Page 46 of In the Shadows

Chapter

Nine

I’d texted Joe to let him know I was on my way back and was only twenty minutes out. He said there was no change to report and would head to the hotel since I was near. After checking on my love and changing out of the monkey suit I’d been wearing, I was far too restless to sleep.

Aimlessly, I wandered the empty hospital corridors. The smell of floor cleaner coming from the machines the cleaning crew polished the floors with filled my senses. Hall after hall, they were there. I knew they were only doing their jobs, but I needed to escape. One turn after another, I couldn’t get away. What I was running from, I had no clue.Possibly myself?Sweat beaded on my forehead, my muscles tensed, my heart rate sped up as did the speed for which my legs transported me. I expected someone to yell at me to slow down, stop running down the hallways when my legs suddenly stopped moving. When I looked up, I found myself standing outside of the hospital chapel.

The hinges creaked as I pushed the door open. I glanced around, seeing no one inside and the urge to enter overpowered me as my feet moved forward of their own volition. My fingertips glided across the tops of the polished wooden chairs as I took a seat. Filled with a sense of unease, I wasn’t sure if it was because it was a strange place to me or because of my lack of faith.

My eyes were drawn to the intricate craftsmanship of the glasswork that adorned the windows. The blue shades in the glass drew my eyes in.Joey’s favorite color is blue.The candelabra sconces along the side walls, dimly lit the space, adding to the peaceful ambiance it exuded. The carpet itself had seen better days, but I was sure it was only there for noise control, allowing those inside to pray in peace. Otherwise every little noise would bounce off the walls.

The simple altar at the front was warm and inviting and the longer I sat, the more at ease I became. Without meaning to, my hands wound together, fingers intertwined, and I found myself praying to whatever deity might be listening. Alone in my thoughts, or so I’d assumed, I jumped when a lone figure appeared beside me.

“I’m sorry, son, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Looking up, I stared into the eyes of a man of the cloth. A gentle smile crossed his face.

“It’s okay, I didn’t hear you come in.” I drew my hands back, embarrassed by the stance I was poised in.

“Yes, I’ve learned how to avoid the squeaky hinges,” his smile deepened, “I’d ask you if something was on your mind, but I find people don’t often come here if there isn’t.”

“This is my first time in a church. Today seems to be filled with firsts for me,” I told him. Not sure why, but I felt compelled to open up to him.

“Not a believer?” he asked, gesturing to the cross hanging on the wall.

“Never felt any reason to be. Life has dictated otherwise in my opinion.” I flinched, waiting for the proverbial lightning strike to commence.

“Not everyone is and who you believe in isn’t as important as believing in yourself. What you feel inside is your driving force, the choices you make in the life you’ve been given are what define you. The fact that in a time you needed to seek solace you found yourself in a place of worship says a lot,” he told me.

“Trust me, I want to believe, I really do, but the man who holds the key to my heart is laying lifeless upstairs fighting for his life.” I wiped a rogue tear from my face with the back side of my hand. “The world is a better place with him in it. He lights up a room just by walking inside.”

“That’s love in its purest, untainted form.” He placed his hand on my shoulder.

“You’re not bothered by the fact that I told you I love another man?” I questioned, waiting for him to start spewing biblical quotes.

“Love is love in my book. And the God I believe in loves all his children and doesn’t discriminate.” The honesty I felt in his words shocked me.

I stared over his shoulder at the cross on the wall, as though I were willing it to come to life. To somehow prove to me that God did exist. I waited for said God to tell me Joey was going to be okay and somehow make me a believer.

Lost to my thoughts, I never heard him walk away. But when I turned to the seat he’d previously occupied beside me, I found it empty. He’d disappeared just as suddenly and quietly as he’d come.

I returned to Joey’s room, even more confused about everything.

Taking his hand in mine, I kissed the back of it whispering even though we were alone, “Your love has made me the man that I’ve become.” I laid my head down beside him, hunched over in the chair once again and dozed off.

When I woke the next morning, I had the title to a new song and the first bank of lyrics stuck in my head. I’d just finished writing them down when the nurse on shift came in.

“Good morning, Mr. Branson,” she said, checking Joey’s vitals.

“Morning,” I half-ass mumbled.

“I’m the staff PT nurse Carla. Today we’re going to start exercising Joey’s limbs so that the muscles don’t atrophy. We’re also going to shift the position he’s been lying in more frequently in the hopes of avoiding bed sores.” She made a couple of notes on the chart before turning to me. “Would you like me to show you how so you can help?”

I was up on my feet before her question ended. “Absolutely. I want to help however I can.”

Joe walked in at that point and we filled him in on what was taking place. He set our coffee cups and food bags down before joining us beside the bed.

She whipped the linens off him and rolled them up below his feet. Joe and I both gasped. He was covered in bruises in various stages of healing, but the outlines were still visible. There was barely an area of skin on his legs untouched by the discoloration.

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