Page 59 of Behind the Lights

I won’t be used again

To me you’re fucking dead

So just walk away

Because this time you won’t win

We’ve been down this road before

Far too many times to ignore

I’ve never looked at another, yet you seemed to look at everyone

But here’s where we say our final goodbye

Chorus:

Now my world’s no longer black

I’m never fucking turning back

You were never worth my time

I’ve said my last goodbye

They’ll be no more lies

Now I can see in the light of day you’re not who you said you were

I pity those whose paths you cross

Your ruthless ways will bring you lonely days

One day soon you’ll see

You’re not all you claim to be

Forget you ever knew me

You’re nothing more than a memory

I’ve made myself the man I’ve always wanted to be

I’ve said…Goodbye…

“What the fuck man?” he yelled at me.

Diamond and Mickey stopped adjusting their equipment and craned their necks our way. “You’re fucking hungover, hiding behind your Ray Bans – again.”

“You didn’t like the song?” I glared at him from behind the sanctity I felt behind my dark shades.

“The lyrics are great, but this fuckingmy life sucks let me slit my wrists shithas got to stop.” He clutched the paper firmly in hand, pacing back and forth. “We’ll sing the song, but not to the tune of the fuckingCuresingingkill me now. We’re a fucking metal band, Joey, and shit will be shouted from the rafters.” He kicked my boot sticking out in front of me from where I was perched on the floor in the corner of stage area.

“Fine,” I groaned through clenched teeth. Not sure who I was more pissed off at, him for pointing out the obvious or me for acting like a spoiled child.

“Jesus, man. Get yourself together before we’re digging you out of a fucking ditch of depression so deep it takes a team of twenty to get to you.” He picked up a half empty water bottle and threw it at me, “And lay off the fucking Jack, man, before I become your full-time babysitter. Then you’ll have a real reason to hate me.”

I whispered to myself, “I don’t hate you, I hate me.” But he must have heard me because he looked back at me before storming off stage. Leaving me to deal with the pissed off faces of Diamond and Mickey glaring at me.

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