Page 53 of Behind the Lights

I dropped my head in my hands, when I felt someone touch my shoulder. “Remember, let him come to you,” Diamond reminded me.

“He’s breaking my fucking heart.”

“You’re not the only one nursing a broken heart, man, open your fucking eyes.”

Seemed everyone knew something I didn’t, but they weren’t willing to tell me what it was.

“I know that look, Joey. It’s not my story to tell. If you don’t figure it out you’ll have to wait until he’s ready to tell you himself.”

“There was a time not so long ago where he told me everything.”

“Times change, people change. You either go with the flow or walk away,” he said before leaving me alone, drowning in my own thoughts.

Or was it wallowing in self-pity and mourning the loss of my best friend.

I sat there until Cindy, the receptionist came back to get us for lunch. Evidently Sal had it catered in, he probably knew we’d lose track of time like I assumed most bands did when they went into the studio.

My presence was met with silence in the breakroom until Mickey hollered, “Yo,” to get my attention before tossing me a water bottle.

“Thanks,” I muttered, grabbing a plate and a sub off the platter. We ate in silence, something that never ever happened, and it was eating me alive and I’d had enough. “Why are we walking on eggshells?” I looked around before my eyes landed on Stoli, staring down at his plate. “You Stoli,” I waited for him to look up. “Fuck man, we’ve been best friends since for fucking ever now you can’t even stand to be in the same room with me. I don’t get it. Tell me what I did so I can fix it.”

“You can’t fix it.” He put the dog tags in his mouth before letting them fall back against his chest. “This is my problem and I’ll work through it. I’m sorry for bringing the vibe down.”

Finally, he looked up at me, I saw nothing but sadness in his brown eyes and I wanted so desperately to take it away.

“This is big for us and we can’t afford to screw it up. Sorry if I’ve brought the team down, let’s move on and put out the best fucking record we can.”

I could see he was trying to make the best of it, unfortunately I knew his moods better than anyone and the fake smile he had plastered on his face didn’t fool me. But I wasn’t going to call him out on it in front of the guys. If or when he’s ready to tell me what I did, I’d be there to listen. And hopefully, be able to fix it without someone slapping the shit out of me for my stupidity.

After we finished eating, we headed back in the room to start working on the rest of the tracks. We’d gotten through two and were on the third when Dave came in to say goodnight. Glancing down at my phone I saw it was already ten thirty p.m., he wasn’t kidding when he said he put in late nights. Looked like we’d be doing the same.

“Guys, it’s after ten already. Think we should call it a night and get back on track tomorrow?” My throat was taking quite a beating as I realized I hadn’t done any of the exercises I’d learned while on the road to prep it. There was some hot tea with honey begging me to get home and curl up with a cup of it while memorizing the new lyrics I needed to get down.

Seemed everyone agreed as they packed it up, but left their gear behind before we headed out to the van. We dropped Mickey off at home along the way and told Stoli we’d see him in the morning after we parked in the driveway. Diamond and I headed inside to a quiet house since my dad was already in bed. I hopped in the shower and went downstairs to make some hot tea while Diamond showered. He was still showering when I came up to my room and plopped down on my bed with the lyrics and tea in hand.

The rest of the week was met with long days at the studio. Once we got going, we lost track of time and by the weekend we already had the music written for eight of the twelve tracks we’d determined we were going to record. Week three came, and we found ourselves recording the first track. We spent an entire day on one song, which Dave informed us was the norm. He said it would take a couple of days for us to get familiar with his ways and vice versa, which helped because we were afraid of missing our deadline at this point.

We decided to putTime to Move Onat the end of the CD, which was the easiest and yet at the same time the hardest track to record. It was just Stoli and I in the recording side of the studio while Diamond and Mickey sat with Dave in the control room. Stoli was beside me on a stool and I stood behind the microphone with headphones on. When Dave gave us the cue, Stoli hit the opening notes while I took a deep breath before singing the first lyrics. It took all I had not to open my eyes and stare at him, but I knew if I did that the words would hit me like a ton of bricks and we needed to get this track down. Something in the song was calling out to me, but I’d be damned if I could figure out what it was. When we were done, he set his acoustic back on the stand and walked right past me and into the control room. I sat alone for a few more seconds, to try and center myself before removing the headphones and joining the rest of my bandmates on the other side of the glass.

“All right guys, great job. Let’s call it a night and tomorrow we’ll start editing the recording,” Dave told us. And the remainder of the week was spent doing just that.

On Friday, day thirty of our studio time, Sal and Easton met with us to let us know the guy selling the used bus agreed to our price and we could pick it up whenever we wanted but recommended someone with a CDL (Commercial Driver’s License) be with us to drive it home. I knew my dad had his CDL and was sure he’d go with us. When it was time to go back out on tour Sal said he’d hire a licensed bus driver for us.

The four of us plus my dad and Brett drove down to Tacoma the next day pick it up. We’d only seen pictures of it, but Sal assured us it was a good deal and finished the transaction for us. It definitely wasn’t anything pretty to look at, but the windows had already been blacked out, so no one could see in which was great. But the inside needed a complete reno which we got to demoing immediately once it was parked in our driveway. From the sounds of it, Sal was finalizing our next tour, and this needed to be done before that because our van hit the three hundred-thousand-mile mark on the last trip we’d taken it on. The beast had been a good van and we’d still use her for running around while in town, but for tours we really needed more space that wasn’t shared with other bands.

Thankfully we still had funds banked after Sal cut the deal, but that was quickly depleted once we started putting our new lady back together. Why was it that vehicles were always named after females? The beast wasn’t a feminine name by any means, but we still referred to the van as though it were a female. Just seemed odd, especially considering only one of the four of us even swung that way. Go figure, but when all was said and done our baby girl Betsy was reborn.

We worked on her before and after band practices, and my dad and Brett helped on their days off too. Mary even joined in by sewing us new curtain dividers and we were able to frame up the bunk beds, so each could house doubles instead of twin mattresses. Not much walk space in between, but that was the least of our concerns. With two of us well over six feet tall, and Diamond right at that mark the only one who fit comfortably on a twin was Mickey.

About two months into the project, Sal contacted us about a record deal he’d set up that would happen in conjunction with a tour that started the first of the year with the guys from DD and the headliner was Maiden Voyage. It was a three-band tour and while we were still bottom on the bill, it came with other perks because Maiden Voyage were a kick ass band that dominated the charts. Only three bands meant better exposure plus for the first time, we’d be included on the memorabilia being sold so we’d finally be signing shirts with our band on it and get a slightly longer set time. That might seem lame to some, but to us it was a major win.

Somehow between meetings and impromptu meet and greets Sal and Easton had scheduled for us, we got the bus up and running in time to kick off the tour. This one would keep us on the road for the next eight months and I had to say that so far Sal and Easton were earning their keep. I hadn’t seen much of Lucas while we were in town because his dad had him flying all over to meet with clients, but he said he’d meet me at shows wherever our schedules connected. It sucked, but this was the life we’d both chosen and at least we were still together.

Chapter

Thirteen

Our road trip kicked off at the same time our new CD released. The record company set us up with so many cases to sell that it was ridiculous. There was no way we were going to sell out. But with that being said, our following increased a hell of a lot more than we thought after being holed up at home for so long.

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