Page 39 of Forgive Me Father: For I Have Sinned

ON THE WAKE OFGreyson’s fortieth birthday, he seemed to be having some sort of mid-life crisis resulting in numerous outbursts. Butch was done with his pissy attitude and told him to, and I quote, “pull your head out of your ass Greyson before I do it for you.” I giggled as he stormed off, earning me a glare from the pair of them. I’d been putting together a new team of dancers all of which were visually pleasing. I was especially proud of a young, spunky ginger named Samuel I’d just hired so I thought watching them practice might perk him up.

“Come on, let’s take a walk,” I told him, heading out of his office door, fully anticipating he’d follow me. He questioned my motives, and rightfully so. I’d never asked for his opinion on any matters involving the dancers, and he preferred it that way. As it was, it was becoming increasingly hard to find someone he’d not slept with. He had an overwhelming need to over-notch his bedpost. Luckily, the age bracket for which I was choosing my dancers from was out of his line of sight, or so I’d thought.

When we entered the dancer’s locker room, all but one of them were sitting on the benches getting dressed. “Boys, I’d like for you to meet our illustrious owner, Greyson Fox.” Purposely, I poured it on thick knowing he hated being called out as anything other than simply Greyson.

I caught him rolling his eyes at me before he addressed them, “Welcome toInto the Grey,boys,” he began. “I’m sure Jamie has gone over our policies with you, but just to be certain I’d like to touch on a couple of key points.”

As he finished that sentence, my new prized dancer emerged from the shower area. “Samuel, why don’t you come and join us.” However, the smile I had was washed away as I witnessed the visual exchange between Samuel and Greyson. Samuel tried to wipe the disdain he had for my friend and employer away, but it wasn’t fast enough for my eyes.Mother fucker…

Greyson followed Samuel to his seat before returning his attention to the group. “As I was saying, the security team is here to protect you. If someone gets too handsy, you let them know, and they’ll be out on their asses. No means no, boys, and on that note, I’d also like to reiterate that we do not, and I emphasize the wordnothere. We do not sell sex. If anyone is caught soliciting their bodies in return for compensation, you’ll be out of a job so fast you won’t know what hit you.” He finished, glaring at Samuel. I was going to kill him. The headlines in the morning will read, “Greyson Fox, forty, dead by Jamie Keller’s hands!”

After giving them my brief pep talk, I ushered Greyson out into the hallway and laid into him. Seems my assumption was dead on accurate. By the time we got to the bar itself, our loud discussion had reached Butch’s ears. He glared at Greyson in warning, so he took it down a notch but the longer we talked, the clearer it became, Samuel was more than a one and done for him, he truly had feelings for the kid. When he stalked off upstairs, assumingly to his apartment, I filled Butch in on what had taken place and asked him to keep Greyson out of trouble. For the most part, that happened outside of his random stalkings on the night Samuel worked. Who he thought he was fooling, sulking in the furthest most booth on the floor, I had no idea, but I was on to him.

A couple weeks later, Samuel and I were upstairs in the open office area having a meeting about the upcoming charity event we were sponsoring. “The Big Gay Pool Party.” My phone buzzed with an incoming call from Jazz who proceeded to tell me due to a family emergency he wouldn’t be able to DJ the fundraiser for us. I reiterated that family comes first and to let us know how we could help. When we disconnected, I muttered, “shit.”

“Everything okay?” Samuel asked. I told him what Jazz had said, and he informed me one of his roommates actually DJ’d, but I didn’t know this kid nor his skill-set, so we’d need Greyson’s approval before proceeding because it was a major change.

“Hey Greyson,” I asked, knocking on his half-open office door. “do you have a minute?” He told us to come on in. We filled him in on what happened. When he questioned Samuel’s ‘friend’ comment, the conversation quickly heated as they began bantering back and forth like children. Greyson diffused the tension by offering to have Andy, Samuel’s friend DJ at the club on Friday night so we could hear him first before we decided. When Samuel left the room to call him, we got into a heated discussion of our own centering around Samuel. By the time that was over, I left the room with an overwhelming urge to smack the shit out of Greyson.

