Page 15 of Forgive Me Father: For I Have Sinned

INEVER SAW TODDagain after that night, but the memory of our time together is one I draw from when the clients I’m with are less than, well…Todd. Shifting from the street scene to the clubs seemed to be working much better for me. About half the time a night out only resulted in a bathroom blowjob or two, but that money was mine and mine alone. No more splitting my hard-earned cash with any-fucking-one. Plus, dancing was my therapy, it helped keep the demons at bay.

It was a Friday night, and the place I’d chosen was hopping. Sweaty bodies grinding against each other lined the dance floor. You couldn’t tell where one started and the next ended. The smoke in the air was thick, and I’d lost track of how many guys I’d danced with thus far, but it was time for a break. Not sure what vibe I was giving off tonight, but it seemed no one was in the mood to do anything more than dance. Figured I grab a glass of water and head on down the road to another club I’d heard about. After all, the clock only just struck midnight, so the night was still young.

As I was leaving the club, I heard footsteps behind me, splashing in the puddles the rain had left in the indentations along the sidewalk. They weren’t increasing in speed, but they were consistent. I ducked into the next club, shaking the rain off me over the entryway floor mats before ducking into the crowd. I’m sure I was just being paranoid, but you could never be too certain, and it wasn’t like I really knew how to defend myself.

I scanned the crowd, looking for any eyes darting my way to try and score my next job. I needed to get something going soon, or the bars were gonna close, and I’d be sent home with empty pockets. Heading over to the dance floor, I felt eyes on me but was unable to locate them. The unease that feeling brought unnerved me, usually I was okay with being stared at, but that was not sitting well with me at all.Shake it off and start mingling,I told myself, blending in with the sweat soaked bodies.

After dancing with a few different guys, none of which were giving off any suck me-fuck me vibes, I resigned to call it a night. When I started walking off, a firm hand grabbed my wrist and sidled up behind me. “Dance with me,” the deep voice resonated. Every hair on my body was standing on end, and my brain was telling me it was time to go home, alone. Unfortunately, I needed the money, and that may have been my last chance to get it. With that settled, I backed up, grinding my ass against him and resumed dancing.

“I’ve been watching you,” he said.

“Really? Did you like what you saw?” I flirted in return, needing to get the show on the road. Literally and figuratively.

He laughed. “That’s why I’m dancing with you. How about the two of us get out of here?”

“Well, that depends,” I said, turning to face the behemoth I was dancing with and came face to face with a wall of muscle.

“Oh yeah, on what?”

“How much you’re willing to pay?” I told him, turning my head up to gaze into what had to have been the darkest shade of brown eyes I’d ever seen in my life. Barely a smile graced his bearded face, his body screamed Dom, but I wasn’t about to give up now. Not when this guy had the potential to hit the financial mark, I needed by sleeping with him.

“How much do you charge?” he asked, his facial expression never faltered. I couldn’t tell if I’d piqued his interest or just pissed him off.

“Fifty for a blow, one fifty for a fuck,” my cocky large and in charge persona explained.

“Let’s go, rent a boy,” he said, dragging me through the crowd. I’d barely caught my footing by the time we reached the entrance.

Rent a boy?“Hey, stop pulling me. You’re hurting my arm,” I told him. The bouncer turned, staring at us, cocking a brow at me in question but before I could say anything Dom, as I’d decided to call him, replied.

“Sorry baby,” he rubbed my wrist soothingly. “I didn’t mean to pull so hard.”

Baby?Was he serious, or just playing me?

Against my better judgment, I followed him to his vehicle and got inside. That was my first mistake.

Silently I sat in the car while he drove to a place that was all too familiar to me, motel row. He parked without a word and went inside the office, coming out moments later with a key and waving it in front of the windshield while making a hand gesture for me to follow him inside.

That was mistake number two, but fuck, I needed the money, as I once again reminded myself.

When we got inside, he locked the door behind me and muttered. “Get undressed and on the bed.” Slowly, I did what he said which must’ve been too slow for him. He came up behind me, ripped my shirt off over my head and made quick work of my shoes and pants before throwing me on top of the bed. I hit the mattress so hard, I could feel the rings in the springs on my backside.

“Now,” he began as he undressed. “stay there.” Something in his command told me to stay where I was, but my feet wanted to flee. That was mistake number three, the final one as the smack he landed across my face sent me flying backward. “You will learn to listen, and do as I say, or you will regret it.” Little did he know, I already regretted it and also feared for my life.

The only positive to that encounter was the fact that he sheathed his cock, at least when it was over I wouldn’t be left with an STD. He gripped both my ankles and flipped me over and onto my stomach before climbing on top of me and pinning my legs against the bed. Try as I might, I couldn’t move them.

“So whore, I’m gonna fuck your disgusting little ass so fucking hard you’ll wish you were dead,” he spread my cheeks, spitting between them before sinking his finger inside in one push. I bit my bottom lip, refusing to show my fear or anger him any further as I prayed like hell this would be over fast.

When he was satisfied with what he felt was prepping me, he lined up and thrust himself inside. Try as I might, I couldn’t hold back the scream that barreled forth. Gripping my hair tightly, he yanked my head back and grabbed my throat with his other hand. Tears formed in my eyes and he told me. “Shut the fuck up, and this will be over much quicker for you.”

The harder he fucked me, the tighter his hand constricted around my throat. In hindsight, I should’ve listened when my brain was warning me something wasn’t right when we were still at the club. I’d be lucky if I survive the night.

The pain in this life is finally coming to an end,I thought as my airflow was constricted. I couldn’t make a sound, not utter a single word to beg for my release as his grip was so tight it didn’t allow for it. He pounded into me harder and harder. If my ass weren’t bleeding now, it would soon be, but that will all be irrelevant when I’m dead.And no one will care when I’m gone…

He came with a grunt right as I passed out from lack of oxygen.And now finally, death. I welcome you with open arms…

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