Page 3 of In the Shadows

“Brothers,” I began.

To Diamond. “Till.”

Then Mickey. “The.”

And lastly Joey. “End.” As the hands released, we turned our attention back to Easton.

“We have a short drive to our first stop, but since we left late we’ll sleep on the bus tonight. Sound check isn’t until three for us tomorrow afternoon. Dad booked the band that opened for you guys tonight,Better Off Dead, for the tour as your opening act. Did any of you happen to catch their show?” Easton asked us.

None of us had, we were dealing with the shit storm Joey’s mom brought on by showing up at the concert.Fuck, I wanted to kill that woman.She put him and his dad through hell the first time around, and I had no clue what she was thinking by trying to pull this crap again.

“Well, I’ll be overseeing both bands for this tour, so I’ll try to divide my time evenly. They have some rented Winnebago they’re traveling in which I hope like hell I won’t need to sleep in. But I trust you guys and hope you can be the big brothers, so to speak, on the tour.” He eyed us questioningly.

“No problem, East, it’s all good,” I assured him. “Do what you have to do and let us know how we can help. We can sic Diamond on them if you need us to?”

Everyone laughed, but Easton blushed when he looked at Diamond. Seemed someone had a little crush on the token straight guy.

Diamond cracked his knuckles and flexed his biceps. “Come get me if they give you any shit, East.” He winked at him.

Easton’s face flushed several shades of red before settling on burgundy. Clearing his throat, he tried to speak albeit a bit shakily, “Um, okay, guys, thanks. I’ve got some work to do.” He picked up his laptop and spread out on the couch with the table in front of it.

Diamond and Mickey took the other one, grabbing the Xbox controllers and booting the console up.

“Come on,” I nudged Joey’s shoulder, nodding toward the back of the bus where our bunks were. He got the hint and followed me. When we reached his bunk, I pulled back the curtains and motioned for him to get inside. As soon as we were both seated, I closed it. While closing the curtain wouldn’t give us the privacy we needed as far as being overheard, and whispering wasn’t Joey’s forte, it would at least block us from prying eyes.

“Sorry for putting you on the spot,” he apologized while toying with the fraying edge of his comforter.

“I wouldn’t say that. It was more like you shocked the hell out of me.” I took his hands in mine, needing the physical contact with him for this conversation.

“I mean, did I read things wrong?” he asked me.

I hated that he was questioning himself. “No, you read them right,” I sighed, “but it’s a lot to take in after all these years. When it comes to you, Joey, it’s all or nothing for me. And my heart can’t take being broken by you again.”

“What do you mean?” He looked up, making eye contact for the first time since we sat down.

“Ugh.” I toyed with my dad’s dog tags. Putting my heart out there wasn’t easy for me, but I knew I needed to do it in order for him to fully understand where I was coming from. “It’s like this, I found my true love, soul mate if you will, whatever stupid label you want to put on it when I was five. For twelve years I thought he felt same way. That is, until some stupid, hot, little piece of ass came prancing along and took him away from me. Broke my fucking heart, Joey. I can’t lose you again without losing me in the process. So either we go all in for this – whatever this is, or we stay friends and walk away from the whole possible boyfriend scene. But you need to tell me now before I get my hopes up.”

“Boyfriends?” He smirked, tossing me a crooked grin with that fucking dimple that I loved making its appearance.

“You and that God damned dimple will be the death of me,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I have a dimple?” He smacked the wrong side of his face in mock surprise.

“Yeah, but it’s on the other side, Einstein.”

“Stoli,” he reached over, touching the side of my face lightly with his fingertips, “I love you, I really do.”

“I know, you’ve reminded me numerous times over the years that you love me like a brother.” My greatest fear was that was how his declaration was meant now as well.

“Ugh, no. Let me try this again.” He guided my head with his fingertips, turning it to face him. “Stoli, I’m in love with you. I’m all in. There’s no one else for me. I can’t go back to being just friends with you. You are and forever will be my best friend, but I want us to be more. Tell me you want the same thing?”

Speaking past the lump in my throat, I swallowed before managing an, “I do.”Famous last words.

“So, we’re gonna give this a shot? This boyfriend thing?” he clarified, gesturing between the two of us.

“Ha, yes, this boyfriend thing. My first friend, my first and hopefully last boyfriend,” I added before leaning in to kiss said boyfriend. Who from now on, I’d be able to kiss whenever I wanted to.

“Your first boyfriend?” he questioned me.

“Yes, Joey, you’re my first boyfriend.”

“But I’ve seen you with other guys, what did you consider them?”

“A bunch of anger bangs. What did you think they were? You never saw any of them twice did you?” Not sure where he was going with this, but it was clear he’d seen something that wasn’t there.

“Why are they anger bangs?” he prodded.

“Because they weren’t you, dumbass. They fulfilled a need. They weren’t who I wanted.” I was desperately trying not to get angry, but Joey’s sense of self-worth was shit and I was sure that stemmed back to his mother walking away from him. Shit, my calling him dumbass probably doesn’t help with that either.

“Come on, boyfriend, let’s listen to some tunes.” He pulled out his earbuds and handed me one. We laid side by side, enjoying one of our favorite pastimes. Only this time we got to share kisses from time to time as well. We listened to music until the weight of the emotional day pulled us under, consuming us both.

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