I slammed the door behind me, outraged and Samuel asked if everything was okay. I didn’t dare betray Greyson’s confidentiality, so I told him all was fine, and we finished our meeting.

Friday night came, and Andy did a great job DJing, thankfully since we were down to the wire and didn’t have time to interview replacements. Jazz said he was impressed which was good enough for me, so we offered him the job. I was still pissed at Greyson and chose to keep my distance in order to avoid ruining our friendship by saying something I’d later regret. I knew in time it would pass, but at the moment I was still furious with him.

When it came time for the fundraiser, Butch and Kegan had put together a team to provide security for the event. My job was to mingle, ensure the dancers had what they needed and make sure they took breaks as they needed them. The dancers, myself and Greyson were there as volunteers, but that didn’t mean we needed to overdo it.

There was one questionable guest that was on everyone’s radar, a high-roller so to speak named Rich Edelbrock. Butch had to eject him from our club for harassing the dancers, namely Samuel, so security was keeping a watchful eye on him throughout the night, as were we all.

Things were going great, and the place was packed, but something felt off. As I was making my rounds, I saw Butch tracking a very pissed off Greyson as he was descending on Rich. Watching the whole scene unfold, I spotted a terrified Samuel emerging from the corner Rich had him pinned in. Greyson literally ripped Rich off him, slinging him back several feet. Butch must’ve thought Greyson was going to kill him as I’d feared the same. He literally had him by the throat pinned against the wall. Butch was trying to talk him down, and finally, Greyson relented releasing Rich and yelling at Butch to get him the fuck out of there. Dumbass Rich couldn’t keep his mouth shut as he spewed threats at Greyson, and I thought for sure I’d be bailing my friend out of jail.

What took place next had me seeing my friend in a whole new light. The gentle side of Greyson, one I hadn’t seen in years shone through as he cradled a visibly shaken Samuel in his arms, not caring who saw which was not like him at all. Samuel must’ve told Greyson what took place before he rescued him as Greyson bellowed at the top of his lungs, “I’ll fucking kill him!” The room went dead silent as he proceeded to tell the crowd that this kind of behavior was not acceptable before asking Butch to have his car pulled around front so he could take Samuel home.

Once they’d left, the rest of the event continued without a hitch, murmured voices continued to make comments, all of which were in Greyson’s favor which I was happy to hear. I was anxious to get out of there and find out what the hell had actually happened. That was the kind of situation that could easily make or break you in this circle, but as the crowd disbanded, Butch received compliment after compliment from those in attendance for the way his team handled the situation. At the end of the night when we tallied the donations, we were happy to report we far superseded, almost doubled last year’s total. The fundraiser was considered a huge success in light of the Rich situation.

Butch called Greyson early the following morning after hanging up with Kegan, and he wasn’t happy. It seemed there was more to Rich than meets the eye, and he had his hands in too many shady, highly illegal ventures. I rode over with him to talk to Greyson, but when I asked if he knew where Samuel was, the man himself walked into the kitchen wearing one of Greyson’s t-shirts as a makeshift nightgown. I was stunned speechless. Watching the loving exchange between left me wondering if I was mad or happy for them even though confusion overshadowed both.

The more Butch explained, the angrier Greyson got. Seems no one had told him about the issue we’d had with Rich inside the club. I wasn’t sure which of us should’ve told him but it was clear as day, the three of us had fucked up by not saying something. My little brain was having trouble grasping the domesticity I was watching between Greyson and Samuel, and without thought, I blurted out, “what exactly is going on between you two?” Probably not one of my brightest moments nor a well-executed approach to have taken, but it was out there now, and there was no taking it back. When Greyson responded, addressing me as Queen Jamie, my hackles shot up, and I went into defensive mode.

Butch tried his best to calm me down, but it seemed now was the time for Greyson and I, to finally have it out. He needed to understand the enormity of the impact this was going to have on our employees, and if he fucked up, the trickle-down effect from the aftermath of it would be monumental, and I’d be out one damn good dancer who was also becoming a friend.

