the best of days, Liam would revert to the natural state of the hunter he now was and would take an innocent life.

I was running out of ideas and needed an end to this madness. “Tomorrow night, we’ll hunt first and then head into town. Let’s see how that goes. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.”

Liam sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize, love, but you have got to stop allowing the bloodlust to control you. You are the alpha in this scenario and need to get that through your thick skull.” I tried to say that in a joking manner, though it was not received as such. Liam huffed, saying nothing more during the drive home. I set my keys and wallet on the kitchen island as we walked inside. Liam immediately went to the sliding glass wall in the living room, staring outside.

Without turning around, he asked, “Will I ever get it?” I knew what he was getting at without further need to prod.

“My instincts tell me yes. The only possibility that I can come up with as to why you have no control is that something inside is holding you back, blocking the clarity. Tell me, Liam, what’s bothering you?”

“What if I’m no good at this being-a-vampire thing? What if I no longer have a soul? What if…” Liam trailed off.

“First of all, being a vampire is not athing. You can’t just wake one night and flip a switch that magically transports you back to being a human if it doesn’t work out the way you expect it to. This isn’t a thing you do, it’s who you are now. Second, there are no what-ifs here. You controlyou,which seems to be a huge obstacle for you to overcome. What’s blocking you from realizing your internal strength? And I’m not talking about the tree we broke when you slammed me against it during practice last week. That is exactly why we train. Could you imagine if that had been a human you did that to? They’d be dead,” I pointed out. I tried to walk him mentally through every possibility I could think of. Liam flinched at my harsh words, but it seemed tough love could be my only chance of getting his brain and body in sync.

“Ugh,” Liam groaned, plopping down on the couch.

I had an idea for the next night’s quest. Hopefully it wouldn’t break Liam and send him careening over the edge of a cliff. “Come, my love. It’s time for bed.”

Liam woke in no better place mentally than he had been when we went to sleep. He got out of bed to storm across the room and straight into the shower. Without me, which he never did. “Well,” I said, slipping in behind him, “you’re always grouchy when in need of an orgasm or food. Which is it tonight?” Liam growled in response. “Alrighty then, I’ll tackle one of those two scenarios now as I fuck the bad attitude out of you.”

“You can try, old man,” Liam replied.

“Old man, is it now? Someone’s rather cheeky tonight.” I reached around him for the bottle of lube we kept on the shower shelf. “Hands against the caveside wall, legs spread apart. Assume the position.” Internally, I laughed, having always wanted to use that line on someone.

Liam glanced over his shoulder. “Is this gonna take much longer?” Wow. I wasn’t sure what to make of this new sassy side of him. Half of me wanted to cover his ass in welted handprints while the other wanted to fuck him into oblivion.

Whack!

I landed the first swat without overthinking it.

Liam jumped. “What the fuck was that for?”

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