Page 2 of In the Shadows

“Promise?” His eyes pleaded with mine.

“Yeah, I promise.” I risked placing my hand on his side, still unsure what the boundaries were but did it anyways. Seeking the closeness between us that I craved, my thumb traced a circular pattern against his hip bone while gauging his reaction to my touch. Thankfully, it was met with acceptance in return.I suppose I’m going to be nervous, even fearful for a while every time I touch him. At least until all of this finally sinks in or blows up in my face.

He leaned over, touching his lips to the skin beneath my ear. “I meant what I said, Stoli.”

It was as though he were inside my head, reading my thoughts. “We’ll talk more on the bus, okay?” I asked, not wanting to get too far ahead of ourselves.

He agreed, but the uncertainty crossing his face led me to draw him into my arms. His free arm wrapped tightly around me. As he leaned in, I spoke so only he could hear, “It will be okay, I promise.” I kissed his neck, and he shivered. To know that I was the one who drew that reaction from him, made me happier than I’d been all night.

When we broke apart, I braved the waters, pressing my lips to his for a quick kiss. “I’m gonna get some food and then we should mingle.”

He nodded in agreement before we released one another.

As if he were being summoned, Sal magically re-appeared. “Thirty minutes, boys,” he announced to the group.

Thank you, Big Ben.

After stuffing my plate full, I walked over to talk with Mom and Brett and spotted Joe Sr. making his way toward Joey. My eyes seemed to have trouble diverting from him. Maybe it had always been that way, but I was just now noticing it.

“How’s Brandon feeling?” I asked, taking a taste of the pasta salad on my plate. Not sure what the ingredients in it were, but it tasted damn good, so I shoved a huge bite in.

“Pace yourself, son,” Brett laughed, but Mom just shook her head having lived with my less than stellar eating habits for as long as she had. The feeling I got every time Brett called me son was beyond words. He was the only real father figure I’d ever had. Uncle John did a great job filling in, but as far as a step parent went I couldn’t ask for better. It made it much easier to be on the road for as long as we’d be knowing he’d be there for my mom and brother.

“Brandon’s fever finally broke so Grandma is watching him for tonight. She said to give you a big hug and tell you how proud she is and that she loves you,” Mom told me.

I loved my grandmother dearly and to hear her express that sentiment meant a lot. “Tell her I love her too,” I mumbled through another mouthful.

“Some things will never change,” she grumbled.

“Is it cool if I video call Brandon tomorrow? I’m gonna miss the little guy.”

“Of course it is, just don’t call when you know it’s his bedtime. He idolizes his big brother and is going to go crazy not seeing you or Joey,” Brett told me.

“Hey guys,” Easton shouted over the voices filling the crowded room, “we have to leave in a few minutes, but I’d like to get some pictures of you with your families.”

We lined up for a group shot first. Joey and I, as usual due to our heights, were in the back row with Diamond, Brett and Joe. Poor Mickey and his parents were stuck in the front row with my mom and Mickey’s younger sister Julia. I hated that Diamond’s family wasn’t here to show their support, but given the circumstances of how they parted ways, it was probably best for him that they weren’t around. I’ll never understand how anyone could treat their kids as badly as they’d treated him.

Joey and I slid our arms around each other’s waists as we’d done a million times before for photos, but this time it felt different.

Diamond reached around, smacking Joey in the back of the head. “Ouch! Fuck dude, what was that for?” he whined.

“Language, Joseph,” my mom scolded Joey, causing everyone to crack up.

“You got busted, dude,” Diamond teased him.

He loved to torment Joey. They’d more or less become brothers now that they lived together. I supposed after we got back from this tour, we each should look at getting our own places and turn into real functioning adults. Ha, like that would ever happen, but it was time to get our own places for sure.

Easton snapped what felt like his hundredth photo when Sal shut it down telling us it was time to say goodbye. After tons of hugs and both moms had been reduced to tears, we loaded up the bus and headed out on our eighteen month US tour. First stop, the McDonald Theatre in Eugene, Oregon.

Once we were on the road, Easton made his first attempt at conducting a team pep-talk, “All right, guys, is everyone ready for this?” Poor guy was met with nothing but blank stares.

Sal wanted to rent a new bus for us, but the four of us politely declined his offer. Betsy held a piece of each of us within her walls due to the amount of labor and money we’d each invested in her rehab. He warned that the bigger our band’s following got, the more we’d need to consider better traveling options. I told him we’d cross that bridge when we reached it. With this tour, we’d net our biggest profits to date, and we were steadily working on upgrading our equipment first. Some of which our road team were picking up for us along the way. We’d be doing quite a few longer sound checks before shows to get the new pieces tuned to where we’d need them, but it would be more than worth the extra effort.

My guitar collection was growing nicely, but whenever a song called for an acoustic, I always deferred to my first – the one Brett gave me. She was old, but reliable and worth more to me sentimentally than any pristine new piece ever could be.

Brett mentioned once that I should consider replacing the old girl, but I told him she’d have to die in my arms first for that to happen. His eyes glazed over when I said that to him. The smile on his face let me know the feeling was reciprocated. My mom did good when she found him, and I counted my blessings every day that we were lucky to have him in our lives. Not just for my mom, Brandon and me, but for my band brothers as well. Without Brett’s help, we may not have come as far as we had.

The cheers of my band brothers shook me from my day dream and I’d missed what had been said. I could only assume it was something good since they were smiling. Glancing from face to face, I decided to reel it back in. “All right, guys, hands in,” I said, breaking into our band chant.

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