After much bantering back and forth, it was determined that it was safest to keep Samuel there under everyone’s watchful eye. Butch accompanied him downstairs to his locker so he could grab some clothes while the GreysonJamie saga came to a head. I just saw it going badly for everyone until Greyson pointed out that he hadn’t felt that way since Daniel, taking the wind out of my sails. When Samuel came back in the room, and Greyson’s face lit up, I saw things in a different light and uttered a single word, “Okay.” That was my way of letting Greyson know I finally got it.

Greyson took Samuel to his apartment to get some things he’d need, but while they were out, they were followed. I was sitting beside Butch at his NASA center, which consisted of his desk and a massive number of monitors that were hooked up to the camera’s we had in various locations throughout the building. Butch had been asking Greyson to install more, but he kept blowing it off mumbling something about privacy. I was certain that things would be changing. Our house was a security mecca, it was secured tighter than Fort Knox. Butch even talked the building owner into letting him install cameras in the lobby and alleyway behind the building. I was surprised he didn’t make me wear a hat with a built-in camera everywhere I went.Hell, I’d better not let that slip or he will.

When they returned, Samuel was beyond freaked out and wanted to lie down. Greyson and I decided he didn’t need to work his shift and since it was a Sunday, there was no need to fill it. If things changed, I could always hop on stage, but aside from practicing with the team, I only danced in private for one man.

As expected, the next day Greyson and Butch rallied the troops. Kegan was walking the building, inside and out to determine where the weak points were and to put together a plan for improving it to provide better protection for everyone. Later that night when we were lying in bed, Butch randomly asked me if I knew Greyson and Kegan had hooked up. That shocked me almost as much as it seemed to have shocked him, but it was something I too was unaware of.

The enormity of the situation intensified with each passing day, and what I once thought was overkill, had me suddenly feeling like it wasn’t enough. Nightmare’s, my past therapy sessions had taught me how to combat, were returning and I could tell everything was taking its toll on Butch as well. Samuel was struggling with being stuck indoors and began distancing himself from the other dancers, and just when we thought things had possibly died down, the unthinkable happenedSamuel had been kidnapped in broad daylight in the alleyway behind the club.

We immediately assembled the team to inform them what had happened, passing around pictures of Rich, his known accomplices and the kidnappers which luckily the cameras had gotten. Samuels roommates were wide-eyed and terror-stricken, and I felt sorry for the poor kids. Greyson invited them to stay in his apartment until the whole thing was over with, and they accepted almost instantly. I took on the motherly role, helping them get settled in while Greyson, Butch, and Kegan dealt with the situation at hand. Kegan was in constant communication with his federal contact as this issue spanned not only the US but onto foreign soil as well.

I did my best to take care of everyone, keeping them fed and caffeinated. Over the years I’d learned to make simple meals, soups, grilled cheese, sandwiches things like that although Butch still did the majority of the cooking at home for us. Nonetheless, at that moment what little skills I had seemed to help the team and that was all that mattered. Butch was dragging ass, working twenty-four hours straight and calling in every favor he had out there with past associates he’d previously assisted. I knew emotionally he was remembering the time when he found me in the clutches of someone who wanted to kill me, as was I.It seemed you can’t avoid flashbacks into past traumas in times like this.

Forty-eight grueling hours after Samuel was taken, the call came in, and Kegan told Greyson to get over to Harborview and that he’d be there waiting for him.

Butch and I waited in Greyson’s apartment for an update with Samuel’s roommates. Kegan called Butch about an hour after he’d called Greyson and told us Samuel had been found but had suffered some injuries while being held captive. He said Greyson was in the hospital room with him and the feds would be taking Samuel’s statement when he finally came to.

We heard from Greyson a few hours later, letting us know he’d be coming home with Samuel soon. I paced incessantly, chewing my cuticles until they were a bloody mess and scrubbing everything clean that I could get my hands on, making Butch insane. When Samuel walked in, he looked like hell, but his friends converged on him with me on the outside of the group hug, crying loudly that I was never letting him go.

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